


Private Schoolstuck

by Newance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Multi, Private Schoolstuck, johnkat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-06
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 18:09:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 36
Words: 79,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/530183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newance/pseuds/Newance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new school. A new start. You would think something like that would be perfect. But in Karkat's life? Hell no. Everything's too complicated. But... there might be sunlight in this hellhole, and that would be John Egbert - and the perfection he is. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sexual themes in later chapters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The hallways were full of pinstripe pants, and gray plaid skirts, all bustling around in the heat. A short boy, shorter than even most of the girls, cursed in his mind as he struggled through the crowd.

“Hey, motherfuckin’ best friend,” came a familiar, almost zoned out voice. The short boy felt a huge hand clap down on his shoulder. “You’re all up an' looking spiffy in that jacket, man!” The voice was deep, but scratchy. The short boy, Karkat, gazed up.

“What the fuck, Gamzee? You’re not even wearing the uniform!” The tall boy, at least six foot three, gave Karkat a smile, red hoodie and baggy cargo jeans splotched with old stains.

“Naw, motherfucker, that shit’s for geeks. I see you got some god damn skinny jeans on.” Gamzee’s face, painted like a clowns with some makeup, broke into a wide smile. Karkat looked down as they walked, observing his overly-skinny legs as they shuffled along in their gray skinny jeans.

“Yeah, Gamzee, you already know those pants look retarded on me,” he scowled. “You can be such a dumbass.”

“Alright, best friend, this be my stop. You know your locker number?”

“612,” growled the puny guy. Gamzee messed up Karkat’s shaggy black hair before pulling away to his locker.

 _Damnit, I can’t believe I let Gamzee pull me into this shit. I don’t even know anybody here. I guess that’s what you get when you get expelled_ , he thought to himself as he spun the lock to his aged locker with a pale hand. He pulled it open, and the musty smell made him cough. This place might have been prestigious, but it could sure use a good janitor. Karkat pulled his messenger bag over his shoulder, and looked at it. He checked to see if anyone was watching, before leaving it on his body.

Karkat caught glimpse of a band of students, all muscular, minus a girl, and all exhibiting the signs of "classic douche bags." One was tall, and looked like he was on steroids. His front teeth were chipped, and a black wife-beater was worn under his open jacket. The next was skinny, and his uniform was perfect. His blonde hair stuck up in the front with a purple highlight, and large square glasses stuck firm on the bridge of his nose. The last was a girl. She was medium height, curvy, and wearing a boy’s uniform. She had glasses with a dark lens over her left eye.

Karkat watched as they past by him, the steroids one glaring at him from behind cracked sunglasses. They headed straight for a boy about 4 lockers down. He was only about an inch taller than him, with black hair too. He was clad in the entire school uniform, but a neon green tie replaced the black, red, or gold ones he had been instructed that were mandatory. He had glasses perched low on his nose, and a hint of buckteeth prompted from underneath his smiling lips. He didn’t seem to notice the gang moving up on him, until he was pushed into his locker, and glasses snatched from his face.

Karkat’s grip on his locker door tightened, a creak whining from the freshly dented metal. He had been expelled from his previous school for beating up a teacher. Gamzee had been expelled the same day, and in direct correlation to the teacher’s beating. Gamzee had been caught high, but he was always high, and said teacher tried to forcibly remove Karkat’s zoned out best friend, eventually yanking him out of his chair. Some things happened, and the teacher was sent to the hospital, and the two to the principal’s office. And now Karkat felt the same rage he had felt that day well up in the pit of his belly.

“Hey, Egderp, you finish our Algebra?” the blonde boy said dominantly. Steroids held him up against his locker, and the nerdy boy squinted, the dorky smile still wide across his lips.

“Oh, yeah guys! It’s, um, in my locker,” explained the boy. His voice was a little feminine, but held manly undertones. Karkat’s grip tightened even more on his locker. His orange eyes watched the harassment from peripheral vision. Steroids dropped the boy, and the girl handed him back his now-cracked glasses. The boy dug in his backpack, and pulled out three neat papers, handing them to Blondie. Blondie read them over, and tossed them to the floor.

“You think this is a joke, Egbert? Those papers all look the same!” The nerd was pushed back up against the locker, and a swift punch was administered to the his gut. That was all Karkat could take, and he slammed his locker shut.

“Hey, fuckers. Back the fuck off,” Karkat growled, fists clenching. The bullies paused, and Steroids punched the nerd in the face.  
“What’re you gonna do about it, Shorty?” Blondie laughed, and Karkat’s lips drew up in a snarl.

“This, dumbass.” He charged forward, giving a brutal punch in the jaw to Blondie.

“Equius, help!” shouted the girl while Karkat continued to beat the shit out of Blondie. Steroids gave one final punch, straight to the eye of the nerd, and yanked Karkat from Blondie, punching him in the jaw.

Karkat kicked out, catching Steroids in his chipped teeth. He fell to the tile, and continued to beat the pulp out of Steroids. The girl had run off to get a teacher, and the nerdy boy sat stunned, staring in awe at the short ball of fire taking on both male bullies at once. The girl returned a few minuets later with two teachers, but both bullies lay unconscious on the floor. Blondie had a bleeding lip, and Steroids had a nose cracked to the side, while blood lay on Karkat’s fists. One teacher looked at the boy sitting up against his locker, a big bruise forming around his eye, and blood leaking from a split lip.

Karkat paid no mind to the teachers, or the unconscious bullies, and walked over to the boy, extending a torn hand down. “You okay, kid?” asked the pale boy, and the nerdy one accepted the hand up.

“I… I…” he stuttered, and Karkat got a look at the eyes behind the splintered glasses. They were blue, bluer than should be permitted. Deep and clear... and blue. An ocean, really. Karkat looked down, and realized he was still holding the blue-eyed boy’s hand. He released it suddenly, jerking his arm back, and noticed a few specks of dark blood on the stranger’s sleeve.

“Shit, sorry,” he grumbled, finally looking at the teachers. They were angry. The girl squat, trying to revive the fainted bullies. The two teachers gripped Karkat’s sleeve, and the nerdy boy reached out.

“What is it, John?” asked the female teacher, her voice gentle.

“Let me go with him, and help explain,” pleaded John Egbert, his lip still leaking. It was obvious John’s mind had been made up. Karkat gazed at him, vibrant eyes confused. They were lead to Headmaster Hussie’s office, John’s arm brushing close to Karkat’s, who was still shaking with adrenaline.

Long in the future, but not too long...

The lunch period bell had rung just when Karkat Vantas walked out of Headmaster Hussie’s office with John Egbert. After much yelling, dramatic movements, and explanations, Karkat got away with only a green detention slip in his hands.

“You didn’t have to do that for me, you moron. It looks like I kicked your ass, too,” hissed the grouchy boy.

“You didn’t have to do what you did either, Karkat.” John seemed to struggle at the name, having pronounced it “Karkit” more than once, and gave his new acquaintance an apologizing look.

“You said it right, dumbass.” The hallway was now flooded with students, but John seemed to have no problem sticking right next to Karkat. “Why are you following me?”

“I just want to talk to you. I mean, all you did was swoop in and kick the biggest bullies’ in the school’s asses! On a stranger’s behalf, too! What’s your deal, bro, are you some sort of superhero, or something?”

Karkat stopped, the hallways clearing, and he turned to the boy, orange eyes flaring.

“You listen to me, John Egbert. I’m not a super hero, I’m not anything. I’m a fucking loser, and a defect on the face of this planet. I’m scum, a monster, gross, and a horrible person in general. Stay away from me, because I’ll only make your life miserable with my pathetic existence.” Karkat spat out the words, and John caught a glimpse inside his mouth, canine teeth were elongated and pointy, but not vampiric, almost feline. Before John could protest, Karkat was storming off toward a tall boy who was nursing a bottle of red Faygo.

 _“I don’t think you’re a monster.”_ John’s whisper went unheard to him, and it seemed like it was only him and Karkat in the school at that moment. It was excruciating not to be able to talk to the boy who saved him, almost as excruciating as the pain radiating from his swollen eye.

 _They’re going to go after him now, too,_ thought John as he begrudgingly trudged to the lunchroom, and took a soggy piece of pizza. He wondered whom the tall kid had been. Karkat seemed so familiar with him, but then again, he’d never seen Karkat before that morning.

As he exited the area to get food, and entered the room with rows and rows of tables, he spotted a near white haired boy, and a platinum blonde girl. He took a seat across from the girl. She, Rose, took a quick glance at him from her knitting, obviously already knowing the entire story.

“Hey guys! How’s your day been going?” John’s voice cracked nervously once as he picked at the blob of cheese and much the school passed off as pizza. Dave glanced up from his iPhone for a second, then back down, and then his head shot up like a rocket, causing his black shades to shift on his face.

“Holy shit! Not as eventful as yours obviously! Fuck, Egbert, what happened?” Dave’s voice had the sound of anger bubbling through it as he quietly exclaimed.

“Uh,” John began, but Rose cleared her voice authoritatively, causing both boys to turn to her.

“I know what happened. The boy’s name is Karkat Vantas, correct?” Her question was directed at John, but Dave sprung up.

“Some Vantas bitch kicked your ass?!” John’s eyes widened at the thought, and held up his hands.

“No, no, no! Dave, calm down!” John begged, but Dave was furious.

“Dave Strider, I’d advise you to take a seat and let me finish explaining,” Rose commanded. Dave, like a whipped puppy, obeyed.

“John was in a fight with some bullies, it was three against one. Karkat Vantas merely kicked the living shit out of those bullies. He protected John, and didn’t hurt him.” 

John hastily agreed, but knew Strider would never believe him if he told him it was Equius, Vriska, and Eridan who were the source of his constant torture, and the reason there was always a spare bag of peas, or a steak in the freezer. Dave always hung out with those three, being a cool kid and all.

“Karkat Vantas, along with Gamzee Makara, just transferred here. They’re new students, and seem to be quite close as well,” Rose said, pointing out the two, sitting side by side at one of the tables. It was abandoned, save the two. Gamzee was sucking down another bottle of Faygo, and Karkat was crunching away on a bag of cheetos.

The two didn’t speak, but seemed to understand each other in a mutual silence. Every so often, Karkat would hold the bag’s mouth cocked toward Gamzee, who would steal a handful, and then the cycle repeated.

John studied the gray and white clown makeup Gamzee wore, compared to Karkat’s milky complexion. The soft white skin seemed flawless except a long scar trailing down the left side of his neck. It puckered and moved while he chewed and swallowed the cheesy junk food, clearly unaware, or just disinterested, in everything going on around him.

John felt a poke in his ribs. “Stop ogling, Egbert, or do you have a crush on your big hero? Aw! Princess Egbert and Prince Vantas!” Dave teased, making mock kissy faces. John shoved him laughing, and joking back.

John Egbert was mystified by Karkat Vantas. John couldn’t understand how Karkat seemed to hate himself, or why he transferred in the middle of Fall, or why he had even taken notice of the beating this morning. John Egbert was royally confused, and had a new mission.

Befriend the boy who saved him.


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat Vantas took his detention after school with Professor English. The black haired instructor seemed very casual toward the boy, as he directed him to the music room, which also served as the detention hall.

“I really don’t care what you do. Honestly I don’t even think you deserve this detention, but you just have to stay here for an hour,” laughed English, taking his place behind the desk. Karkat looked around at all the instruments, and realized the only place to sit was with them. He shrugged himself down onto a piano bench, the glossy keys begging for playful paps.

Karkat looked over at English, who was polishing a replica pistol, and set his pale fingers on the keys. He began softly playing Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’

“I didn’t know you could play. John Egbert plays piano too,” English’s voice rang out, and Karkat fumbled a key. Of course it was John. He smashed his hands down on random keys angrily. He just wanted to forget about that boy, and his blue, blue eyes.

“I know some. Violin mostly, harp too. Piano is the one I don’t know well. My mom taught me, she always used to go on about music, and how it’s important to our culture,” Karkat explained this with a loud sigh.

“What do you mean _used_ to?” the teacher questioned Karkat curiously. The pale boy’s body went stiff with nerves, unwilling to admit anything; he just placed his fingers back on the keys, and mumbled a few words before beginning a happy-go-lucky tune.

“She just isn’t that concerned about it now.” No further questions were asked, and the hour flew by in a flash of piano-covered pop songs.

Karkat slung his bag across his chest, and winced slightly as he discovered yet a new bruise on his ribcage. He headed past English, out of the school, and to his dorm building, Void House. Luckily, all the dorm rooms here were basically apartments, all equipped with basic housing needs.

Karkat sank down next to Gamzee on the couch, and thanked his lucky stars he got him as a roommate. His friend’s hand was occupied by a smoldering blunt. Karkat grunted at the sight of the drug. He stood up, and headed towards the back rooms.

“Yo, best friend,” croaked an obviously high Gamzee. “Where you all up in going to?”

“I need to take a shower. Nothing extreme, okay? There are fruit pies in the freezer,” Karkat actually smiled as his friend’s face lit up, Gamzee’s obvious weakness was fruit pies.

“Thanks, motherfucker,” Gamzee laughed his evil sounding, honking laugh, and Karkat went into the small bathroom provided in their room. He looked at his face in the mirror; small speckles of red blood still remained by his ears, neck, and on his shirt. A fresh bruise had begun forming where his jaw met his neck.

He shrugged off his blood-splattered clothes, and took in the sight of his body. The long scar that extended down his neck traversed his left pectoral, and down to his gaunt hipbone. Another scar wound around his right thigh, almost like a coiled rope. A bruise, almost as large as a towel, wrapped around his right ribcage, and onto his back. Fingerprint bruises also covered his throat where Equius had lifted him at one point. His knuckles were covered with large, raw cuts, and the bandages he had put on had long since become useless.

He turned the pod-like shower on hot, and waited for it to heat up, humming to himself. When the shower was hot, he jumped in, hissing quietly as the water his raw flesh. His chewed his lower lip, and closed the shower door, now encased in the tiny cocoon of watery solitude.

His hair flattened against his face, covering his eyes, and he carefully rubbed shampoo through it, watching as the suds became red with crusted blood. He scrubbed himself clean, and eventually just stood under the rain-like stream, orange eyes closed, humming, and thinking about his day.

After about an hour, he emerged, milky fingertips pruned. He wrapped a towel around his waist, and one around his head, a rather girly thing to do, but he didn’t care.

He walked back into the living room area, Gamzee’s blunt now replaced with a half-eaten fruit pie. His stoned friend nodded at him as he went across to his bedroom.

“Yo, man, your ribs…” Gamzee might have been a stoner who spewed off nonsense about miracles and wore goofy face paint, but he did care about Karkat deeply. Karkat was the only one who didn’t think he was a freak.

“It’s nothing, Gamzee. Eat your pie,” sighed the stubborn boy, who’s right half was purple and blue. Gamzee’s brow knitted in concern as he watched his friend disappear into his bedroom, door closing.

Karkat sank down on his bed, and checked the clock, which read about 5pm. He grimaced, getting dressed quickly. He tugged on another pair of gray skinny jeans, and a black hoodie that was far too large for him. His hair was always messy, so he didn’t even bother running a brush through it, and instead just shook his head, letting his hair fall into place. He pulled on his sneakers, and grabbed the small car keys from their peg.

Karkat left, heading toward the door. “Gamzee, I’m gonna go now. It’s Wednesday.” His voice almost caught, and his friend nodded solemnly. Karkat headed out of the dorms, the building casting oblong shadows. It was only a short walk to the Chevy Equinox that Karkat called his car, getting in and turning on the engine.

The CD player started up with a song very suited to today’s events. Karkat felt the corner of his lips perk up as Florence and the Machines blared loudly from one of his mixed CDs. He pulled away from the campus, and onto the street.

_“You hit me once, I hit you back._  
You gave a kick I gave a smack,  
You smashed a plate over my head,  
So I set fire to our bed.” 

Karkat sang along quietly, his head bobbing up and down to the tune. Right as the song ended, he turned on his blinker, driving up and parking in the hospital parking lot. He exited his vehicle, and made his way into the familiar place, the smell of antiseptic and latex burnt his nose. He went up to the nurse station, and a nurse smiled up at him.

“Hello, Karkat, good to see you!” Her smile was genuine, and she stood up. “Right on time as always. Well, she’s all yours!” Karkat nodded to the woman.

“Thanks, Jean,” he mumbled, heading off to the elevator. He punched in the floor 8 button, and stood silently as the metal box whizzed upward. He got off onto the quiet floor, his shoes squeaking softly as he headed to a room at the end of the hall. He opened up the closed door, and the beeping of the heart monitor met his ears.

He went inside the curtained bed, taking a seat in the chair, and slipping the bed’s occupant’s hand into his. The bed held a woman, maybe 35, with dark charcoal hair, and pale skin. She lay motionless, only the rise and fall of her chest to show she was alive, besides the heart monitor. The woman was in a coma, and had been for a while. Karkat felt the lump in his throat return as always, as he rubbed his thumb along the scar on the back of the woman’s hand.

“Hi, Mom.”


	3. Chapter 3

Karkat spent the hour sitting by his Mom's bedside, talking to her, singing softly, and wiping the few stray tears from his eyes. A knock came at the door at 6:30, and Karkat opened it for the tall male doctor.

"It's 6:30, Karkat. I thought I'd let you know. You can stay as long as you'd like, but it's time for her to eat," said the doctor, his hand going to Karkat's shoulder. A sandy blonde eyebrow perked up, and he tilted Karkat's head to the side, looking at the bruises.

"Karkat Vantas, have you been fighting? Do you need me to check you out?" The Doctor's tone rang with disbelief, and the boy shrugged.

"It's nothing serious, Dr. Carman. I'll go now." Karkat left the room in a hurry, he hated seeing his mom fed through a tube. He left the hospital quicker than ever, and sat down in his Equinox. It was dark out, and the lights faded quickly from the inside. He gazed up at the hospital, eyes misty with tears. He blinked a few times, before feeling them slip away down his cheeks. He placed his head on the steering wheel, and cried quietly for a few minuets, before wiping his face clean with a hoodie sleeve, and driving back to the quiet campus.

When Karkat stepped back into his dorm room, Gamzee stood by a big pile of blankets, and the short male stared at his friend.

"Feelings Jam?" Gamzee asked, sincerity reading with concern. Karkat felt himself nodding, and went to go burrow into the pile with Gamzee. He had never told his friend the entire story, or why he went to the hospital every Wednesday at 5:30, or who even was there. He didn't plan on telling him that night, but it was still nice to vent.

Hours in the future...

Karkat walked with Gamzee again that morning, and after his friend left to go to his locker, proceeded to his alone. The bruises had only gotten worse overnight, and were a deep, festering purple. He opened his locker, and again just stared into the empty space. Why did he even stop by here this morning? He knew he was just going to take his bag with him to class.

Down 4 lockers, John watched Karkat stare into the grimy locker's body. The boy's face and neck were badly bruised, and by the way he shifted stiffly, he could tell there were more injuries. John's black eye and split lip were minor to what he saw Karkat take. How could one so small take on Equius, the biggest guy in school, and win?

Karkat felt himself being pushed, and whipped around in time to see the girl from yesterday's arm retreating. Her hand was metallic, and was obviously a prosthetic.

"Who do you think you are, beating up my friends like that?" the girl's words came out in a hiss.

"I'm nobody, I just know it's fucked up to beat someone's ass who just did your fucking algebra homework. If he killed your sister or something, I'd fucking understand, but what the hell," growled Karkat, the girl's eyes dark. Her hair was so brown it was nearly black, and had one long teal stripe through it.

"Hmm, I guess your right. It was impressive how you took down Equius, and his stupid cracked teeth. You managed to put them both in the hospital," she laughed, and Karkat stared.

"If he's your friend, why the fuck are you insulting him?"

"That's for me to decide. I'm Vriska. Remember the name," and with that, she was gone, leaving Karkat to turn back to his locker, catching the eye of John for only a second. Those blue eyes seemed to bore into his mind, and Karkat hated it, but he found himself transfixed. He turned; slamming his locker closed, and strode over to John.

"I'm sorry I was such a douche canoe yesterday," he grumbled, shifting his bag away from his bruised ribs. John stared in disbelief for a second, before shaking his head.

"Hey bro, it's fine! You pretty much saved me. My friend told me you and a kid named Gamzee just transferred here, why don't you sit with me at lunch today?" John's smile was flawless, even with those big buckteeth, and his large glasses only made it that much more endearing. Karkat searched John's face for a moment, before shrugging.

"Fine, I'll see if he wants to. I have to warn you though, Gamzee is pretty… strange," said the pale boy, before saying a short goodbye and walking off toward English class.

English class was not, ironically, taught by professor English, but instead by a woman named Roxy. She didn't tell them her last name, only to call her Roxy.

Roxy was always drunk.

The students didn't mind Roxy's inebriation, as she taught pretty well, besides slurring her speech. Karkat sat by a girl named Nepeta, who drew on a small drawing journal on her lap all class. Roxy continued for an hour about the importance of semi-colons, only fumbling twice. The bell rang, and Karkat stayed in his seat, dreading his gym class.

The entire class had cleared out before he picked up his red binder, and walked out. He headed toward the large gymnasium, barely getting there before the bell. The teacher stood, an orange baseball cap in his hand, and pointy sunglasses affixed to his face.

"You must be Vantas," greeted the grinning man, "I'm Dirk. Dirk Strider, and I'll be looking over this gym class. Have you got a uniform yet?" His voice was cool, and low. Karkat shook his head, and noticed the other kids noticing him, and he also noticed John Egbert at the back of the group. Strider took him over to a back room, and gave him a pair of shorts, and a black wife beater, his gym clothes apparently. Karkat made a face of disgust. He hated shorts.

When they emerged, Dirk make Karkat jump by blowing the whistle that hung around his neck.

"Change up, you lamos!" Strider's laugh was like a bellow, and Karkat found himself hesitating to go into the men's locker room. He took a deep breath, and entered the room, clutching onto his uniform. The lockers were set up in a big E shape, and he found one compartment that nobody else seemed to occupy.

"Fuck this," he grumbled, pulling at the red tie around his neck, and stuffing his jacket into the locker. He felt another presence, and turned to find himself staring at a staring John.

"Fuck. Sorry, I didn't know you changed back here," Karkat said, a rosy blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.

"It's fine, Karkat. I don't mind you being back here." John continued to a locker at the very end of the isle. Karkat reluctantly began to take off his shirt, his right side facing John. He knew he shouldn't care, but for some reason he did. He stuffed his shirt in his locker, and reached for the wife beater on the bench when he heard the gasp.

"Oh my god, Karkat!" came John's hushed voice as he took in the sight of his bruises. John somehow felt responsible, and watched as his new friend winced visibly at his words.

"It's nothing, Egbert." Karkat was happy he couldn't see his scars. He pulled on the rest of his gym clothes in a hurry, and went out to the gym. He felt awkward in the clothes, the shorts baggy, and the shirt going down past his rear end. Most of the boys sniggered at his white skin, and the fine dark hair that covered his legs.

John came out last, and stood by Karkat, taking in the scar on his neck, and the fact it extended down onto the rest of his body. Karkat's collarbone jutted out, and his arms held muscular definition that was hidden inside the regular school uniform. John was only an inch taller than the boy to his left, and they shared a few more similarities, like black hair, and big eyes.

Dirk came out of his office-like cubby, and was holding a red rubber ball. "Today, we're playing mat ball. Basic rules you should all know, but we have a new kid so listen up. Mat ball is basically kick ball. You have 4 spaces, and have to run to each mat, that is base. You're safe on base, and you don't have to run each time. The entire mat can be covered in you kids for all I care. You have to run around the mats twice before you're safe. Last kicker means that everyone on the mats has to run. The mats aren't safe with last kicker, and the teams don't switch until the last person is hit, or home. It hits the ceiling, you're out, it hits the blue stripe on the wall, you get one free round, it hits above that blue stripe, and you get an automatic home run."

The rules were simple, and the explanation was simple as well. Karkat was given the option to sit out, but shook his head. He was already in this ridiculous outfit; why not make more of a mockery out of himself. The class was pretty large, about 40 kids, mostly guys.

Karkat was put on a team led by some guy with white hair, and shades named Dave. John was also the next pick, and noticed John punch the Dave kid in the arm. He shrugged, and stood, slouchy as always. The rest of the team was decided, with a few girls and guys amounting to 20.

Dave's team was kicking first, and Karkat managed to get himself in the position as last kicker.

 _"Great,"_ he thought, annoyance obviously on his face. He did find it beneficial, however, as he could observe how the other's played. Most ganged up on second base, so when they ran, they could use others as a shield. Karkat smirked, and moved up the line as more and more kids ran.

Five left, then four, then three, two, then it was him. Karkat stood at the home mat in all his pale, grouchy glory, and felt the corner of his mouth tugging up a tiny bit. He watched the ball roll closer and closer, and he punted it with his left foot. It went whizzing through the air, and landed near the empty back of the gym. Karkat was already running, and seemed to surprise everyone by how quick he was. He was on his second lap before most from second had reached home plate. The second lap had him jumping, and dodging as kid chucked the ball at him, and he reached home again, unscathed and barely winded.

"You're really fast, Karkat!" John exclaimed, he had been struck out pretty early when his glasses had fallen off. Dave nodded in approval, his shades not having moved a centimeter. Karkat shrugged, and took a random place near the back as the teams switched.

It went as quickly as the other team. Karkat only saw the ball fly at him once, and he caught it in midair, getting the kid who had kicked it out. Then it was their turn again. Karkat had earned a spot a few kids up from last kicker, and the cycle began again.

Karkat kicked the ball to the opposite back corner, and, again, took off running. He stopped at second base on his first lap, and decided to wait until last kicker. The last kicker was a tall, skinny girl, with short black hair, and bright red lips. She wore the gym clothes entirely too well for them to have been unaltered. Her name was Kanaya, and she smiled, and kicked the ball easily. Karkat took off running, and skidded around to his second lap.

He made it to third base, and was almost home when the ball hit him straight in the right ribs. The pain was crippling, and he sank to his knees from the dead run, skinning them as he slammed down against the gym floor.

"FUCK!" He shouted loudly, clutching at his side. John was there before anyone else had even moved, and then there was Dirk. John's hand was on Karkat's back as he wheezed in agony, his face twisted, and eyes clamped shut.

"You okay, Vantas?" asked Dirk, crouching down near Karkat's side.

"Fuck no, I just took a fucking ball to the ribs," He continued shouting.

"Stop being such a baby, it couldn't have hurt that bad!" someone called out, and John stood up angrily. Karkat's orange eyes opened, filled with rage, and he quickly lumbered to his feet. His hand pulled up the right side of his shirt, exposing the huge bruise, and some of the jagged scar.

"Fuck you." His hiss was tainted with violence, and some kids gasped at the side of the splotch on his body, while some gawked at the sheer paleness of the boy.

Karkat felt someone squeeze his arm when he tried to get closer to the guy who'd called him a baby. He glared back to Dirk Strider, whose poker face was enough to tell him to stop.

"Egbert, take Vantas to the nurse," he said blankly, all but shoving Karkat over to John.

"No, I'm fine. Don't take me to the fucking nurse," Karkat growled, glaring from John to Dirk. He detested nurses, or any sort of medical function.

"Well, then go do whatever." Strider shrugged casually, not seeming to care what the two did. Karkat shook his shaggy head, and stalked off to the changing room, arm over his torso. John followed suit, as he was desperate to befriend the boy. John found Karkat standing; shirt raised, in the shower area, cold, wet paper towels pressed to his side.

"Why are you following me? Didn't we have this conversation yesterday?" John paused at his questions, and shrugged his shoulders.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. You might not think it, but I see you as a friend. You took a pretty hard hit, and to a bruise at that." Karkat glared over his shoulder at John, trying to read what he was going to do next. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fucking fine."

"… Okay." John turned away reluctantly, getting the hint Karkat wanted to be alone. He went back out, standing near Dave, who looked at him with a weird grin.

"You totally have a man-crush," He said quietly, and John looked at him with confusion.

"We're friends, Dave. I would have done the same for you," John argued, and Dave nodded in smug agreement.

"Guess you would, but that sentimental crap is totally not cool." John smiled at his friend, whose freckled cheeks remained poker faced, and arms crossed across his chest.

Karkat remained in the locker room, holding cold towels to his side, for the rest of class. He changed before everyone else came into the locker room, and sat with a book propped open on his lap. The dust jacket read "The Hunger Games", but on the inside was a sappy romance novel. He had learned long ago to cover his books with more mainstream book covers. The rest of the boys came in and changed, and Karkat left the locker room at that point, going and waiting by the big doors to the hallway.

The bell rang, and Karkat made his way to his Chemistry class, slipping into a seat in the back of the room, and pulling out another red binder. Professor English sat at the head of the room, and Karkat noticed Kanaya file in, and take a seat next to a platinum blonde girl, whose tote bag overflowed with school supplies, and knitting needles. More and more students filed in, eventually filling up every seat.

Professor English began going over the periodic table, and after a while, Karkat zoned out, staring at his notebook as he doodled a giraffe. He was almost done coloring in the spots when the bell rang, and his head shot up quickly, surprised on how quickly an hour could go when drawing giraffes.

Karkat walked out of the classroom, and met Gamzee in the hallway, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, and he had two bottles of Faygo in his bag. They walked together quietly.

"Oh hey, is it cool if we sit by some people I know today?" In reply to the question, Gamzee let out a honking laugh, and nodded.

"Alright, best friend. Let's go chill with these motherfuckers." Gamzee's voice suited him well, and the two boys, one short, and one tall, made their way to the cafeteria.

Karkat made quick work of finding John, and led his best friend over, sitting down between the two. John gave his glamorous, bucktooth smile at them both, and after a few minuets, Dave sat down, followed by the blonde girl from his Chemistry class.

"Hey, motherfuckers," Gamzee smiled, opening a bottle of his soda. Karkat pulled out a bag of cheetos from his messenger bag, and popped them open, taking a cheesy puff and crunching down on it.

"You must be Gamzee Makara, and Karkat Vantas?" The blonde girl's question was barely asked, as she seemed absorbed in her knitting.

"Yeah, just don't get us confused. Clown-ass here is Gamzee," Karkat said as he held the cheetos over to his friend. Gamzee let his honking laugh loose again, and Dave just stared at the giant boy. Reddened eyes met cool shades.

"Bro, are you high? That is so not cool," came Dave's smooth voice. The laughter stopped, and Gamzee looked at Karkat to explain. The friend sighed in annoyance.

"Gamzee is always high, it mellows him out. He's a fucking lunatic without it," he grunted quietly, rubbing his forehead. "The school knows about it, and that's the only real reason he's here."

"Well, anyway, I'm Rose Lalonde, it's a pleasure to meet you two." Rose's face remained concentrated on her knitting, and John just sat quietly.

"Hey, Egbert, why are you so quiet. You asked us to sit here, are you just gonna make us feel fucking awkward?" Karkat turned to level John off with those big orange eyes. Karkat popped another cheeto in his mouth, still staring John down, who refused to look away.

"I can do this all day, Egbert," he said smugly, his eyebrows rising.

"Right, sorry. Well, you already met Dave Strider today in Gym, an-"

"Strider? You mean like Dirk Strider? Our gym teacher?"

"I'm his little bro. Not even ironically," Dave said, taking a swig of his apple juice.

Apple.

That reminded Karkat, and he quickly dug through his bag, pulling out a little rectangular cardboard box, and handing it to Gamzee.

"Thought you'd like one, so you wouldn't eat all my fucking cheetos." Gamzee's face lit up into a wide smile as he opened the box with the fruit pie inside.

"I knew there was a reason you were my best motherfuckin' friend." More laughter, this time from all around the table, except from Karkat. He felt a little awkward sitting there, and the only reason he could bare it was because Gamzee was there. He felt stifled with the others there, and his shoulders hunched up. He continued to eat his cheetos, listening to Dave and Gamzee talk about miracles, and pies, and irony. John nudged Karkat, and he felt a small piece of paper squish into his hand. Karkat quickly opened and read it.

_"you okay?"_

Karkat looked at John and shrugged his hunched up shoulders, he saw Rose observing him silently, black lips pursed slightly in thought. He looked back to his bag of cheetos, and continued eating the cheesy junk food.

"You like cheetos, huh, Vantas?" Karkat looked over to the boy who wore the round sunglasses.

"Yeah, what the fuck of it? I might just happen to fucking love cheesy shit," Karkat said holding up a cheese-powder coating middle finger, causing a low chuckle from John, and a honk from Gamzee.

The rest of lunch was spent chatting casually, with some Freudian wisdom from Rose. When the bell rang, Karkat again gave short goodbyes, and headed off with Gamzee to his next class.

Luckily, Karkat managed to have his last 4 classes with Gamzee. He made sure to stick close by his friend. They were a spectacle, those two, one tall, broad, and always smiling, and the other short, hunched, and nose crinkled in an annoyed fashion. They seemed to be polar opposites in every way, but Karkat almost involuntarily clung to Gamzee while they were together.

The last four hours seemed to drawl out for way longer than it was, Karkat continued doodling Giraffes, while Gamzee just kinda sat there staring at the teachers like they were pretty lights. This school wasn't as bad as Karkat would have expected.


	4. Chapter 4

John was relaxing on the couch, Con Air playing on the television, when Dave sank down next to him.

"I don't like that Vantas kid."

The sentence hung in the air, simmering, then John's head turned slowly to look at his best friend.

"What do you mean? I think he's pretty cool." The dorky smile showed honesty behind his words. Dave shrugged his shoulders in response.

"He might have saved your ass, but he just seems… finicky. Like, I don't know, I just don't get a good feeling from him. I don't trust him."

"Dave, Karkat seems like a good guy. Give him a chance." John turned back to his movie. Dave got up after a few minuets, leaving the living room and slamming his bedroom door. John sighed. He felt bad, like he'd let them both down. He stood up, turned off the TV, and scribbled a quick note.

"went out for a walk. see you later."

He tugged on his shoes, and walked out of his dorm room, feeling relieved to get out of the cramped space. He smiled to himself as he thought about the Smuppets he had hidden in Dave's closet. It the greatest prank. John jogged down the stairs to the freedom of the campus. There was a park-like place at the very center, with an old swing set. John made that his destination. He walked along alone, whistling the Ghostbusters's theme song while kicking a stone along the path.

He came to the clearing, then paused when he saw another figure sitting on the swings. They were wearing a black hoodie and gray jeans, hunched over in a little ball, one hand wrapped around the swing's chain, feet kicking the swing in a steady sway. A stick cracked underneath John's feet, and the figure looked up, milky white skin easily identifiable.

Karkat scrubbed his face on his sleeve, and John approached slowly, taking careful steps.

"Hey, Karkat. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, dumbass." Karkat's voice seemed to quaver, and John planted his butt in the swing next to him.

"You okay?" he asked, noticing the flip-phone clutched tightly in his friends hand.

"I'm fucking fine," Karkat replied, head bent down, and old tear tracks stained his skin.

"No you're not, Karkat. What's wrong?"

The question made Karkat feel queasy, he didn't know how to respond to the blue-eyed boy that actually seemed to care. He didn't understand why he took such an interest in John, or why John took an interest in him. Karkat shoved his hands deep in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie, and looked down.

"It's a family problem. Or, lack of family problem," mumbled the boy in the baggy sweatshirt.

"I've had some family issues myself. It helps to talk, really. I know you don't know me that well, but I consider you a friend, and I hope you think of me the same way." John's hand placed itself on Karkat's shoulder, and wide orange eyes met blue puppy dog ones.

"My family is pretty fucked up, and it kind of explains the fuck-up child that's been spat onto this earth," Karkat paused, not sure how to venture onto the subject. "My dad's a truck driver. He's not home a lot, so it's kind of a fucking miracle I got into this school, being as I'm pretty fucking stupid. I'm sure it's only because I can control Gamzee. Anyway, so my dad drives trucks, and makes a decent salary at that. Some shit happened when I was 12, and my dad's never really looked at me the same. He just called me and told me he found some woman in Alabama, and he's fucking staying there with her."

"What about your mom?"

John just asked something that crossed the line. He hadn't even told Gamzee, his best friend since 12, about his mom. Karkat found himself standing.

"I'm done fucking talking. I've spewed enough of my shitty, worthless life onto you to make anyone insane. Why the hell haven't you realized I'm not worth being a friend to? I can't do anything right!" Karkat's voice started quietly, but had risen into a shout. Before John could react, conversed feet were running down the path, just as quick as they had this morning.

All John could do was call after his friend, concerned about him. There was no sign Karkat was going to stop, so John hung his head and sighed as he began walking back to the Derse House dorm. The moment he opened the door, a soft orange smuppet butt smacked into his cheek, knocking his glasses off.

"Totally not cool, Egbert," Dave said, poker faced, smuppets in his hands. His hands were on his hips, and his hips cocked, and John just stared for a few minutes, taking in the stance of his best friend. John began to laugh the kind of laugh that hurt after a while. He couldn't take his friend seriously like this.

"What the hell, John?"

"You. You look- you look like a sassy black woman," hooted John, clutching his aching stomach tightly.

"Maybe I am a sassy black woman," Dave said, a smile breaking his poker face for only a millisecond. "Maybe I don't need no man." That was enough to send John into another fit of giggles, and he fell onto the couch with a thwump. He felt Dave sit down next to him. He looked to see the white haired boy studying a plush in his hand.

"Do you ever take off your sunglasses, Dave?"

"Not a chance. Not for sleep, not for showers, not even if I was in a cave. The shades stay."

"Why, though? It's not like you need them…" John trailed off, watching the freckled cheeks tense as Dave clenched his teeth.

"I do. Need them, that is. Ever wonder why my hair is white?" John felt his gaze go up to the hair of his friend.

"Not really, I just thought it was cool."

"I'm an albino, or pretty close to it. My eyes are really sensitive to light, and a funky color. They're pretty creepy, even if nobody else has that color." Dave's breath released in a sharp grunt, and his fist squeezed around the smuppet.

"What color are they, Dave? It can't be that weird," John said encouragingly, eyes squinting in a smile.

"Maybe one day I'll show you them." Dave stood up without another word, the stuffed animal in his hand squished tightly. "'Night, Egbert. Get some rest."

John was left alone on the sofa again. He looked at his shoes, which he'd forgotten to take off. He studied the small bits of grass and dirt that clung to the fabric, then nudged them off his feet.

Why is everything suddenly changing…? John questioned in his mind, thinking about the past few days. Everything was changing, and he didn't like it.

Back in Void House, Karkat sat with his head in his hands.

"I'm such a fucking idiot. Why'd I even tell him anything?" Karkat grumbled aloud, and a soft knock came at his door. Gamzee usually wasn't one for privacy, so when Karkat opened the door to find his tall friend, he found himself puzzled.

"Hey, motherfucker," his friend said, now inviting himself into the small room Karkat inhabited. He sat down on his bed, and looked up at Karkat with striking indigo eyes. "You seem down in the dumps, best friend. I think you need a miracle," Karkat felt himself being pulled into a hug, and stood ridged as his best friend embraced him.

"What the actual fuck, Gamzee."

"Everyone needs a hug now and then, man." Karkat was soon released, a wide smile was splayed across Gamzee's face. Karkat couldn't help but smile back. Gamzee left the room, happy he could get that rare smile from his best friend.

The next days went easily for everybody. Karkat and Gamzee sat with John and his gang everyday at lunch, and Dave even seemed to be warming up to the grumpy boy that had wormed his way into John's friendship.

Saturday morning found Karkat sleeping on his small bed, upper torso gripping precariously to the edge of the bed. His face bruise had almost healed, and only a slightly reddish yellow splotch remained to show any of the damage that had been done. His ribs, on the other hand, were much worse for wear. His gray cover was wrapped around him, and only his poofy hair and arm hung out, and over the side of his bed.

Suddenly Adele began blaring, and Karkat awoke as he crashed into his floor, face first. He lay there, neck bent back, and arms barely holding him off the ground. Once he realized it was his cell phone, he hauled himself back into a sitting position.

He checked the clock. It was 11am. He then looked at the unfamiliar number on his screen.

_We could have had it all!_

_Rolling in the deep!_

_You had my heart inside of your hand_

_And you playe-_

He decided to flip open the phone; he never knew who it could be.

"Hey bro," a derpy voice exclaimed, and Karkat's brows knitted together.

"Egbert? What the fuck? How did you get my number?"

"Um, you gave it to me yesterday at lunch. Did you forget that quickly?" John's laugh sounded the same through the phone. Karkat, still groggy, tried to remember, vaguely recalling scribbling out his number, and giving it to his friend.

"Oh yeah… shit, do you even know what time it is?" Karkat mumbled angrily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I was going to ask you the same thing! It's 11! Were you still sleeping?"

"Yeah, dumbass. It's Saturday, and I tend to like not waking up until a reasonable 2 in the afternoon." His voice wasn't that angry, more tired than anything.

"Oh, well I was wondering if you and Gamzee wanted to go out with Dave and I? We're going to the mall near-"

"The hospital. I know where it is. But I don't know... Gamzee usually doesn't wake up until 5 or 6, and I've been neglecting my practice…" Karkat trailed off, looking at the black case by his closet.

"Practice? What practice?" John seemed intrigued, so Karkat decided to humor him.

"I… play some instruments…" Karkat let out a huff of air, and stood up, stretching his right side, and wincing as his bruised skin tugged uncomfortably.

"Really? Me too! So does Rose! What do you play?" John's excitement could almost be tasted through the phone. Karkat rubbed his hair down, trying to contain the insane amount of volume it accumulated overnight.

"Violin, Harp, and Piano. Not much, I'm not very good at it," Karkat grunted, finally picking up a comb and raking it through his jet-black hair.

"Wow! I play piano, too! That's crazy! I understand if you don't want to come today. I usually practice after school in the music room during the week," John said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, so I don't really know if I'll be around. I don't like to leave Gamzee alone for too long... See you at school, Egbert." He flipped his phone closed, and then opened it again, quickly saving John's number.

Karkat walked to the bathroom, towel slung over his shoulder, and closed the door, eager to shower. He turned the pod-shower's water into the burning hot temperatures. He stripped out of his red boxers, and hopping into the steaming water, closing the door, and relaxing into the hot stream of water. The volume that had been so annoying only a few moments ago fled, almost scared, and left black hair flat, and stringy. His bangs reached the tops of his cheekbones, and tip of his nose.

He knew Gamzee was still asleep, so as he rubbed his hair with shampoo, he opened his mouth and started singing. The first song to pop into his head was his ring tone, and soon "Rolling in the Deep" was being sung loudly through bubbles, and the shower of water. He didn't even really care if Gamzee heard him or not, it was nothing new to his best friend.

Karkat rinsed the frothy lather from his head, and squeezed and handful of conditioner into his palm, slicking his hair, and he started a new song with it.

_"Let's have some fun_

_This beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride on your discostick."_

Lady Gaga's catchy lyrics were soon being born from the lungs of a 16 year old with more talent that given credit. Karkat scrubbed his body, careful to avoid the huge bruise, and let the water wash off the stress from the past school days. He continued to stand in the water long after all the soapy residue had slipped down the drain. And another hour passed with him just standing.

When Karkat emerged, and dried himself off, Gamzee still wasn't awake. It was only getting close to 1pm, and Karkat got dressed in his usual gray skinny jeans and black shirt. He went into the kitchen area, grabbing a bag of cheese Sun-Chips, and he returned to the living room.

He closed the curtains, and dimmed the lights before cuddling up in a fuzzy blanket on the couch. Karkat turned on the TV and DVD player, pressing 'Play' as "The Notebook" flashed onto the screen. He had a long time before Gamzee would wake up. He dug into the chips.

A few miles away...

John walked next to Dave in the mall, the neatly polished floors scattered with screaming children, and fellow teenagers.

"Yo, Egbert, your eye looks better," Dave observed, his hands deep in black skinny jean pockets. It was true, and John pressed a fingertip to the delicate skin under his eye, which was only slightly discolored now, and no swelling remained. "You never told me who did it." John stopped, causing Dave to turn; sunglasses reflecting his face back at him.

"I… You wouldn't believe me, Dave. It's not important anyway," John stammered out, his friend's face remained blank.

"I have a pretty good idea who did it. Let me guess, it was Eridan and Equius?" John's hands stopped fidgeting, and Dave nodded. "Vriska told me that Vantas put them both in the hospital. I didn't know, dude, I'm sorry I let them do that shit to you."

"Dave, you couldn't have known! It's fine," John reassured, smiling at his freckle-faced friend. They continued through the mall, stopping at various stores, and John making sure Dave didn't feel bad.

At 6pm, Gamzee emerged from his room, eyes half closed with sleep. "Hey, motherfuckin' best friend…" He said, voice raspy and he bumped into the counters in the kitchen more than once. Karkat unwrapped himself from his blanket, and turned off the movie he had been watching.

"You okay, Gamzee?"

"Naw, man. Out of my stuff." Karkat's eyes went wide, and he knew by stuff Gamzee didn't mean fruit pies.

"Shit, man, we have to-"

"Already on it." Gamzee held a finger up to his pink lips, his face not painted, and a phone was held to his ear, His eyes glinted with something different. "Yo, man, what's up? Yeah, I can meet you there. Sure. Mhmm, see you in a bit, motherfucker." The conversation was short, and gave little information. "I'll be back in a little while."

Karkat nodded to his friend's back as he walked out the door. Karkat knew he was going to get more pot, the indigo eyes he had seen only a few minuets before stung with hatred, and something almost evil. Gamzee knew how to take care of himself, and Karkat made a mental note to pick up more Faygo for his best friend, even though he hated the soda himself.

Karkat stood up and went into the kitchen, pulling out random things along with a few pots and pans. He was quite an accomplished cook, but hated receiving compliments on his dishes. Karkat heard the front door open a few minuets later, and Gamzee strode into the kitchen, a blunt already in the process of being smoked.

"What do you want for dinner, Gamzee?" Karkat asked, turning to his friend who was staring at him. "What?"

"Nothin' best friend. You're just so awesome to me. Everyone else thinks I'm a freak," Gamzee felt a sad smile cross his face, and Karkat merely gazed back.

"Everyone thought I was a fucking freak too, Gamzee, so maybe we are. Even if we are damn freaks, we're still best friends. So what the fuck do you want for dinner?" Karkat turned back to the fridge, and let Gamzee peer inside.

"We have that stuff to make motherfuckin' tacos? I'm feelin' tacos," Gamzee looked around, but got distracted by the fridge light, which was starting to flicker.

"Yeah, I have the stuff. Now go smoke your pot somewhere else, I don't want to burn the food." Karkat's arms were occupied with ingredients, and he nudged Gamzee away with his foot. Gamzee's honking laugh followed him into the living room, and Karkat began mixing things together for their tacos.

Ever since Karkat had known Gamzee, he had known he loved tacos. Gamzee loved tacos, and Faygo, and sometimes that was the only thing Karkat knew for certain.


	5. Chapter 5

For Karkat, the weekend went by in a flash of music practice, making Gamzee food, and a few romance novels nearly making him forget his homework. Monday rolled around, and Karkat found himself at John's locker as usual.

"The two guys you beat up are back from the hospital," John said quietly as he placed his books on the top shelf of his locker. He was one of the few who didn't keep a bag with him. "Equius and Eridan are their names, and I think you already met Vriska…" John seemed very disappointed, or almost sheepish.

"Yeah, I don't think we'll be getting along too well, me and those three," Karkat said, leaning back against the locker next to John's. "Sorry I couldn't make it on Saturday. Maybe this weekend I'll be able too. You said the music room is open to practice after school?" John felt Karkat's eyes watching him, and turned to look his friend.

"Yeah! Today, and Thursday. Why don't you come down today? We could practice together!" John's bucktoothed grin flashed for a second, but disappeared in a moment, his body going stiff.

"What's wrong, Egbe-" Karkat was shoved into the metal frame of the locker, a beefy hand holding his neck. His head was spinning, and he could feel the warm trickle of blood run down his back. His eyes were foggy, but he could make out the figures of Equius and Eridan.

"Hey, Kar," Eridan smirked, the way he abbreviated Karkat's name made the pinned boy confused. "Thanks for all your help last week."

"No problem, dumbass. I'm always ready to help in that way." He was jerked, head hitting against the locker again. Suddenly the weight was off Karkat's throat and he took a much-needed gulp of air as he sank to the floor. John stood between Equius, and himself.

"Leave him alone."

The voice was commanding, and held a bite Karkat couldn't imagine John having. Equius laughed something gruesome, but Eridan scoffed.

"Leave them be, Equius. Looks like Egderp has to protect his little boyfriend." The laughter that ensued as they walked away made Karkat ball his fists.

"Fuck, why did you do that, Egbert? You know I can handle myself," growled Karkat, his eyes angry.

"You were turning purple, Karkat..." John explained, helping Karkat up, much in the same way Karkat had helped him. John noticed the red stream going down Karkat's pale neck, and gasped.

"Huh? What? What the fuck is wrong?"

"Your head's bleeding!" John exclaimed, and Karkat touched the back of his head, and examined his hand as it came away bloody.

"So it is… Huh." Karkat felt a hand tighten around his arm, and he looked up at his friend.

"You need to see the nurse!" John pressured, looking at the blood on his friend's hand. It seemed redder than normal.

"No. Fuck no. I hate doctors. I hate nurses. I hate all that shit," Karkat snarled, jerking his arm out of John's grip. "I hate them, okay? So, just… I'm fine." He stormed off towards the nearest boy's bathroom, one hand stuck to the back of his head.

John, again, could only watch as Karkat walked away. He clenched his fists and charged into the bathroom after Karkat. John found Karkat holding balled up toilet paper to the back of his head, his body hunched up, and… he was… humming?

Karkat was humming his favorite song, along with the sound of his racing heartbeat filled his ears. So when he felt a hand touch his shoulder, he turned, fist raised, and only managed to stop a few inches before John's face. Shock was written all over John's expression, and Karkat dropped his arm limply.

"What the hell? How long have you been here? Why even are you here?" Karkat felt a blush rushing to his cheeks as he growled to his friend.

"I was worried! Karkat, the back of your head is bleeding. I can't even tell how bad it us under all that poofy hair!" Those buckteeth flashed another smile, causing Karkat to relax.

"Dammit. Don't call my hair poofy," Karkat groaned, tossing the bloody tissue in the trash.

"Am I going to hurt it's feelings?" John said sarcastically. Karkat scoffed in return. "...Hey, Karkat?"

"What, Egbert?"

"What's that? Behind your ear?" Karkat gave John a confused look, but the bespectacled boy reached out, and mused in his hair next to his slightly elfin ear. John's hand came away holding fresh tissue. Karkat gawked.

"You can do magic? What the fuck?" Karkat's eyes went from the tissue, to John's face, and back again, before John put the white cloth in his friend's hand.

"Clean up, okay? You have Roxy first right?" Karkat nodded. "Okay, I'll swing by and tell her what's up." The bell had rung minutes before, making them both late to class. But if anyone could convince a teacher out of punishment, it was John and his millionaire smile.

Karkat stayed in the bathroom, wiping away the blood from his neck and hair. He gently lifted up the layers of black, and looked in the mirror at the thin gash that ran horizontally along his scalp. It wasn't deep, but it certainly had bled a lot. He took small pieces of tissue, and pressed it to the gash, much like a person who had cut their face shaving would. His hair flopped back down over it, covering the makeshift bandage, and he headed out of the bathroom.

Once he reached Roxy's classroom, he paused outside the door. Karkat took a deep breath, and opened the metal door slowly, drawing attention from the entire class.

"Karkat, John came and told me whas-wha-what happened. So, juss' go ahead, and sidown," Roxy slurred from her podium. He took his seat, and pulled out his binder. Roxy seemed especially drunk that morning.

Roxy blabbered on about random things, seeming to evade English as if her life depended on it. Karkat paid little attention to the inebriated teacher, focusing more on the dull throbbing coming from the back of his head. He hoped he hadn't left blood on the locker, or hadn't dented the door too much. There was dried blood under his otherwise uniform nails, which Karkat made a face at. He pushed out the lead to his mechanical pencil, and carefully cleaned the crust from underneath.

Karkat scooted along to gym class, dreading seeing John again. When he made it to the gymnasium, Dirk stood with a plastic pink flamingo under his arm, completely casual.

"Is that a flamingo?" It was less of a question, more of a statement. Dirk glanced at Karkat from behind his shades.

"Reminds me of my hair," The tall, blonde man said. His hair in no way resembled a pink plastic flamingo, but Karkat just went ahead into the locker room without another word. He didn't understand the Striders.

Karkat went back to where he and John usually changed, and he carefully removed his clothes. His bruised ribs were still a raging purple curtain over his white skin, but the pain had mostly gone away, now only a residual heat radiated from the bruise. He pulled on his gym clothes, and met John's eye.

"How's your head feel?" John asked, pulling on his shirt.

"Better. Not by much, but better. My ribs are healing, though, so I'm pretty happy about that." Karkat propped his foot on the bench to retie his black converse while he answered John.

"That's good. We're playing dodge ball today. We always play dodge ball on  
Mondays," John warned with another smile, pushing his glasses far up on his nose.

"God, Egbert, you can't keep those things on your face," Karkat said, a low, soft chuckle emanating from his lungs. It was the first time John had heard Karkat laugh, and he stared at his friend who was tying his shoes.

John's eyes traveled Karkat's face, noticing the small, slightly turned up nose, and subtle overbite. He had cheekbones so defined they could cut someone, and eyelashes so long it shouldn't even be legal. His eyes were rimmed with dark purple circles, making it seem like he was sleepy. Karkat's orange eyes angled upwards slightly at the outer corners, elongating the lids sharply. John couldn't help but think Karkat was kinda pretty.

They left the locker room with Dave, who explained that Dirk thought his hair looked like a flamingo when the bird had its head down. John and Karkat both studied the teacher, trying to compare the spiked blonde hair with the pink plastic lawn ornament tucked in his armpit.

"We're playing dodge ball today. So Egbert, Vantas, opposite sides, pick your teams," Dirk grinned, and John walked to the opposite side of the large gym. "Vantas first pick."

"Kanaya," he said simply, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Dave," John said, and the white haired boy walked over to his best friend. Karkat had yet to learn names, so picking teams was formed with a bunch of 'you's and pointing. Again, twenty-twenty split, and Karkat stood smirking at John.

"Prepare to get royally destroyed, Egbert," he warned, arms crossing over his chest.

The foam dodge balls were lined up in the center, with Karkat crouched by Kanaya. His shoe squeaked as the whistle chirped, charging forward. He grabbed the two closest balls, and Kanaya grabbed the two next to them.

Retreating back, Karkat threw one of the foamy spheres, and it made impact with Dave. The boy looked at his leg where the ball had hit, shrugged, and walked over to the front of the gym to sit down.

Karkat and Kanaya both charged forward, hands raised, then… suddenly…

_"Ano koustanten de minna ga moshi skip wo shite_

_Moshi ano machi no mannaka de tewo tsunaide sora wo miagetara_

_Moshimo ano machi no dokoka de chance ga tsuamitai no nara_

_Mada naku no ni wa hayai yo ne tada me ni susumu shika nai way iya iya."_

The whole room seemed to freeze as the lyrics to "PonPon" started blasting in the gym. Heads all turned to Dirk, who stood holding his plastic flamingo lovingly. His lips moved slightly with the lyrics, and Kanaya took the opportunity to smash some poor suckers stomach with the ball in her hand. Karkat started to snicker as the boy doubled over, and chucked his at another classmate.

All hell broke loose. Multicolored foam dodge balls were flying all over the gym, kids were being hit left and right, and Dirk was singing J-Pop to a plastic flamingo.

The battle was long fought, with kids reentering and getting out every few seconds. Karkat saw a green ball fly at his head, and a long arm jerked it right before it smashed into him. Kanaya gave a small nod and a sideways smile before hurling it into the onslaught. Karkat scooped up more ammunition, and pitched in.

Both teams stood decimated, one remained on the opposite team. John Egbert. Karkat and Kanaya, the only two left on their team, wound up, and sent two cherry red spheres into John's body. He was lifted off the ground by the force of impact, and flattened against the ground, glasses flying off in the process.

Kanaya looked at Karkat, and Karkat looked at Kanaya. They raised two fists, and brought them together in a mutual bro fist.

Karkat slid up next to John at lunch, and Gamzee worked his long legs under the short table.

"You have a mean arm, Vantas," Dave said cooly, nodding at the boy wrestling a bag of cheese popcorn open.

"That's for sure! Karkat, you and Kanaya dominate! I hope we can be on the same team next time," Rose looked up at the mention of Kanaya.

"Kanaya's in your gym class?"

"Yeah, she happens to be a wicked dodge ball player, too," Karkat said pulling out a fist full of popcorn.

"She's my girlfriend, I'm surprised you knew her," Rose said before turning back to a psychology book.

"Oh," was all Karkat could manage, so he tilted the mouth of the bag to John. "Popcorn?"

John looked at Karkat for a second, before reaching in and taking a few kernels.

"Hey, best friend. I met someone cool today, his name's Tavros. He's in a motherfucking wheel chair. I gotta share a table with him in art class," Gamzee said with a spaced out smile. He reached into the pocket of his hoodie, and brought out a folded up piece of paper, and handed it to Karkat.

"What the fuck is this, Gamzee?" Karkat asked, opening up the parchment, which had macaroni glued to it.

"No, man, you got it turned all wrong," Gamzee reached over, and turned the paper, displaying the signature clown face, and a little heart next to it. Karkat's mouth tugged up in a smile for a moment, and he looked at Gamzee.

"Thanks, Gamzee, this might be a meaningless piece of shit to some, but its good." Gamzee honked in retort, and they continued their lunch.

Long in the future, but not too long

After running to the dorms to grab his violin, Karkat walked into the music room to the sound of piano. He stood quietly in the doorway, watching John's fingers move over the keys, and a soft humming coming from his lips. Karkat knew the tune, and tried to place it in his music memory bank.

An invisible light bulb went off, and Karkat ruined the moment by shouting out, "HEY JUDE!" John stopped playing, turned, and blushed deeply.

"You heard that? Sorry, I.. um," stumbling on his words, John pushed his glasses far up his nose.

"John, that's awesome!" exclaimed Karkat, putting his violin case down on a chair. John's eyes watched as his friends pale fingers opened the latches, and produced a gorgeous violin. He brought it up under his chin, and held the bow carefully. Orange eyes met blue.

"You know Viva La Vida?"

"By Coldplay?"

"Yeah."

"Of course."

"Let's jam."

John slid back up to his instrument, and Karkat began playing the first notes, quickly joined in by the tinkling keys of the grand piano. The song sounded great between the two playing. When the plateau came for the lyrics, Karkat opened his mouth a little, and began to sing.

_"I used to rule the world._

_Seas would rise when I gave the word._

_Now in the morning I sleep alone._

_Sweep the streets I used to own."_

Karkat's voice was soft, and a little bit raspy, but amazingly sweet to listen to. John looked down for a moment, then back up.

_"I used to roll the dice._

_Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes._

_Listen as the crowd would sing_

_'The old king is dead! Long live the king'!"_

Karkat looked up as John sang the next verse. Low, and calming, much like the singer of Coldplay, Karkat was enchanted. It was Karkat's turn to sing, so he began, careful to keep playing the violin.

_"One minute I held the key._

_Next the walls were closed on me._

_And I discovered my castles stand,_

_On pillars of salt, and pillars of sand."_

They both joined together for the chorus, singing loudly, and not caring who heard them.

_"I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing_

_Roman Calvary choirs are singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword, and shield,_

_My missionaries in a foreign field._

_For some reason I can't explain_

_Once you go there was never_

_Never an honest word_

_And that's when I ruled the world."_

They both continued singing in harmony, Karkat's higher voice complimenting John's deep one. When the song was finished, and the last notes played, they met each others eyes with shy smiles.

"That was awesome, Karkat. I didn't know you could sing," John said in a voice a little more than a whisper.

"I could say the same for you, dumbass." Karkat's smile betrayed his harsh language, and both fell to bits in quiet laughter. "You're not too bad, Egbert," he said, sitting next to him on the piano bench.

"I have the feeling this will be the start of a beautiful friendship."


	6. Chapter 6

It was, indeed, the start of a beautiful friendship. Karkat and John bonded quickly, having petty arguments over movies, and eventually coming to the agreement that Will Smith was one of the best people in the universe. By Wednesday, it was obvious John was itching for another music session.

"Sorry, Egbert, I have important stuff to do today," Karkat sighed while John closed his locker. The trio of bullies had yet to bother them again, but fleeting rumors heard in the hallways could easily be traced back to them.

"It's okay, Karkat. Maybe you could come over to our dorm sometime over the weekend? I have a piano in there, too," John said, his face falling a little bit at the disappointing news.

"Sure, what house are you in?"

"Derse, and you?"

"Void. Not like anybody ever really comes to hang out," Karkat chuckled, "I keep the place pretty tidy. Gamzee can't fucking clean up after himself for the life of him."

"Oh, you're rooming with Gamzee?" John probed, trying to slowly weasel information from him.

"Yeah, trust me, I had to plead my case. Gamzee's a super genius, basically, but his past is… well it's worse than anyone I've ever known's, so he's kinda…" Karkat twirled his finger by his head, using the basic sign for crazy.

"And what's the big deal with that?"

"I'm the only person that can control him when he's sobered up." Karkat's eyes narrowed on John. He glanced down at his phone, which lay open in his palm. "We should get to class."

"See you in gym," John gave his classic smile. Karkat raised a hand in return. They went their separate ways to their classes, Karkat slipping into Roxy's room right before the bell. He took his seat quickly, and watched from the corner of his eye as his teacher took a swig from a bottle in a bag. She then made her way up to the wooden podium at the front of the class, and continued to stare the class down for a good 5 minutes.

Karkat listened half-heartedly at Roxy's bumbling sermon, and was instead making a small list of songs he and John could play during their jam sessions. He started doodling a zebra in the bottom corner of his paper, and glanced up from time to time, to make it seem like he was taking notes.

The hour went by longer than usual, so Karkat was relieved when the flat-toned bell rang outside in the corridors. He packed up his stuff, and headed out, and up to gym.

Dirk had no flamingo today, nor was there J-pop blasting, causing Karkat to eye his teacher up and down peculiarly. He went to change, and made small talk with Dave and John. They talked about a meeting time to practice, and they decided on Saturday at 3.

They played mat ball again, and this time Karkat managed to run every lap without incident. The minutes ticked by quickly, seeming to only be a short while before Dirk blew his whistle, signaling it to be time to change.

"What's that thing you're doing tonight, anyways, Karkat?" John asked his friend as they stripped down in the chilly locker room.

"I'm visiting someone important to me… really, really important. I do it every Wednesday. I have for 4 years," Karkat explained, shoving his rather large feet through the small leg holes of his skinny jeans. John wore the pinstripe pants.

"Oh. Why do you wear jeans with your uniform?"

"You're full of fucking questions today, aren't you Egbert? They didn't have pants short enough to fit me. Or small enough for that matter, I can barely find pants that fit at all," he scoffed, securing his red tie around his thin neck. His fingers brushed the scar on his left side of a moment, and he shivered, thankful John had yet to see him full front on view. His scars were wicked, and brutal, and were difficult for even himself to look at.

John and Karkat walked together down the hallway until Karkat went to his chemistry class. He took his usual corner seat and took out his homework. He looked down at his writing, all large and bolded and capital. He typed the majority of his work at his old school, but when he did write by hand, it was always in capitals. Karkat sighed, and looked around seeing Rose's head turned toward him. He raised his hand in a quiet hello, and she nodded in return.

Rose was a genius, equal to Gamzee, but not insane. She loved psychology, and knitting, and obviously Kanaya, as when the tall girl walked in, Rose's face lit up slightly. Karkat looked back to his homework, and watched as feet shuffled in and to their seats.

Professor English walked around, collecting the sheets of paper assigned the previous day, and began the new lesson on protons. He wore a faded green jacket over a white tee shirt, and plain black pants. He had glasses, and looked remarkably like an older version of John. Karkat paid particularly close attention to him once he saw the resemblance. They had different last names, but could they possibly be related?

 _No,_ Karkat thought, _there's no way Egbert is related to English._

Karkat was lost in thought when the lunch bell rang, jerking his back to reality. He quickly put his belongings in his bag, including the half finished homework sheet English had passed out.

Karkat went to meet Gamzee and saw him standing next to a boy in a motorized wheelchair. The boy's hair was a sandy brown, shaved in a Mohawk, and that's all Karkat could tell from the back. He walked up slowly, unsure of how to greet Tavros.

"Uh… Hi. You must be Karkat," the boy said when Karkat came into view. His skin was a light tan, and eyes dark brown.

"Yeah, hi." The greeting was short, and Karkat looked at Gamzee expectantly.

"He doesn't mean to be mean, motherfucker," Gamzee said to Tavros. "He's just that way." Karkat rolled his eyes, and the three of them continued onto the cafeteria. Once there, Tavros split from the pod to go sit with a few friends of his, and Gamzee gave Karkat a look that asked if he could go to. Karkat nodded, and went, alone, to go sit with the three other students.

"Where's Gamzee going?" John asked, looking at Karkat as he thunked down.

"He's going to sit with Tavros today. He's a big boy, he can fucking do what he wants," Karkat explained, but he clenched his teeth after that statement, silently betraying his calm demeanor. John looked over to find Gamzee's flippy hair in the crowd, but gave up when Dave sat down.

"Where's the tall one?" His poker face was perfect, and the bottle of apple juice in his hand was quickly brought to his lips. Karkat glanced over to the white haired, freckled friend, and shrugged.

"He's sitting with his new friend for a change. He doesn't have to stick to me like fucking glue," he explained, yet again.

"That's okay, now we get more quality time with you!" John said excitedly, throwing his arm around Karkat and pulling him into an awkward, one sided hug, making Karkat's face turn a bright shade of pink. He pushed out of the embrace quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"Warn me before you do something like that…" Karkat's face was bright pink, and looked a little sad. John frowned a little, and Rose had yet to say a word. She sat observing, and Dave just drank his juice.

"Um… okay? Sorry." John looked down at the gooey pizza, and Karkat fished a bag of cheetos from his pack.

"It's fine, just remember to tell me, or fucking warn me, or... something."

The rest of lunch went by kind of awkwardly, with little conversation going on. Gamzee had always started the talks that incorporated everyone, and while Dave and John spoke comfortably, Rose and Karkat sat with little input.

The rest of the day slipped by easily, Gamzee stuck close to Karkat during their last 4 classes. They walked back to the dorm together, and Karkat watched the clock. At 3:30, he got up to go take a shower, leaving Gamzee on the couch by himself.

Karkat slipped into the shower after the water heated, and exhaled a long, shaking breath. His bruise was half the size it had been, and the edges were speckled with yellowish green, and pink. Karkat rubbed shampoo in his hair, and let the suds trickle down his back before rinsing it out. His conditioner slicked his hair back, filling the shower with a fruity scent. Karkat stepped out of the shower stream to lather up his body, and let the conditioner soak into his hair.

Once Karkat washed all the soapy bubbled and soft conditioner from his body, he got out and squeezed the water from his hair with a towel, and wrapped another around his hips. Rounding 4:30, Karkat crossed over to his room and noticed Gamzee was absent from the couch.

Karkat held up a pausing hand, before knocking, once, twice, on Gamzee's door. He heard shuffling, and the door opened inwardly; Gamzee's smiling face met Karkat's pouting one.

"Yeah, best friend?" Gamzee asked, sincerely curious on why the knock had come.

"Just making sure you're still here. What do you want for dinner? I'll make it when I get home…"

"Hey, why don't we go out tonight, motherfucker?" Karkat gazed up at Gamzee confused.

"Go out?"

"Yeah, there's a pizza joint a few miles from campus, why don't we go there tonight? It's not fair to make you do all the motherfucking cooking all the time." Gamzee ruffled Karkat's damp hair and nodded.

"Um…Okay? Let's do that then." Karkat turned and walked down the short hallway to his own room. He closed the door, and let the towel drop from his hips. He grabbed a brush, and pulled it through his thick hair. The pieces which always stuck up, still managed to stick up. Karkat walked over to his drawer, and pulled out a dark gray hoodie. It had three black claw marks printed on the front, and was quickly donned by the tiny boy.

His gray skinny jeans fit snuggly, but bunched at the bottoms where they were too long. He tugged on his sneakers, and checked the clock; he had a good 8 minutes before he had to leave. So he looked in the mirror, and attempted to smooth down his hair for the better half of that time. He finally gave up and grabbed his keys.

"Gamzee, I'm leaving. I'll come by and pick you up after, okay?" Karkat shouted at the door, he heard more shuffling before a muffled reply was called.

"Alright, motherfucker. See you later."

Karkat slipped into his Equinox, and turned the key in the ignition. The click of his CD changer sounded, and he took off driving as Coldplay began filling his car. Karkat sighed deeply, looking in his back seat at the small black case. He drove on in silence as one song blended into the next, finally pulling into the near empty hospital parking lot. He exited his car, and grabbed the case from the back. He locked his car, and strode through the automated doors, the burning smell of medicine reaching his nose.

Jean checked him in yet again, and he headed to the elevator. The 8 button glowed tauntingly, like a boogeyman from Karkat's nightmares. He felt the metal box shift upward, then jerk to a stop, sliding open on his floor. It was always so quiet on this floor, devoid of sounds except the heart monitors, and incoherent grumbling from some open rooms.

Mom would hate this if she were awake… Karkat thought, walking slowly to the door of his mother's room. He stepped inside, and left the door open just a crack, before taking his seat inside the curtain. He took his mom's hand yet again.

"Hi momma," he whispered looking at her still face. The oxygen tube running under her nose disrupted the natural beauty of her. Karkat felt his teeth clench. "I brought my violin, mom. I thought I could play it for you." He brought the case up on his lap, releasing his mom's hand. He brought out the sleek instrument, and thought for a moment on what to play. He finally decided on the first song his mom had ever taught him.

The sweet tune of "Eleanor Rigby" came from bow and string. The music seemed to send a shock wave through the hospital floor, as when the droning machine noises died away, so did the gloom. Karkat could hear senile patients in other rooms remarking aloud on the music, and he felt his eyes close, fingers still working the neck of the violin.

Next came the improvised tune to "Fix You" by Coldplay. This time, Karkat decided to sing along to his mother.

_"When you try your best, but you don't succeed._

_When you get what you want, but not what you need._

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep._

_Stuck in reverse._

_And the tears come streaming down your face._

_When you lose something you can't replace._

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste._

_Could it be worse?_

_Light will guide you home._

_And ignite your bones._

_And I will try to fix you."_

Karkat felt hot tears seep onto his cheeks, and he stopped playing, sinking back down into the chair, and clutching his mom's hand, faced pressed against her side on the bed. He shook, holding tightly, and the sleeve of his sweatshirt becoming damp with salty tears.

"Mom, why won't you wake up? I miss you so much. I need you, momma," he choked out, stomach twisting into knots. Karkat wiped his face clean, and sat in silence, holding his mom's hand, and looking at her pale face. He watched her, violin balanced on his lap, until Dr. Carman knocked on the door.

"Karkat?"

"I'm leaving," said the boy, placing his instrument back into the wooden case. He brushed past the doctor without a word, and left the hospital as quickly as he could.

Karkat sat in his car, turning on the engine, and pulling out of the hospital. He drove in silence, having turned off his CD's. The headlights illuminated the road in the fading daylight, and he pulled up to get Gamzee for dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'd love to thank my amazing beta reader for all of the stuff she does, and writing the whole of a very important piece of this chapter(minus a few added details) I love this girl! ~heart~ Love: Katy

BR/N: ((I love you too Katy boo)) Guys, I'm probably gonna open up an art blog for art for this fic. If you guys have a tumblr, and would like to post some fanart of this fic, please tag it as ps-fanart. Additionally, we have made a combined blog to dedicate the fanart. Some of our own fanart is already up there, reblogged. The URL is the same as the tag. Unoriginal, I know. But please check it out! ((You can do submissions too btw))

At the restaurant, Gamzee put in an order for a large cheese pizza, Karkat holding a bubbly glass of Sprite. His eyes were still a little red, but Gamzee either didn't notice, or didn't care to ask. The place was near empty, few other tables or booths held occupants. Karkat looked over to his friend, who sat doodling with a pen on his napkin.

"Hey, Gamzee," Karkat said quietly, and indigo eyes looked up to meet orange.

"Yeah, motherfucker?" He responded, putting the pen down.

"Do you ever… think about when we first met?"

"All the fuckin' time, man. Do you know how grateful I am to have you in my motherfuckin' life?" They sat looking at each other, thinking about how long ago they had met.

 

**Gamzee had the most troubled past of anyone Karkat had ever met. At the age of 13, he watched as his stepfather got out a gun, and aimed down his mother and himself. He shot at Gamzee first, hitting his arm, and flinging him back against a dresser, resulting in him blacking out. There was blood everywhere once Gamzee woke up. The bullet wound in his right shoulder throbbed, and on instinct he winced as he tightly held it. He looked next to himself, and saw his mother slumped against the wall, face covered in blood, head tilted toward him. Her forehead held a perfectly circular bullet hole, and her dead eyes stared at Gamzee lifelessly, turning a milky white.**

**The gun... where was the gun? It looked like his father had been shot. But where was the gun? Gamzee pressed his hand on the floor to get up. But once he did, he felt something warm and metallic. He picked up the item. Realizing what it was, he looked down at his dad's corpse in horror. He had no gun. The gun was in his hands. Gamzee's hands. The gun fell to the ground as Gamzee covered his mouth. I killed him... I killed him! The sentence echoed throughout his mind as tears began to form. Once one fell, he screamed. He kicked the gun away from him, as if trying to escape from the object. "No no no no no no NO!" he shouted. The sound of police sirens began to ring throughout the neighborhood. In response, Gamzee backed up into a corner. Will they take me away? Am I going to get arrested? Questioned? Tortured?**

**The door splintered as it was knocked down. He tried to shrink further into the corner as he watched the police who had rushed inside the house. One noticed him, and suddenly he couldn't move. He was frozen. As the policeman walked over to him, Gamzee began to panic. But instead of pulling out the cuffs and forcing him to stand and take him away, the policeman simply knelt down to him. "You saw what happened here?" Gamzee nodded slowly. "Is this your family?" The question broke Gamzee, and he started sobbing.**

**"I didn't do anything! I swear I didn't do anything!" he cried. Another policeman came over, and this one noticed his shoulder.**

**"Hey guys! This kid's hurt!" he shouted to the rest. Gamzee began to feel faint. "You okay kid?" the policeman asked, noticing the boy's face draining of color. He soon fainted.**

**Gamzee woke up at the sound of beeping. He grunted at the brightness of the room around him. "Oh, you're awake," a woman's voice came. He looked around, seeing only a nurse.**

**"Where am I?" he croaked.**

**"You're at the hospital. That bullet wound you sustained was quite complicated," she said, putting a tray of food in front of him. "You've been here for a couple of days. Eat this."**

**Gamzee looked down at the food in front of him. His stomach growled as he picked up a bun. Once he took a bite, he began to shove the food into his mouth. The nurse giggled at him. He looked up at her and smiled. "Thanks. Really, thanks," he said.**

**The nurse looked at him with a soft, caring expression. "You're welcome, dear," she replied softly and began to exit the room.**

**"Wait!" Gamzee called out. The nurse turned to him with a questioning expression. "What time is it?"**

**The nurse laughed. "It's Wednesday, about 6:30 PM. If you want, you can wander a bit," she said. Gamzee nodded in response and went back to shoving food in his mouth. He winced as he accidentally jerk his right arm. He looked down at the bandages and frowned. He suddenly remembered what happened, and felt panic rise. He reached over, and gripped the edge of the padded bed with his good arm, and the padding made a light honking sound. Gamzee stared at the bed, and felt a little chuckle escape as his panic subsided with the honking. He squeezed it a few more times until he was completely calm. Maybe it was the honking, or the morphine, but Gamzee decided it was the honking.**

**He soon finished his meal and set the tray aside. As soon as he walked outside his room, he spotted a short guy sitting at a bench, tears at the edge of his eyes. He looked like he was about to cry. The boy's arm was in a sling, and he had a thick bandage wrapping from his neck down under his gown. The boy had a gauze pad taped over one of his eyes. Gamzee blinked once, then walked over to the boy. Once his presence was noticed, the boy glared up at Gamzee, who winced in return.**

**"Yo, sorry. I just saw you all up and depressed here and was wondering what's wrong." Gamzee frowned at the boy, who showed a slightly shocked expression at the tall man's words.**

**"It's none of your business," the short guy croaked in return.**

**Gamzee smiled and sat down next to him. "You don't seem like you're here for just a check up, bro," he said. He stared at the ground as the boy stared at him. "If you want some cheerin' up, I'm all for ears. I just got all woken' up. Had surgery on my right shoulder."**

**The boy looked at Gamzee curiously. "What happened?" he asked.**

**Gamzee grinned at him. "'It's none of your business,'" he quoted. The boy glared at him as he laughed. "Just kiddin', man. I'm all up for sharin'. It was just a bullet wound. Nothing big."**

**The boy's eyes widened. "A _bullet_ wound? How old even are you?" he gasped.**

**"13, bro," Gamzee laughed. "Now you go on and tell me what's up."**

**The boy looked down at the ground. "Well, first of all I'm 12, today's my birthday," he said, then looked up at Gamzee. Hesitant, he asked, "What's your name?"**

**Gamzee smiled. "Gamzee Makara. You?"**

**The boy looked away shyly. "Karkat... Vantas..." he mumbled.**

**Gamzee laughed, patting Karkat on the back. "It sucks you gotta be in the hospital all up on your birthday. Well then, Karkat, it's great to meet someone who doesn't think of me as a freak."**

**Karkat looked up at Gamzee with one of his rare smiles. It was small, and sweet. "Same here, Gamzee."**

They looked into each others faces, by the way Gamzee's shoulder had stiffened, and Karkat's fingers lie on his scar, they both knew they were remembering the same thing.

"You're my best friend, Gamzee. I never would have spoken to you if you hadn't come over…" Karkat said in a hushed tone, trailing off at the end. Gamzee nodded, and they're pizza came, placed in between the two of them. The waiter quickly rushed away.

"You were sad, and scared man," he said quietly.

"You were too, Gamzee."

"We were both scared then, and both sad. We were both freaks in a place where we didn't understand how to act. Maybe it was chance, but I think it was a motherfuckin' miracle of fate I met you, best friend." Gamzee smiled widely, and let out a soft honk. They both piled their plates high with the steaming, cheesy mess of pizza, and gorged themselves on the greasy, yet delicious food.

Thursday came quicker than anyone had expected. It seemed like Karkat had just dozed off, belly full of pizza, when his alarm clock blared, making him crash to the floor again. He really needed to adjust how he slept. He groggily stumbled to his feet, shutting off the loud music that was his alarm. He turned on a lamp, illuminating the small room. He scratched his bare stomach, and yawned.

"I really don't want to go to school today," he grumbled as he changed from crumpled boxers to his uniform and jeans. He tied his tie quickly, pulling it straight, and tight. The red was a striking contrast from the black button down he preferred over the white most students wore. Hell, most students broke the dress code more often then they forgot their homework.

Karkat walked out to find Gamzee putting peanut butter and Nutella on toast. Karkat stopped in his tracks.

"Gamzee, what the fuck?"

"Hey, best friend. I thought I'd make breakfast for a change," the tall boy explained, still concentrating on the placement of the hazelnut spread. All Karkat could do was stare at Gamzee, surprised that he was even awake. He usually woke up after Karkat had left for the school, as he liked to take the longer route.

Gamzee's hair was curly, long, and messy, and fell all around his face as he put the toast on plates along with strawberries. His indigo eyes were unnatural, but sparkled with kindness. His skin had golden undertones, giving him a slightly tanned appearance, which only enhanced those round blue eyes.

Karkat sat down and bit into a piece of the warm toast. He licked the gooey peanut butter from his lips, and nodded in approval. "It's really good, Gamzee. Thanks." Gamzee honked and smiled. They ate their breakfast with little conversation, just casual chat about their classes.

They left for school together that morning, bags slung over bodies, and hands shoved deep in pockets. The late October air was crisp, and leaves were beginning to turn vibrant shades or red, yellow, and orange. Karkat inhaled deeply, enjoying the early morning scents. Gamzee observed his best friend's actions, noting the hand resting on his messenger bag, and the other deep in the left front pocket of his pants.

Although short, Karkat took long, quick steps, he few stray leaves crunched under his feet. He loved mornings, but hated nights. He had been plagued by nightmares for a long time, causing him to get little sleep. And whatever rest he did get was far from sufficient. He liked the way the Earth looked as it woke up, damp with dew, and soft with the rising sun. His eyes were constantly searching the environment. The walk to school was short, but relaxing.

John waited by his locker for Karkat, and smiled his welcoming smile when he approached.

"The school is throwing a huge costume party for Halloween!" John exclaimed, obvious excitement brewing inside him.

"Really? Sounds lame," Karkat said smirking, causing John's face to fall. "I'm just kidding, dumbass, it sounds cool. What are you going as?"

"I'm asking Kanaya to make my costume, she's an excellent seamstress. I want to be a magician for the party, what about you?"

"Fuck if I know. I should be a fucking giraffe," Karkat chuckled, thinking of his favorite animal.

"Karkat, you're too short to be a giraffe! Gamzee could be a giraffe!" John teased, and Karkat punched his arm, making a face at him.

"Clown ass will be a clown. There has not been a single year that Gamzee was not a fucking clown. He can ride a unicycle! Did you know that?" Karkat asked, walking with John to his classroom.

"I didn't have a clue. That's crazy! You should brainstorm with Kanaya for your costume, you could always be my lovely assistant," John teased, elbowing Karkat affectionately. Karkat stuck out his tongue between his pearly white teeth.

They broke away from each other, and Karkat slipped into Roxy's class trying to fight back a stupid grin. He sat down, got out his homework, and spent the rest of class thinking about costumes.

In gym, he chatted with Kanaya, Dave, and John.

"I'm going as a roman soldier. Leather skirts for maximum irony," Dave said, sunglasses covering his eyes.

"Rose and I are going as vampires. John's going to be a magician. How about you Karkat?" Kanaya asked, smiling, and displaying vampiric canine teeth that nobody seemed to notice.

"I have no fucking idea yet, to be completely honest," Karkat said shrugging.

"My assistant position is always available," John teased yet again, causing a playful glare from Karkat.

"Maybe I'll just wear a suit and bring my violin, I could say I was a musician, or some shit like that," he finally said, rubbing his bare knee awkwardly.

"Alright, dorks, we're playing dodgeball again today," Dirk called, picking out Karkat and another boy as team leaders. Karkat swept up Kanaya, Dave, and John for his team, before choosing others to make the 20-20 split.

Kanaya and Karkat smirked at each other, knowing they'd win again. They scooped up their weapons when the whistle chirped, dodging, diving, dipping, ducking, and dodging some more while throwing the colored foam spheres.

Nobody noticed that Dirk had brought out his flamingo until J-pop began blasting through the gym again. It sounded like one of the vocaloid covers, probably Len Kagami. Dirk sang to the flamingo again as "Gee" bounced around the walls. It was a spectacle to see, as Dave pushed his head into his hands at his brother's flamingo serenade.

Kanaya and Karkat ended up winning, and somehow John managed to never get hit. Once the bell sounded, signaling the end of Gym, the day flew by in a flash of lectures, cheetos, and bad school food. The school seemed to be getting more tolerable, and Karkat found himself almost enjoying it.


	8. Chapter 8

On Saturday Karkat fell to the floor at 12, instead of 2, to his alarm. Cursing, he clambered to his feel, shutting up the noisy singer. He scratched his head, trying to remember why he woke up so early, grogginess engulfing him. His phone buzzed soon after that. He opened it to see a calendar reminder.

 _ **"John's at 3,"**_ was all it said, but it was enough to jog Karkat's memory. He hurriedly went into the bathroom to take a shower. He pulled out a new bottle of body wash, and pitched the old one into the trash can. The shower was soon steaming. Karkat yelped as the water burnt his skin, instantly turning his entire body a baby pink. He turned it colder, and dunked his head into the stream. His ribs were finally healed almost completely.

After an hour of careful grooming, and a lot of singing, Karkat emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. His skin was pinkish, but quickly fading back to pale beige. The towel around his hips did little to swipe the water on his body, his hair tied into a tall towel, as always. He crossed back to his bedroom and closed the door.

Gamzee could be heard snoring loudly as Karkat finished drying his body and hair. He dug through his organized closet, and pulled out a clean, black, long sleeved shirt. He pulled it over his head, his hair falling into his eyes, and over red boxers he pulled on gray skinny jeans. He ran his comb through his nearly-dry hair, and checked the clock. 1:30pm blinked tauntingly. Karkat quickly relaxed seeing as he had time.

Karkat went out to the kitchen, and began sculpting 3 perfect sandwiches for Gamzee. After doing that, Karkat donned rubber gloves, and began cleaning the kitchen. Gamzee's cooking attempts had made a huge mess. His cleaning escapades took up a better portion of his remaining time, so at 2:30, Karkat was struggling to pull on his shoes and get out the door with his violin.

Derse House was located across campus, about a 15-minute walk. Karkat's feet made their way down the familiar paths through different dorm houses. A few classmates looked at him oddly as he strolled along with his violin case. Some even tried to stop him to ask. That took some difficulty shaking them off. By the time Karkat got to Derse, it was 5 minutes until three. He flipped open his phone as it buzzed in his pocket.

 _"we're room 413. -john"_ It was the very thing to keep Karkat from scrambling about on different floors. He noticed an elevator in this dorm house. Most dorms were unequipped with such a luxury. He hopped in, punched the floor 4 button, and waited silently as he was taken up the four stories.

The hallway was nearly abandoned while Karkat made his way through it to find John's dorm. He saw the large numbers declaring "413." Hee paused at the door, hand raised, before tapping twice. The door opened almost immediately, throwing Karkat off along with a flash of red, and white.

Dave stood, blank faced. "Yo, John told me you were coming. C'mon in, he's in his weirdo music room," Dave said brushing past him and out of the room entirely. Karkat stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do, so he simply stepped inside, removing his shoes, and placing them next to the pile of others.

"J-John?" He called out, before a giant pile of stuffed cats fell on his head, working a shrieking scream out of Karkat. He heard dorky laughter while buried under the soft kitties. His black hair jutted out, and he saw John's face only inches away. Karkat looked angry, a blush was rising from his cheeks. John began giggling again and plucked one of the toys from the top of his head.

"What the fuck, Egbert?" he grunted as he yanked himself out, along with his violin.

"I'm the King of Pranking, Karkat!" John explained, helping Karkat free of the pile of stuffed animals. His smile was huge, and eyes twinkled with amusement.

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Where do we play?" he asked, looking around the room. He felt John's hand slip around his wrist and tug him off toward a dark hallway. They emerged in a smaller room; a window peeked to the outside world, steaming light in the baby blue walls. A piano sat, polished and well kept, in the corner by the window. John closed the door and took his seat on the bench.

"Any idea what you want to play today?" John asked, turning his face toward the boy.

"Not really. I mean, what can you play?" Karkat asked, setting his case down on a chair and pulling his sleek instrument from its berth.

"I can play anything you want me too," said John confidently. Karkat raised an eyebrow, before walking over and sitting down next to him.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked before placing his hands on John's piano, playing the notes to a familiar song. John sat with a puzzled expression for a few moments, watching Karkat's slender fingers flit over the white and black keys. His head bobbed up and down slowly, thinking difficultly.

"Pianoman," he finally said softly, and the music stopped.

"Correct, Egbert. Good job, now how about this?" He began playing again. "I know this on violin too, it sounds better on that," he muttered, fingers stroking the keys gently as his foot working the pedal. John had no idea what song it was, and was evident to Karkat as he reached the final chords.

"It's called Little House, by Amanda Seyfried," Karkat explained taking his hands off the keys.

"The actress? I didn't know she could sing!" John said, bewildered.

"Well, if you've ever seen the movie Dear John-" Karkat slapped his hand over his mouth before he could say anything else, red seeping to his cheeks.

" _Dear John_? Isn't that a chick flick?" John laughed, looking over at Karkat. "Why would you ever watch that?"

"Ilikeromancemovies," Karkat said under his breath, too quickly for John to catch.

"What?"

"I like…" He paused, taking in a deep breath. "I like romance movies. And books, and anything sappy and chivalrous, and shit. Okay, laugh the fuck away, because holy Jesus, Karkat Vantas likes romance," Karkat ranted, eventually crossing his arms over his chest, and staring straight at the piano. John gazed at his friend with a wide smile on his face; he couldn't help but think it was cute how Karkat got all huffy over something so simple.

"That… that's adorable."

"What?" Karkat's head shot up, blush becoming deeper as he stared at John with confusion.

"I'm serious! Do you know how many guys would drag their girlfriend to some gorefest that would totally gross them out? You're the only guy I know that likes that kind of stuff!" he laughed, poking his cheek. Karkat recoiled, teetering, and falling off the piano bench.

"Fuck, Egbert," he grunted, rubbing the back of his head. "Is this another prank? Are you going to go paste it all around the fucking school?"

"No way, Bro! What happens in our music sessions stays in our music sessions, okay?" He offered his hand down, scooping up the boy, and plopping him back on the bench. "So, do you think you could help me out with something, Pianoman?" John winked at Karkat, and began playing the opening bars to "Heart and Soul".

Karkat couldn't contain his smile as he began playing the other half next to John, their fingers working in seamless time to create an elegant flow. By the end of the tune they were both laughing. Karkat looked over at John.

"Hey, do you like coffee?" he asked suddenly, sobering up John.

"Yeah, I love it."

"I know this awesome place, it has the best coffee in the state, I swear. And the music is awesome. They have live music almost everyday, and anyone else can go up and play if they want. Wanna go?" Karkat was smiling widely. John instantly thought he should smile more often.

"Sure! It gets boring cooped up here all day. When should we go?"

"Right now!" Karkat sprung up, quickly repacking his violin. "Come on!" he beckoned, waving an arm at John to hurry. John got up, following Karkat out of the dorm room and to the outside. They walked side-by-side, heading to Karkat's car, where he quickly stowed his violin and got in the drivers seat. John was already sitting as he watched Karkat check and recheck his seat belt.

He drove out of the campus gates and turned right, heading out of the town area. "This place is kinda out in the middle of nowhere. I just wanted to tell you so you don't think I'm going to murder you of something," Karkat said seriously, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. The CD player switched on, and Lady Gaga began playing loudly. John began to chuckle lightly when he heard Karkat singing along.

"Oh my god, Karkat!" he wheezed, and Karkat stopped singing to look over at him.

"What?"

"I can't believe you like Lady Gaga!" He exclaimed as the song ended, and Florence and the Machines began.

"I like this kind of music, more than that rap crap." Karkat made a face as he turned down an old street. Trees lined either side of the run down coffee shop. The brick building was small and quaint. Karkat parked in one of the few spaces. They both got out, Karkat headed into the small doorway, the smell of coffee and chocolate hitting both their noses. Karkat took a deep breath, and smiled at the girl behind a podium.

"Hey, Terezi!" he said to the girl, who looked up blankly. She stared off into space for a moment, and then smiled widely.

"Hey, Karkat, it's been so long! Jeez, well, your booth is open…" She paused, sniffing heavily in the direction of John. "You brought someone with you? I guess you'll be needing a menu, then," she said, reaching over and bumping one off the podium. "Oops…" Karkat bent over, and scooped up the menu.

"Thanks, Terezi," he said, leading John away and to a booth in the far corner near an empty stage that held a piano, guitar, and microphone. They slid into the soft red seats, and Karkat handed over the menu.

"What was-"

"Terezi's blind. Her parents own this place. She wants to be a lawyer, and her sense of smell is crazy. I guess it's all this time surrounded by coffee," he cut John off, explaining quickly while picking biscotti out of a jar of them on the table. John looked over the menu. A woman came over and smiled at Karkat.

"Hi, I'm guessing the usual for you, Karkat. Annnnd, for you?" She looked at John, who pushed his glasses back on his nose quickly.

"Um, I- uh," he stammered. Karkat plucked the menu, looking over it.

"He'll have a Caramel and cocoa cappuccino, extra whipped cream. And two Trifles please." Karkat smiled up at the woman, who took the menu and walked away to make their drinks. "That's Terezi's mom. And sorry for ordering for you. You'll like it."

John just stared at the transformed Karkat, usually uptight and tense, as he sat relaxed, chewing biscotti, and nodding his head to the music playing in the background.

_"I think that possibly_

_Maybe I'm falling for you._

_Yes there's a chance_

_That I've fallen quite hard over you."_

Two drinks were placed in front of them; Karkat's was tall, and pink, while John's was covered in a froth of whipped cream and caramel drizzle. Karkat took a long sip from his, pink forming a mustache over his upper lip. As he licked up, trying to get it, John started smiling. Karkat caught his eye, tongue fully extended on his upper lip, and he started to laugh too.

_"I never knew_

_Just what it was_

_About this old Coffee shop that I loved so much_

_All of the while, I never knew…_

_It was you."_

John took a drink from his coffee, getting whipped cream on the lens of his glasses, which had slipped back down his nose. Karkat started to giggle again. John wiped it away and plopped it onto the tip of Karkat's nose. He went cross-eyed, staring at the blob of white now on his nose, before scooping it off and into his mouth. John found himself smiling so hard his cheeks hurt, and quickly excused himself to the bathroom.

John stared at himself in the mirror for a long time. His grin had disappeared. "How could you think like that? Get it together, John. Karkat would never think that way, how could you even…?" he whispered to his reflection.

Karkat sat with his cheek resting in his palm. John's been gone a long time, he thought, just as the bathroom door opened and John sauntered back to the table. Two small cakes, lined with cream and berries had arrived. John stared at them, mouth agape.

"These are the Trifles, they're amazing," Karkat reassured, taking a large spoonful of his, and putting it into his mouth. John took his fork, and tried the decedent looking dessert. He smiled, and began to eat his quickly. Normally he hated cake.

They finished their drinks and desserts by 5. Karkat quickly picked up the tab.

"Hey, I can pay for my own!" John argued as Karkat handed Terezi a twenty. She sniffed it, and quickly dished out the change.

"You're my guest, I pick up the tab."

"Karkat's an old sap, he lives off of being chivalrous, meaning paying the tab and opening doors for people." Terezi smirked, and John recalled the fact Karkat had held every door open for him since they'd been friends. Karkat blushed and dumped the change into the tip jar, before going to go hold the door open for John.

A while later

Karkat walked into his dorm room alone, Gamzee sat with an empty plate next to him on the couch.

"Welcome home, motherfucker," he said, nodding casually.

"Hey, Gamzee," Karkat said, heading straight for his room. He slammed his door, and sank down on it, hands clutching in his hair.

"Egbert wouldn't ever think like that. God dammit, Vantas, get your shit together. It's stupid," he hissed at himself, tugging at his hair. His phone buzzed, and Karkat found it deep in his hoodie.

_"i had fun today! we should do it again soon. -john"_

Karkat found himself smiling at his phone, and quickly smacked his cheek, wiping the smile away. He quickly text his friend back and pressed send. Letting out a sharp breath, the kind of nerves came, knotting his gut whenever he asked someone out. But this wasn't a date, right?

_"ME TOO. HOW ABOUT MONDAY? -KARKAT."_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want reference to Dave's scream, look up lolo and stotch on YouTube.

The rest of the weekend, both John and Karkat were bundles of nerves. They had no idea why, but the consistent buzzing notifications left Gamzee and Dave wondering what had happened. The stream of texts that went between them were on the topics from everything to movies, video games, and music. They even struck up a brief conversation about girls, but it was short lived.

No girls at school interested either of them.

Monday rolled around, and Karkat found himself anxious and fidgety on his way to school. Gamzee had begun his old routine, sleeping in until the last possible second, so Karkat had nothing to help ease his nerves. He left earlier than usual, feet crunching along the campus path. The school building loomed ahead of him, a good distance away. Karkat felt his nerves intensifying even more. He bit the inside of his cheek, fighting away the urge to go back to the dorms.

Once inside the school, Karkat passed his locker completely and took his seat in Roxy's class, a good 15 minuets before the bell rang. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he opened it quickly.

_"hey, where are you? you're not by your locker."_

_"I JUST WENT STRAIGHT TO CLASS TODAY. SORRY."_

_"oh okay! are we still on for coffee? how about we head out right after school?"_

_"YEAH, SURE."_

John stood by his locker, staring at his PDA-like cell phone, smile on his lips. He closed the metal door, and turned on his heel, heading to his History class.

A woman named Jane taught history, and she was brilliant at it. She could go on for the entire hour over how a simple tool revolutionized the world. She did just that this morning, going on about embalming tools in ancient Egypt. She passed out the simple homework just before the bell rang. John sprang to his feet, eager to see Karkat in gym. He all but ran to his next class, passing by Dave who had opened his mouth to say hello.

Karkat stepped into the gym class, where he was quickly tackle hugged by John. He went rigid, which caused John to let go quickly, a bit of pink smattering his cheeks.

"S-sorry, bro," he stammered, rubbing the back of his head. Karkat shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Sorry I wasn't at my locker this morning." The sight of John had melted Karkat's nerves away. He let out the breath he'd been holding in. They went to go change, and Karkat wondered what he'd ever been nervous for.

When Dave, John, and Karkat emerged from the locker room, Dirk stood with his flamingo, and something else half hidden under his arm.

"Hey, little bro, catch!" Dirk called, and Dave barely managed to grab the mysterious item as it whizzed toward his face. Dave turned over what looked like a doll, and stared at its face for a good 10 seconds, before dropping it. He started screaming, high-pitched and girly, drawing attention as he ran toward the bleachers. He scaled them, and screamed at the puppet from the top, pointing while the girly shriek echoed.

"I brought Lil Cal!" Dirk yelled. Karkat looked at Dave, to Dirk, to John, confused.

"What the fuck…"

"Oh my God, Dave…" John said, trying to hold back laughter as his friend continued screaming.

"Why, Bro? Why! Why would you bring him? Why would you do this? In school!" Dave squealed as his brother walked over and picked up the weird puppet doll thing.

"Alright, you dweebs, choose your teams, we're playing dodgeball!" Dirk exclaimed, paying no mind to his whining little brother. Kanaya approached Karkat and John, smiling slightly at them both.

"Have you given any thought on your costume, Karkat?" she asked as the rest of the students divided into the teams. Dave was still on the bleachers.

"I'm just going to wear a suit. Be a musician, like I said before." Karkat shrugged as the three lined up for the game. Dirk's whistle blew, and the bombardment of plush spheres began. Soon, J-pop filled the air, and Dirk sang to his flamingo and Lil Cal. Dave still sat pouting atop the metal bleachers, arms crossed over his chest.

By the end of gym, Karkat was sweaty, and John had been hit in the face more than once with the dodge balls. They changed quickly into their uniforms. Karkat pulled his tie up straight and clean. He glanced over at John, who was fumbling with the neon green neck piece. Karkat sighed, and stepped over, taking the tie into his hands, and tying it around John's neck, straightening it and smoothing it down.

He glanced up at John after realizing what he was doing, both had small blushes on their cheeks.

"You're hopeless, Egbert," he said, releasing his tie, and giving a shy half-smile to the boy. "Can't even tie a tie."

"I uh- Thanks, Karkat," John said as Karkat walked away.

Lunch was just as awkward for the two, filled with short remarks. Gamzee sat beside Dave and Rose today, and the three of them watched the other two boys quietly. Rose's nose was scrunched in thought as she observed, and Dave had finally stopped shaking after his incident in gym.

The rest of the day went by easily. Karkat and Gamzee joked during their last classes, and Gamzee couldn't help but think how much Karkat had opened up since meeting John. He was still grumpy, and hunched, but he smiled more, and laughed.

After school, Karkat met John by his locker, keys in hand.

"Ready for some awesome coffee?"

"You bet! Oh, hey, do you wanna catch a movie afterwards? You know the theater on Broadway and Prospit?"

"Yeah, I love that theater. They play all the really old movies."

"Yeah! Let's go there after we get coffee!" John laughed. Karkat gave a slow nod in return, and they headed out together to Karkat's car. John hopped in the passenger side, watching as Karkat got in and buckled in right away. He tugged twice on the belt, making sure it was snug before putting the key in the ignition.

"It's kinda weird. We're going out in our uniforms," Karkat said, glancing over at John who was watching the CD player blink to life. Coldplay filled the air, and Karkat hummed along quietly, fingers tapping on the steering wheel. John watched Karkat's odd little quirks, like the fact he chewed his lower lip while he was concentrating, or that his pinkie finger was curled inward, knuckle resting on the wheel instead of gripping it.

Karkat turned down the old road and into the parking lot of the coffee shop. Karkat slipped out and around, opening John's car door promptly.

"I can open my own doors, Karkat," John teased as he got out, making Karkat blush once he noticed. He closed the door and locked his car before swiftly going to open the door into the coffee shop, making John laugh.

They took Karkat's regular booth; the stage was empty yet again.

"We should go up there and play," John said, half joking. Karkat shrugged as their drinks were placed in front of them, Karkat's pink one frosty.

"What is that?"

"Strawberry blender. It's so good. Want some?" Karkat slid his drink across the table, where John took a careful sip from his straw. His eyes went wide when the sweet strawberry drink hit his tongue.

"Oh my god, this is amazing!" he said handing it back. Karkat smiled and nodded, taking a sip before remembering John had just drank from the same straw.

"You know, Karkat, you can sing really well," John said blankly as he sipped his chocolaty-caramel drink. Karkat blushed, and shook his head denyingly.

"No, not really. My voice is all raspy and shit…" he grumbled, looking away as Terezi's mom brought out two cakes.

"But it sounds so pretty! You really can sing. I love listening to you sing! You're just so cool!" Karkat looked up, sincere confusion reading across his face.

"Me? Cool? You've got to be kidding me! I'm such a loser it's insane. I'm a horrible person. I fuck everything up. I'm just… I'm nothing special, okay?"

John studied his friend as the thin white fingers stirred the straw around, and around, and around.

_He really thinks he's worthless…_ John thought, taking another drink from his cup. Karkat had been slowly eating his cake by the time John noticed his. He dug in, eager for the dessert.

"Thanks for coming with me, John…" Karkat whispered, still staring at his drink. John froze, did he hear correctly?

"Did you call me John?" A wide smile spread his cheeks. Karkat looked up, realizing what he did.

"Um… Yeah, why?"

"I think it's the first time you've ever called me by my first name. I like it." To say they both blushed would be an understatement, as they could almost feel the heat from each others cheeks.

They both eyed the piano, done with their drinks, and gazed at each other for a few more moments.

"Wanna play?"

"You read my fucking mind." They smiled at each other, and quickly went to sit on the baby Grande's bench.

"What do you want to play? The place is basically empty, except for Terezi and her parents," Karkat whispered quietly, looking at John with big orange eyes. They were curious, and searching.

"Viva la Vida? I mean, it's the first song we played together." John smiled, Karkat nodding quickly in agreement.

"Should we sing?" Karkat asked, rubbing the pads of his fingers together.

"I will if you will."

They both began playing, Karkat taking the higher keys, and John the lower. Karkat began singing the first verse softly, just as he had back in the music room. John joined in for the next, and they both sang together. Their voices blended together beautifully, gaining Terezi's attention, along with her parents.

_"I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing_

_Roman Calvary choirs a singing_

_Be my mirror, my sword, my shield_

_My missionaries in a foreign field_

_And for some reason I can't explain_

_I know St. Peter won't call my name_

_Never an Honest word,_

_But that was when I ruled the world."_

They finished the last few chords, and smiled at each other in blissful peace. They got up and went to pay the bill. Karkat covered it again, much to the displeasure of John, making it known with a little grunt. Karkat rolled his eyes, and stuck out his tongue over his shoulder at John. Terezi chuckled a little as Karkat dumped the change into the tip jar, before opening the door for John.

They walked back to the car, hopping in. Karkat did his little routine before backing out, and driving off.

"What movie are we going to see?" Karkat asked, paying close attention to the road.

"I don't know. I figure we'll see what's playing!" John replied happily. Karkat gave him a startled look.

"You mean you just compulsively asked me to see a movie with you, without even knowing what movie we were going to see?" Karkat's question made John shrug, a small chortle escaping.

"Yeah, I guess so. I like spending time with you, Karkat. You're a really good friend." Karkat swallowed the lump in his throat, a smile forming on his normally pouty lips.

They drove for about 10 more minutes before Karkat pulled into the nearly empty theater parking lot. Karkat got out; this time John opened his door before Karkat could. They walked into the theater together, the salty smell of popcorn making their mouths water. They looked at what was playing and Karkat suddenly gasped.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I- just… They have Sabrina playing…" Karkat explained, a blush creeping over his cheekbones. "I haven't seen it in so fucking long... It's one of my favorite movies."

"Um, then let's see it!" John said smiling at his friend.

Karkat grabbed his sleeve. "No, John. It's one of my stupid romance movies, you wouldn't like it."

"C'mon, Karkat. You haven't seen it in so long! I don't mind!" John pulled Karkat up to the counter where he paid for the tickets. Karkat was eyeing the candy. John noticed. He sent Karkat to go fill up their drinks.

"Two bags of skittles, a Reeses Pieces, and a pack of Twizzlers too, please," John said to the man, who quickly handed over the candy. John stuck them in his jacket pocket, the roomy space hiding the candy.

They entered the theater, which was empty save the two. They took seats in the very back center. John brought out the candy, handing it to Karkat.

"I saw you wanted it," he said slyly. Karkat looked at John shocked.

"You are seriously the best fucking person alive. How are you so god damn perfect?" Karkat asked, tearing into the Twizzlers before the previews even began. Karkat had the red strip hanging from his mouth as the movie began, the scene panning onto a beautiful garden party.

Karkat sighed as the movie began, earning a look from John, who was amused at how happy Karkat looked, cheeks full of candy, and the old movie on the screen.

After the movie, John returned to his dorm after hugging Karkat goodbye. Dave sat on the couch staring at the door.

"I found a Nic Cage movie you've never seen," he said blankly, piquing John's interest instantly. "It's called Moonstruck. I rented it. C'mon." Dave patted the couch next to him, and John quickly took the seat.

They watched in silence, John observing the Cher movie with a watchful eye. The last scene was just coming on, when Dave spoke.

"Hey, John?"

"Yeah?"

Dave reached up, and gently took off his sunglasses, placing them on the arm of the sofa. Nic Cage had just asked his brother for the engagement ring. Dave scooted closer, earning John's full attention. Dave looked at John with soft red eyes framed by white lashes. The two main characters pressed their lips together on the screen.

That's when Dave leaned in, and kissed John.


	10. Chapter 10

John sat in the kiss for a moment, before realization kicked in. He shoved himself back, dropping off the couch, and crashing to the floor in a mess of folded legs and crooked glasses.

"What the hell, Dave? You just _kissed_ me!" John cried, his friend quickly putting his sunglasses back on.

"Yeah, I did just kiss you. Is that a problem? It's not like you like anybody," Dave said blandly, his mouth clenching.

"But I do like somebody!" John retorted, standing up, fists clenched.

"Oh, let me guess, you like _Karkat_ , don't you?" Dave teased, smirk on his face.

"YES!" John yelled, and Dave's eyebrows went up. John sighed, looking at the ground.

"Yes, Dave, I like Karkat. I'm not a homosexual, I honestly don't know what I am, but Karkat would never think of me that way. And you, Dave, you're my best friend! Randomly kissing me isn't cool!" John's blue eyes were filled with sadness and hurt. He sighed again deeply as his friend said nothing.

"Never mind, I'm sorry," he muttered, before turning on his heel, feet carrying him to his music room. He slammed and locked the door, sinking down against it, taking off his glasses and searching for damage.

His glasses were unscathed, but a glint of something caught John's eye; a chain was half buried in the fluffy carpeting, and when John plucked it up, he saw a small silver locket at the end. The heart shape had what looked like tiny ropes covering the surface, and it simply had a large "S" engraved in it. He rolled it over in his hands, running his thumb over the sparkling surface.

"Only Karkat's been in here since I last vacuumed…" John thought aloud before pulling out his phone.

_"karkat, can I come over?"_ He pressed send, and looked back to the locket. His phone buzzed quickly. Karkat sure was a speedy texter.

_"YEAH, SURE. WE'RE ROOM 615."_ John stood up and peeked from the kitchen. Dave wasn't there. He must have retreated to his bedroom. John slipped on his shoes, and set out of Derse house to go see Karkat.

The campus was well lit, even at night, but the street lamps did little to warm the frosty air. John made quick work of finding Void house, jogging up the 6 flights of stairs. He found room 615 and tapped gently on the door. Karkat opened it, clad in a pair of baggy plaid pajama pants and a black hoodie.

"Hey, Egbert, what's the rush?" Karkat asked, ushering John inside the warm apartment-like room. It was clean and orderly, and smelled like good cooking.

"I found this," John said, holding out his hand with the locket. Karkat's eyes went wide, and he quickly took it, slipping it in his hoodie pocket. "It was on the floor of my music room."

"Oh, thanks. Well, fuck, was that it?"

"Not really, can we talk for a while?" John asked shyly. Karkat nodded.

"My room is the last one down the hall on the right, next to the big snoring bear I call a room mate. I'll be there in a second," Karkat directed. John nodded before heading off to find the bedroom.

Karkat bustled around the kitchen for a few minutes, gathering snack cakes and other various junk food before brewing two steaming cups of hot chocolate and plopping a few marshmallows in the top. All the necessities for a good feelings jam. Karkat scooted the door open with his hip and closed it with his foot, balancing the goodies in his arms. John sat on the neatly made bed and watched as Karkat set down the treats, handing him one of the steaming cups.

"You didn't have to do this, Karkat."

"And you didn't have to return the locket either, but you did, so I want to return the fucking favor," Karkat said gently, the bite taken out of his voice. He sat down next to John, their knees touching.

"What is it, Egbert? It's almost 11 o'clock," Karkat asked. John finally realized he was still in his uniform.

He took a deep breath and looked around, taking a drink from his cocoa, trying to avoid it.

"John…." Karkat trailed off, staring at him.

"Dave kissed me," John blurted, eyes squeezing closed. He felt Karkat stiffen beside him.

"Oh… Really?"

"Yeah, I hated it." An instinctive smile spread across his lips.

"Oh…" He could sense the sadness in Karkat's voice.

"He doesn't understand I'm not a homosexual, and that I like someone else." Karkat froze, completely torn apart inside. "Not saying that I'm completely straight, I don't really know." Karkat's chest hurt as John continued speaking, his heart literally felt like it was breaking. John looked at Karkat, and saw the sadness on his face.

"What's wrong, Karkat?"

"I like someone too, and I'm afraid they don't share the same feelings. I think they like someone else, because I mean, I'm a fucking piece of shit and nobody could love me."

"I love you, Karkat."

"But you love me as a friend, John. It's totally different," Karkat sighed, picking the marshmallows out of his cocoa and chewing them. John's hand moved to Karkat's and squeezed it lightly. Karkat paused in mid-chew, a blush creeping up his face.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You're not a piece of shit, or unlovable, okay? I'm sure whoever it is that you like would love to have you as a boyfriend," John reassured, smiling his sweet, sweet smile.

"The necklace was my mom's," Karkat whispered impulsively, letting out a deep breath. "I keep it with my violin, because she taught me how to play and sing. That's what's so important on Wednesdays, I go see my mom."

"Oh. She must live nearby then," John said, happiness starting to seep back into his voice.

"Yeah… yeah she does." Karkat tore into a pack of Zebra cakes, white cream sticking to the side of his mouth. John wiped it away with his finger, and smiled wider at Karkat's chipmunk cheeks.

"You like sweets and junk food, don't you Karkat?" His friend only nodded as he swallowed the mouthful.

"I fucking love it. I never gain weight, either." John glanced at the clock, dreading to go back to his own room. He was so nervous about seeing Dave.

"Karkat, can I sleep over tonight?" John asked cautiously. Karkat looked up from his snacks.

"If you want to, the couch is always open." Karkat licked his fingers clean and went to his closet.

"You're about the same size as me…" he muttered, opening it. The interior was lined with uniform jackets, black button downs, and black hoodies. Karkat dug around before pulling out a black tee shirt and tossing it John's way. He then dug in his dresser, yanking out a pair of pants similar to his, and also tossed them at John's head.

He bustled around while John changed. The clothes fit near perfectly, if anything they were a little too large. Karkat had yanked the big crimson duvet cover from his bed and grabbed some pillows from the headboard. He carried them out to the sofa, John trailing not far behind. He set down the pillows.

"Lie down," he instructed, and John did so. Karkat flicked his wrists, the blanket billowing up in the air, and coming to rest all around John. Blue eyes watched as his friend tucked him in on the sofa, watching every move his body made in awe.

"Goodnight, John," Karkat said with a small smile.

"Goodnight, Karkat," John replied, sighing into the comfortable surface. Karkat returned to his bedroom, shutting off lights as he went. He laid down, burrowing into his sheets, Karkat was a heavy sleeper, only usually awakening to his alarm. He fell into a heavy slumber, hopefully not riddled with nightmares.

John lie awake for hours, before finally getting up and wrapping himself in the pillows up in the puffy blanket as he approached Karkat's room. He opened his door and peeped inside. Soft, heavy breathing met his ears.

"Karkat?" John whispered, and the big pile on the bed shifted.

"Hrmph?" was the sleepy reply.

"Can I sleep in here with you?"

"Mmmnfuck whaaeber," came Karkat's sleepy voice. John tiptoed in; the heavy breathing once again resumed as Karkat almost instantly fell asleep. John sat on the opposite edge of the bed, Karkat curled in a small ball near the right side of the bed. John lay down next to Karkat, spreading the big red blanket over them. He rolled on his side to look at Karkat, and was surprised when he found Karkat had rolled over in his sleep and snuggled up to him.

John examined his face in the dark. Creamy moonlight seeped in the window, softening the shadows on Karkat's pale face. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks, and his upturned nose had no scrunch in it while he slept. His full lips were parted lightly, and warm breath feathered in and out of it. Karkat's hair was tossed lazily all over the place, thick and soft. John leaned in slightly and planted a soft kiss on Karkat's nose, which wrinkled in response. Karkat's body moved closer, curling into John's chest, his face gently nuzzling his collarbone.

John felt instantly drowsy, and wrapped his arm around Karkat loosely before nodding off himself. Both slept peacefully, warm, and comfortable with the close proximity they were in.

John awoke slightly as he heard the shuffling of Gamzee, but quickly ignored it and looked at Karkat, who was still soundly sleeping, snuggled up to him. He closed his eyes once more and drifted off. Karkat had forgotten to set his alarm, so by the time he woke up, it was nearing noon.

Karkat's eyes opened to the chest of John, who he had apparently snuggled up to in his sleep. Karkat squirmed back embarrassed, watching as John's eyes opened, foggy, but beautiful as they weren't hidden by his glasses.

"Oh god, what time is it?" John said stretching and yawning.

"Almost noon. Shit, I think I forgot to set my alarm. Gamzee probably thought I had already left…" Karkat said as he checked his phone.

"Guess we're playing hooky today, eh?" John said smiling. Karkat seemed totally unaware of the kiss from the previous night. He sneezed, the burst small and high, like a kitten, and John couldn't help but smile even more.

"Guess so. You want breakfast? And if so, what?" Karkat asked as he stretched, back cracking.

"Um… what can you make?" Karkat looked over his shoulder, and smiled.

"Whatever the fuck you want, John. Whatever. The fuck. You want."

Karkat was busy flipping pancakes and bacon while whisking eggs. John sat with a pack of gushers on the sofa. Pulling cinnamon baked apples out of the oven, Karkat piled two plates high with all the food he'd made. He brought out the aromatic plates, along with two big glasses of coffee and orange juice. John stared in amazement at the dishes.

"Wow, Karkat! This looks spectacular!" he cried, poking the fluffy eggs with a fork. Karkat said thank you and sat next to him, digging in to the expertly crafted food. John took a bite of everything, and a little noise of happiness escaped his throat, making Karkat look over, and start laughing.

The two sat on the couch watching reruns of _Law and Order: Special Victims Unit_ , seeing how fast they could determine the killer. Karkat went into one of his rants about how the uncle isn't always a pedophile.

"Just because he's an uncle and is single doesn't make him a pedophile! The cops always go to the single uncle first! They say it's because he has the easiest access to the child, well what if he doesn't! He doesn't own a creepy rape van, does he? No! He has no criminal history, or issues with previous relationships, he's never had a bad word spoken about him! So why is he the pedophile?" Karkat grumbled loudly, cheeto residue coating his waving fingers.

John was right about that episode, it had been the uncle.

When Gamzee walked in the door, and saw the two of them under a blanket, sprawled on the couch in their pajamas, he only smiled.

"Man, motherfuckin best friend, I thought you were sick or something. Here you're just playing skipsies with John? C'mon man, that's not cool to leave your best friend out on," Gamzee laughed, heading to his bedroom. Karkat blushed at his friend's teasing. John sighed.

"I should be going home soon."

"You could stay another night," Karkat said too quickly, before adding, "If you want to. We wear the same size, and I have the uniform pants. They're too long, so they'd be perfect for you." John smiled, liking the idea of getting to cuddle with Karkat again, and Karkat secretly liking the same thing.

"Alright, I like the sound of that. Remember to set your alarm, though!" John nudged his side, and Karkat threw a cheeto at his face. John tossed a gusher back in retaliation, and soon their blanket was covered in their processed ammunition.

Later that night, after showering, John checked his phone, seeing he had multiple messages from Rose and Dave, both asking where he was. He ignored them, turning his phone on silent again, and watched as Karkat set his alarm speedily. His fingers moved over his flip phone keyboard almost too quickly to keep track of. John lay down in the bed next to Karkat, and the smaller boy curled up on his side, shutting off the light.

It was only a little while before John felt a small, warm body pressing up against his. He held back the urge to grin. Karkat was awake at the time, so when he felt John's lips gently kiss his head, his face went scarlet. Karkat quickly tried to fall asleep, but the long arm now encircling him kept his heart racing.

_No way. John Egbert is cuddling with me. In bed. JOHN EGBERT, the boy you have a massive crush on, is snuggling with you. Oh my god, Vantas, go to sleep already,_ Karkat thought. His brain obeyed, not long after he was sleeping soundly. He rolled over and nuzzled himself into John while asleep. John's lips curled into a smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow guys thank you do much for everything. Like really. This fic so far is over 20 chapters long. And it isn't even close to being finished! This is a big chapter, usually the arcs of my fics happen around the sets of 0's (10, 20,) and a few chapters after. Really though thank you.
> 
> -Katy

When Karkat's alarm went off, both boys awoke and gave each other awkward glances. Karkat shimmied out of John's grasp. They both had pink cheeks. Karkat left the room. John listened as Karkat knocked loudly on Gamzee's door, and when the snoring stopped, Karkat yelled.

"Time to get up, Gamzee." He walked back in the room and paused as the snoring continued before shaking his head, a knowing smile on his lips. Karkat glanced over at John, and then turned to his closet. He opened it up and reached onto a shelf, pulling down a brand new, still wrapped pair of pants. The pinstripes flew at John's head and he caught them, watching as Karkat searched for a pair of gray skinny jeans.

"Karkat," John began, stopping when the boy paused and looked over his shoulder. "Thanks for all of this."

"Don't get all sentimental on me, Egbert. It's best if we forget about our awkward positioning this morning, as well," Karkat huffed, finally finding a pair of jeans. John sat in the bed while his friend dug in his closet, pulling out a jacket, boxers, button down, and pair of socks. He laid them all on the bed carefully, smoothing them out, before gathering his own clothes and heading out the door.

"I'll change in the bathroom," was the explanation as the door shut behind big pajama pants. John sat looking at the clothes, before throwing off the blanket and standing up. He quickly stripped out of Karkat's spare pajamas and looked at the other clothes like they would disappear if he touched them. He finally pulled on the boxers, and pants, which fit perfectly, and continued with the shirt. The collar smelled sweet, almost like spice and chocolate. John inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. He didn't know men could smell so… _intoxicating._

When Karkat didn't come back in the room, John headed out, fully dressed, and struggling with his wrinkled tie. Karkat was cooking again this morning; perfectly shaped omelets were sizzling in a pan. Karkat caught the sight of John's tie and tsked, shaking his head.

"No, you are not wearing that wrinkled tie." He extended a hand, and John placed it in the palm of his friend. Karkat rushed back into his room, and came out with a forest green one. "Here." He quickly tied it loosely around John's neck, and returned to the omelets. John turned around, tightening the tie, and came face to face with a monster of hair.

Gamzee pushed his insane locks from his unpainted face, a smile spread wide. Without his face paint, Gamzee was really handsome. He wore a gray hoodie that had a purple clown face on it; the pocket said "hOnK", which crinkled as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Morning, motherfuckers."

"Gamzee, we're out of mushrooms, so your omelet doesn't have them. John, what do you want in yours?" Karkat asked, sliding the perfect omelet onto a plate, and setting it in front of Gamzee. John stuttered out what he wanted and watched Karkat's slender wrists as they whisked eggs to a fluffy mixture. Gamzee glanced from John to Karkat between mouthfuls. It wasn't long before he realized they liked each other. Gamzee let out a honk, along with another smile.

It wasn't long before Karkat set down another omelet for John, and opened a pack of skittles.

"What are you doing?" John asked, confused on the snack.

"Breakfast," Karkat mumbled, pouring some in his mouth. "I wanted to make some for you guys, but I don't have time for myself." Karkat disappeared into the hallway, coming out with his messenger back slung across his chest. He opened another cabinet, pulling down a can of sprite, a brown bag, and a bag of cheetos. John had nearly finished his omelet.

"See you guys at school." Karkat waved, and headed out the front door.

"My motherfuckin' best friend likes to leave early. He likes to take a walk. You should go too," Gamzee said. John nodded, shoving the last bite of egg in his mouth and rushing to pull on his shoes.

Karkat heard running behind him, he had just left the dorm building, and turned to see John racing after him.

"Karkat! Wait!" John exclaimed. Karkat raised an eyebrow.

"What the fuck is it, Egbert?" Karkat asked when John was beside him.  
"Can we walk together?"

"I always take a really long way, though. You should just wait for Gamzee… Or stop by to see Strider, or some shit." Karkat shrugged, John realized his friend still had no idea where he had been, so he quickly took out his phone.

_"stayed at Karkat's the past two nights. it's all okay,"_ he sent to Dave, while Karkat insisted on walking alone.

"No, Karkat, I want to walk with you, okay?" John said firmly. Karkat sighed, finally giving in. They took off together, Karkat's head faced upward, watching the world around him. John found himself only being able to watch Karkat, his nose constantly occupied with Karkat's beautiful smell.

_Karkat likes someone else…_ John thought sadly, his foot kicking a rock. _He could never like me. I'm just his friend. Some boy he saved from some bullies. I'm nothing special to him…_

Karkat couldn't concentrate on the early morning, his mind occupied with similar thought to John's. They walked in mutual silence, sparse birdsong the anthem to the morning. The school building loomed ahead in the distance, and Karkat found himself wishing for another day of hooky with John.

"Oh yeah, Gamzee made us these." Karkat dug in his bag, pulling out two expertly forged Doctors notes. It said Karkat had had the stomach flu, and John a high fever. "We have another day off, if we want." Karkat smirked at his friend; the nearly abandoned campus fell silent as the two stopped.

"We could have a movie marathon…" John said, looking at the notes.

"That's the spirit, Egbert, c'mon." The two of them smiled widely at each other. Thank god for Gamzee's expert forgery. They took off in the opposite direction, heading toward John's dorm. They snuck through the halls like ninjas, and approached room 413 quietly, slipping in unnoticed. It seemed Dave had already left. Karkat stopped in the doorway, taking off his shoes, and placing them next to the door.

John gripped Karkat's wrist when he was done and tugged him toward his bedroom. Karkat looked around the room, filled with novelties, like a half-destroyed stuffed rabbit, and a full sized ghost busters plush. A large TV was mounted on the wall opposite of the queen-sized bed.

"Damn, Egbert, your place is huge…." Karkat marveled, a small aquarium catching his eye. He walked over, and looked inside at the little yellow salamander.

"That's Casey, she's like my daughter," John said, a small chuckle escaping. Casey croaked at the sound of john's voice, and Karkat jumped back.

"What the fuck?"

"She's hungry." John laughed at his friend's fright and brought out Casey's food. John's phone buzzed in his pocket, he checked it after feeding Casey.

_"Oh, cool man. You gonna be at school today, or are you skipping with Prince Vantas again."_

_"…"_

_"I see how it is, cool, bro. See you later tonight?"_

_"Yeah, Dave."_

Karkat was busy looking over the stacks of DVD's that lined John's bookshelf; almost all of them had Nicholas Cage in them. He cringed at the sight of Wicker Man and finally felt John by his side.

"We're watching Con Air first. Then you can have your choice," John instructed, pulling down a movie from the top shelf. Karkat devised his shelves as a rating system, his favorites at the top, and least favorites on the bottom, which explained why Wicker Man was at eye level.

John had left Karkat to get comfy on his bed, returning with large quantities of snacks. Multiple boxes of Gushers, bags of chips, and various sweets were spread on the blanket. Karkat had wrapped himself in the ectoplasm green blanket that was on the bed, and sat holding a pillow. John smiled at his friend, who seemed to be admiring a box of chocolate.

"Go for it, Karkat," John laughed, sitting down next to him, turning off the light. He heard shuffling and plastic being torn while he pressed play on the remote. The TV illuminated them both, just enough that they could see each other.

"We have to go to school tomorrow," John said, enjoying the two days of relaxation. Karkat had never seen Con Air, so only nodded as he watched the screen. John picked up his phone and quickly tested Kanaya.

_"scratch the green, make it pink and bright red, okay?"_ He smiled slyly at his and Kanaya's plan, and set his phone down to watch his favorite movie.

They both seemed to get into the movie, Karkat wide eyed, and chipmunk cheeked, and John's glasses slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose. When the credits rolled, Karkat turned to John.

"Do you have Ghostbusters?" he asked softly. John agreed hastily, getting up to put in the next movie.

"I didn't think that was your kind of movie, Karkat."

"It's not, but I bought you something." John looked back as the pan slid closed and quickly jumped back onto the bed. Karkat had pulled his bag up, and was rummaging around before yanking out the brown package. He handed the neatly wrapped gift over to John, who carefully undid the tape on either side, the Ghostbusters theme playing in the background.

John pulled out two large bags of "Stay Puff Marshmallows". John bit his lip, and looked at Karkat with a wide grin, before launching at him, knocking them both over and squeezing him into a tight hug.

"Oh my god! How did you find these? They're amazing! Karkat, this is so sweet!" John squealed, snuggling into Karkat, who was, surprisingly, hugging him back and laughing.

"I thought you might like them, I found them online." Karkat smiled, looking up at John, who lay on top. John realized their compromising position and scooted off with a blush.

"Sorry about that, I didn't even warn you," he apologized, giving an embarrassed look at Karkat, who was heaving himself back up.

"It's fine, John," Karkat muttered, blushing as well. John's lips curled into his movie star smile at hearing his first name. He handed Karkat one of the bags of marshmallows, and they both chewed the gooey white mounds of fluff while the movie began playing.

After about 3 more movies, John heard the front door slam. Karkat had scooted closer to share his blanket with John, who had lied about being chilly. Soon, Dave barged into John's bedroom, shades in place.

"Yo," he said, looking at the two, who sat nearly cuddling under the green, fluffy blanket.

"Oh-um… Hi, Dave," John said smiling. Karkat just sat there awkwardly, a smear of chocolate on the corner of his mouth.

"Nice to see you finally come home. Sup, Vantas? Anyways, Bro and I are going out. Kanaya wanted me to tell you okay on the costumes. Anyway, peace out." With that, the white haired boy turned around, closing the door a little too hard. Karkat sat up, a sound almost like a purr escaping as he stretched. John felt his lips curling into a a few more days until the Halloween Dance on Saturday.

The next day at school, Kanaya came up to John in Gym while Karkat was distracted. Dirk had brought Lil Cal once again, so Dave was on top of the bleachers screaming as his brother threw the doll up with him. Karkat was watching the spectacle, Dave throwing Lil Cal down, and Dirk throwing him up again. Dave was pleading for his older brother to stop.

"So, Karkat's suit is coming along well. Yours is too, of course," Kanaya said, turning to watch the trio alongside John.

"That's great, Kanaya! Karkat knows that you're making him a suit, but won't he be surprised?" John laughed. The entire class period consisted only of Dirk and Dave throwing the puppet back at forth.

When lunch came around, Kanaya sat with them, sipping a bottle of an unknown red substance, which looked a lot like tomato juice, through a curly straw. Dave had lost his voice, so he sat sipping a bottle of apple juice in silence. Karkat and John sat with knees touching under the table, both not caring to move them, but a small blush was ever prominent on Karkat's cheeks.

"Kanaya and I are being vampires for the Halloween Dance," Rose said, looking up from her knitting. Kanaya smiled, the "tomato juice" stuck to her fang-like teeth.

"I'm being a clown, man. Tavros said he was gonna be Peter Pan, that's a motherfuckin' miracle. I met a new kid today, too. His name's Sollux," Gamzee said, digging a handful of Karkat's cheetos out of the bag.

"Oh, I know who that is. He's in our History, and Algebra classes, Gamzee. The kid with the fucking lisp," Karkat said, giving Gamzee an annoyed look as he took the cheetos. John and Karkat decided not to speak about the previous two days outside their music sessions, but John found himself reluctant to return Karkat's sweet smelling clothes.

The rest of the day went by with little incident. The doctors notes were accepted, no questions asked, and Karkat even began chatting it up with Sollux. The boy had shaggy brown hair and two different colored eyes, one blue, and one a golden brown, which were framed by round glasses. Sollux did indeed have a lisp, but it was kind of charming once you got used to it.

Karkat met up with John in the music room after school, violin in case. John waited patiently on his piano bench.

"Hey Karkat, remember when you played me that Little House song?"

"Yeah…"

"I want to hear you play it on violin. You said you could… and, would you sing it for me?" Karkat felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he rubbed a hand through his thick black hair.

"You really want me to? I mean, I'm terrible," Karkat sighed, setting down his violin and quickly encasing it.

"Yeah, I'm positive! C'mon, Karkat, please!" John begged, batting his large blue eyes. Karkat sighed deeply and nodded.

"Fine, Egbert, I'll sing you to fucking sleep if you keep up those puppy eyes," Karkat said, smiling lopsidedly. He hitched up the violin, placing his fingers strategically, and gently placing his bow on the string. He drew it across, creating a soft resonance while his fingers danced on the thin strings.

_"I love this place…_

_But it's haunted, without you._

_My tired heart_

_Is beating so slow._

_Our hearts sing less_

_Than we wanted_

_We wanted._

_Our hearts since 'cause_

_We do not know_

_We do not know."_

Karkat sang, his eyes half closed. John was transfixed on Karkat's soft voice and subtle movements with the violin. John sighed dreamily, resting his elbow on his knee, and chin in his hand, swaying slowly with the music.

_"To light the night_

_To help us grow_

_To help us grow!_

_It is not said_

_I always know."_

Karkat was secretly watching John's sweet expression. He had to hold back an endeared smile as he sang.

_"You can catch me_

_Don't you run_

_Don't you run._

_If you live another day_

_In this Happy little house_

_The fires here to stay"_

Karkat began the chorus again, eye closing completely. He finished the last few chords and brought the violin down, eyes shooting open when warm hands touched his cheeks. He was staring John in the face, who looked like he had a few tears shining in his smiling eyes.

"You are the best singer I've ever heard. Karkat, you're so amazing," John said, thumb brushing a sharp cheekbone. Red poured into Karkat's cheeks; they now glowed warmer than John's hands, which cradled his face softly. They stood like that, breathing stilled, just looking at each other, before John gently lowered his hands back to his sides, fingers brushing the scar on Karkat's neck before they dropped.

Karkat shivered as the fingertips brushed his neck. The scar had always been sensitive. They decided to postpone the sessions until after the Halloween Dance.

The days flew by in a flurry of talk, erratic Gym classes, and costume discussions. Kanaya informed Karkat that they would all be changing at the dance, so only to bring his violin.

Saturday morning, Karkat woke up; he unfurled himself from the pillow John had slept on, as it still smelled like him. He rolled out of bed, checking the clock. It was nearing noon, and the dance was set for 6pm. Karkat trudged to the shower.

He got in and lathered up his hair with shampoo, singing quietly as he did so. He poured a palm full of body wash on a scrub brush, and began washing his body. He squirted some face wash on his fingers and began massaging his sleepy face. His fingers touched the scar on his neck and he froze, thinking about John's fingers, and how they had been in the same place.

John's long fingers that had brushed his cheek, and touched his scar, and stroked along his collarbone. John's fingers that elegantly played the piano, and had wrapped around his own on Monday night. John's fingers, John's hands. _**John.**_

Karkat rinsed away the shampoo, and his soapy body, before scrubbing conditioner into his hair, and letting it set, making his hair ridiculously soft and shiny. Karkat found himself singing more love songs than he remembered knowing, everything from the Beatles, to Adele. He quickly rinsed himself off, anxious to get out of the shower that made him think so much.

He got out; wrapping himself up in two towels, and went to go wake up Gamzee. He pounded on the door until Gamzee opened it slowly, bloodshot eyes peeking out from underneath crazy black hair.

"You need to take a shower and start getting ready," Karkat instructed, like a caring parent. Gamzee smiled at the towel on his head.

"Okay, best friend. I'm going." Gamzee continued to yank off his shirt; the long scar on his shoulder was paler than the rest of his golden skin. He stepped carefully past Karkat, and headed across the room to the bathroom.

Karkat took a quick glimpse into Gamzee's room and sighed. It was a mess. He checked the towel around his hips, and charged in, cleaning extra quickly. His best friend always took short showers, not caring to stand under the hot water, or sing.

Get in, wash, and get out. That's how Gamzee operated. Karkat left the drugs on his desk alone, but put piles of dirty laundry in baskets, and gathered old bags and Faygo bottles to throw away.

He finished and went back to his own room before Gamzee finished his shower. He heard the honking laughter coming from the next room when his best friend saw the cleaning. Karkat smiled slightly and combed his nearly dry hair. It still stuck up everywhere, so he looked on his dresser. A small can of waxy gel that smelled like saffron and chocolate sat on the surface next to his deodorant. Karkat dipped his fingers in and warmed the product up, before slicking back his hair. The back feathered out and one section escaped, flipping downward next to his pointy ear.

Karkat made sure his hair was set back before checking the clock. It was already 4. He had spent close to two hours in the shower. After pulling on a pair of black jeans and a black zipper hoodie, Karkat headed into the kitchen to make something of a substantial lunch for the two of them.

"Gamzee! Food's ready!" he called at 4:30. Gamzee emerged from his room in a small puff of smoke, obviously high, and clean faced. Karkat placed a large plate of tacos in front of him, and Gamzee's face lit up into a smile. Karkat had made two for himself, and piled them high with cheese. They sat across from each other, talking about how excited they were for that night. Karkat was a little less excited than Gamzee, who was raving about the kids in his art class and their costumes.

Gamzee sure made friends easily, unlike Karkat. Karkat almost took pride on how difficult it was to befriend him. He sat, chewing the taco slowly, wondering what had made John and Gamzee so different.

Karkat brushed his teeth after eating, and at 5:30, Gamzee walked in, in his clown costume. His black hair was pushed up under a rainbow wig, and dark purple suit was adorned with rainbow polka dots. His face paint was normal, but he had added a large red nose, and held a honking horn.

"How do I look, man?"

"Absolutely terrifying to small children, Gamzee. So fucking amazing," Karkat said, taking in the sight of his friend. Karkat's costume was currently in Kanaya's hands, and all he had to bring to the school was his violin. They headed out, Karkat's sleek violin case clasped tightly in his hand. It was only a short while before they met up with Dave and John. John had two garment bags instead of one, and Dave was already dressed in his outfit.

Completely shirtless, with 6-pack abs twitching in the freezing cold air. A leather skirt that went to his knees was the only covering Dave's body. Large golden and leather sandals wrapped up his legs, and a sword and shield occupied his hip, and arm. Two golden disks rested on either shoulder, and a flowing red cape extended down close to the ground. Golden helmet was adorned with red crystals, and sunglasses were the only things still really defining Dave, besides snow-white hair.

"I have our costumes, Karkat. Kanaya and Rose decided to get ready together, so I've been entrusted with ours!" John explained the extra garment bag as Gamzee and Dave stared at each other.

"Sick afro, Makara."

"That cape is motherfuckin' awesome." They exchanged, Karkat and John looked at each other as the two discussed each others costume. They all walked together into the school, Karkat and John heading to the music room to change where they would get some privacy.

Karkat was ambushed as soon as he walked in, John tying a blindfold around his face.

_"What the **fuck** is going on?" _ Karkat shouted as he reached up to tear away the restraint on his eyes. John held his wrists.

"Calm down, Karkat. I don't what you to see your costume yet," John whispered into Karkat's ear, a smile could clearly be heard in his tone. Karkat relaxed and shuttered as he felt John remove his hoodie. Karkat heard a sharp intake of breath. John had finally seen Karkat's full scar.

"Oh my god, Karkat…" John whispered, his fingers tracing over the thick, knotted line that ran all the way down his body. Karkat stiffened, and his fists gripped the edges of the piano bench to keep from shoving John away. "You have such a nice body…" John whispered, and Karkat could feel John's eyes staring at him.

"What?" came Karkat's exasperated reply, toned pectorals clenched as John's hand flattened against it.

"Your body is amazing! You're so muscular!" John said, removing his hand, and Karkat blushed hard. He felt himself being stood up, and arms slipped into what felt like a silk shirt.

_Kanaya really outdid herself with these costumes…_ Karkat thought while John buttoned up the buttons. Next came what felt like a bowtie. Karkat jumped back when he felt pressure on his pants.

"Whoa, whoa. I can take off my own god damn pants, Egbert." Karkat hissed, pushing the hand away. John laughed and watched as a blindfolded Karkat struggled to remove the faded black jeans. John helped him step into the new pants, and quickly buttoned them before Karkat could protest. John slipped each of Karkat's arms into a suit coat with full tails, and assisted him in putting on a pair of dress shoes.

"Can I take this damn blindfold off yet?"

"Not until I'm dressed!" John laughed, quickly stripping down, donning a green, sequined and glittery suit. His normal tie was red, and shoes dark black.

"Now?"

"No, one last thing." Karkat heard the snaps of his violin case opening, and felt the cold chain of his Mom's locket around his neck. The case was snapped closed again, and John placed it in Karkat's hand, before taking the other one.

"Can I please take of this blindfold?" Karkat whined, getting tired of being visionless. How did Terezi deal with it? John dragged Karkat out, and toward the large gym where the dance was being held. Right before they entered in the empty side doors, John whipped off Karkat's blindfold, and rushed in with him.

Karkat looked down at his costume, stunned.

He was in a bright red sequined suit, bowtie the color of John's suit. His silk shirt was a dark pink, and John's was black. John had a large black top hat on his head, which had a red band around it. They matched.

_"I'll fucking kill you, John,"_ Karkat hissed, taking in the sight of them both.

"Oh, but you look so cute! C'mon Karkat, we can be musicians together for your half, but to me, you're my lovely assistant!" John argued, patting his cheek affectionately. Karkat scanned around the darkened gym; Dave was staring at them, trying to contain his laughter. Gamzee was chatting with Tavros, who was, indeed, dressed as Peter Pan, and Sollux, who was dressed as a very large bee.

Rose and Kanaya approached.

"Wow, John, you still have your head. Congratulations! I was sure Karkat was going to kill you." They both were wearing form fitted black dresses, long red capes billowed around them, and Rose had large fake fangs protruding, while Kanaya's seemed real.

"I don't plan on killing him here. Maybe when we leave later," Karkat growled, realizing the grip he had on John's sleeve seemed too intense. John used this to pull Karkat toward the drink table, where Gamzee and his crowed had gathered. Nepeta was also with him, dressed in cat ears, and a tail.

"Hey motherfuckers, don't you two look snazzy!" he chuckled, and Karkat glared at him. Suddenly, they all caught sight of Dirk.

Dirk strider was dressed in a much more ironic costume than his little brother could ever hope to accomplish. In a blue pigtailed wig, gray skirt, stuffed bra, and gray and blue half shit, Dirk was rocking a full on Hatsune Miku costume.

And he didn't look half bad.

Dave looked horrified as Dirk carried around his flamingo, eventually going over and talking to Jake, who was dressed as Indiana Jones. The Roman rushed over to the group, who were also watching.

"I'm not related to him, okay? I'm not his little brother. I've never seen that man in my life," Dave said, voice cracking with embarrassment.

"HEY, LITTLE BRO! HEY, DAVE! HEY LOOK! WE'RE BOTH WEARING SKIRTS!" Dirk shouted from across the room, which made Dave hunch up, and half the school stare straight at him.

"John, could you use some of that magic and kill me? Vantas? Anybody? Please? Oh my god."

"Oh C'mon, Dave. It'th not that bad, ith it? Dirk ith pretty cool, you thould be proud to be hith little brother," Sollux said, bee antenna flopping over his mismatched eyes.

John managed to pull Karkat out onto the dance floor twice, once for Safety Dance, and once for a slow song, which they awkwardly held each others sleeves for. Karkat noticed Eridan, dressed as Poseidon, and Equius, dressed as a professional wrestler, watching them. Vriska was dressed as a giant spider, but seemed preoccupied with harassing Tavros, until Gamzee stepped in angrily.

Once they got off the dance floor, Eridan approached.

"So happy to see we helped bring a Prince and his Princess together, aren't we Equius?" he sneered, crown tipped slightly to the side.

"Coming from a guy who's wearing a skirt that looks like a mermaid tail, I'm not all that offended," Karkat growled, fist clenching. Eridan rose his eyebrows high, anger spreading across his face.

"Equius, maybe I'd have taken more offense at that, but since I think he's too fucking stupid to string together an audible sentence, I don't really have anything to worry about. C'mon, John, let's go find Gamzee," Karkat insulted, turning away. He felt a firm hand clasp around his sparkly shoulder, and whipped around.

"You should watch yourself, Kar. We run the school. If we don't like you, which we don't, we'll make your life hell." Eridan's smirk was large, and Karkat's eyebrows rose in amused disbelief.

"My life is already hell. You don't know the meaning of living hell. You fucking try it, because I can deal with whatever bullshit you decide to throw at me," Karkat laughed darkly, before turning on his heel. John had just watched, mouth agape. Karkat dragged him away, and John stopped him, noticing Karkat's shaking shoulders.

"We should go for a walk."

"Let me go tell Gamzee," Karkat sighed, rushing over to his clown friend and explaining. Gamzee nodded in understanding. Karkat quickly left the school with John violin case gripped firmly in his fingers. It was nearing 10pm, and the stars twinkled above them.

Karkat's deep breaths were shaky as they strolled along, and John felt his hand instinctively slip into Karkat's. Karkat didn't resist, and instead squeezed back comfortingly.

"I'm fine, John. Really, I'm fine. I don't like being around a lot of people, so that was kinda stressful," Karkat said, looking up at the sky.

"I know, Karkat. I'm sorry I made you wear the matching suit. You made a lovely assistant. The best any magician could ask for," John said, eyes going up to the sky as well.

They broke into the swing set clearing, and each took their swings. No streetlamps were there; only the full moon illuminated the two.

"A full moon on Halloween... Kinda creepy, huh?" John stated, staring up at the light yellow orb in the sky.

"I like the moon… It's pretty…" Karkat whispered, eyes not leaving John's face. Their suits softly glowed in the moonlight, and Karkat noticed John's tie was crooked.

"Stand up, John," Karkat mumbled, getting to his feet. John obeyed, and faced Karkat. Pale fingers slipped up, tightening, and correcting the tie. John's fingers covered Karkat's, and they looked at each other.

"Karkat?"

"Yeah, Egbert?"

As they stared into each others eyes in silence, they started to lean in subconsciously. Their eyes began to close, both barely open.

"Hi."

Their lips only a hairs distance apart when Karkat whispered a sentence he had uttered once before, his lips upturned into a small smile.

"You're hopeless, John."

Karkat pressed his lips slowly against John's. He didn't back away, but rather pressed back, accepting the kiss. Karkat's hand pressed against John's chest, pulling his tie slightly. An arm wrapped around his friend's neck, drawing him closer. John had wrapped his arm around Karkat's hips, as his hand found Karkat's cheek. They breathed in each others essence, never wanting the moment to end.

Eyes closed, heads tilted, and breathing synchronized, they kissed under the full moon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> like I said, arc chapters happen a lot, ahaha.

Karkat pulled away first, and John's lips followed him, searching for their partner. They both stood, eyes opening slowly, and breath coming out in shallow rasps.

"John…?" Karkat began, his voice so quiet it was barely audible.

"Yeah, Karkat?"

"Kiss me again." Karkat's cheeks were aflame. John smiled slightly before leaning in and placing his lips on Karkat's once more. The kiss was shorter, and so sweet Karkat heard a small whimper escape his own mouth. As their lips separated, they both couldn't help but want more.

"Karkat..." John whispered. Karkat hummed in return, staring at John's lips. "That person you said you liked..." he started, but got cut off by Karkat.

"Yes, dumbass. I wouldn't just make out with you for no reason," he grumbled. "And what about you? I thought you weren't a homosexual."

John bit his lip, trying to think of a response to that. "I... still don't know what I am. But... I really like you, Karkat. A lot," he finally said.

Karkat stared at him with a confused expression. "How could you like someone like me? Even in a romantic sense?" he questioned. "I mean, it's not like-" He was interrupted as John pressed his lips back onto Karkat's.

"You talk to much," he giggled. "Besides, stop being so down on yourself." Karkat opened his mouth to reply, but John put his finger to his lips, shooshing him. "No arguing. Now back to this..." And he pressed his lips back against Karkat's once more. Karkat grumbled in response, wrapping his arms around Johns frame. John returned the embrace with a smile. And all was perfect.

"Tonight was my first kiss, John…" Karkat muttered as they separated once more, looking deep into his blue eyes, blush becoming brighter.

"R-really?" John stammered, embarrassed.

"Yeah… Best first kiss I ever could have asked for." The smile was small, but the most genuine thing John had ever seen on Karkat's face. They stayed entangled, noses touching, for what seemed like an hour. Finally, when they separated, Karkat looked awkwardly at his shoes.

"How do we... um… tell… people?" Karkat glanced up nervously.

"Karkat, we don't have to tell anyone if we don't want to. I mean, whatever makes you most comfortable." John confirmed, cupping Karkat's face gently in his big hand. Karkat nuzzled it slightly, his big, catlike eyes batting at John.

Oh my god, Karkat is so cute… John thought, biting his lip to keep from smiling. He darted in again, placing a final peck on Karkat's soft lips.

"Let's head back, okay?" Karkat stammered. His heart was racing a mile a minute. John nodded, Karkat picking up his violin case. He touched the smooth locket around his neck and glanced up at the sky. His smile was still there, and the full moon seemed to mirror happiness with it's roundness.

They walked side-by-side, Karkat's finger curling, and uncurling. "Hey, John? Can I hold your hand?" Karkat asked shyly, John laughed and slipped his hand in Karkat's, interlocking their fingers. Their hands fit together perfectly.

"Was that really your first kiss, Karkat?" John wondered aloud, and Karkat gave a short yes. "Haven't you dated anyone else?" Karkat's fingers tightened.

"Yeah, Terezi from the coffee shop. We dated for a little while… We never kissed or anything. She licked my face once, but I don't think that counts," Karkat grumbled, John's laughter echoing in the night air.

"Why did she do that?" he asked, trying to contain his giggles.

"She said I smelled good enough to eat, or something," Karkat sighed, shaking his head, small smile returning.

"Well, Karkat, I can vouch for that. You smell absolutely delicious, and if you haven't noticed, I haven't returned your tie yet," John said, hinting.

"You kept my tie? To smell? What the fuck, John? That's super creepy," Karkat gasped, shocked at the revelation. John laughed again, resulting in a small chuckle from Karkat.

"Well, I'll be honest, I woke up the past few days curled up in the pillow you slept on. You smell pretty fucking good yourself," the pale boy admitted, skin seeming to glow in the moonlight. They were wandering aimlessly around the campus, trying to avoid going back to the dorms.

John finally walked Karkat back to his dorm, the time nearing midnight.

"God dammit, Egbert. You and your chivalry," Karkat hissed when he realized what his boyfriend had done. John smiled, and kissed his cheek.

"Goodnight, Karkat," he whispered into the pointed ear, before he turned, heading away. Karkat entered his dorm, where Gamzee sat smoking.

"Oh, you're not asleep yet?" Karkat asked, surprised his friend was still awake.

"Naw, motherfucker, I was worried about you. Wanted to make sure you got home alright, best friend," Gamzee croaked, clown costume replaced with pajamas.

"Oh, well, thanks. I'm gonna go grab a shower, okay?" Karkat fidgeted, heading away.

"Best friend, what's all up in your brain?" Gamzee said, noticing the nervous behavior. Karkat stopped. How could he tell his best friend?

"JohnandIareharmding," Karkat mumbled under his breath, jumbling words together. Gamzee smiled at his back, knowing exactly what Karkat had meant.

"Congrats, man. I know you liked that motherfucker," Gamzee honked happily. Karkat flushed and rushed away to the shower.

When he emerged, hair sticking up everywhere, he could hear Gamzee's snoring away in his bedroom. Karkat approached his own bedroom, smiling at the thought of how understanding Gamzee had been. He touched his throat, gently removing the necklace, and placed it on his bedside table along with his phone.

Today was a good day, Karkat thought as he switched off his light, snuggling into his bed, and quickly drifting off.

The next morning, Karkat awoke to the vibrate of his phone on the wooden table. He picked it up, flipping open the screen.

_"hey karkat! good morning! i had a lot of fun last night, thank you. anyway, wanna hang out? we can do whatever you like!"_

Karkat smiled at the cell phone screen, quickly texting back.

_"SURE, WHY DON'T WE WATCH MOVIES AT MY PLACE TODAY?"_

_"sure! when can i come over?"_

_"ANYTIME, DUMBASS."_

Karkat lept out of bed, quickly grabbing his dark brown hoodie and gray skinny jeans. He left his room and sat himself down on the couch, Gamzee still snoring away. After about 20 minutes, a soft knock came at the door. Karkat let John in, and smiled shyly at his boyfriend.

John got comfortable on the sofa, noticing the pillow and fluffy blanket laying on one of the cushions. Karkat returned to the living room with an armful of snacks, and set them on the table.

"What are we watching?" John asked as Karkat plucked a DVD from near the TV.

"Titanic. Be quiet and watch the movie," Karkat said, leveling his eyes to John's. John held back a smile and nodded; Karkat could be so threatening with his romance. Karkat returned to the sofa and wrapped himself up in the blanket, the red fuzz making a hooded cloak over his head and body. His legs tucked up underneath him. He laid a bag of cheetos and starburst in the divot between his legs.

John watched Karkat more than the movie, whereas Karkat's eyes were transfixed to the screen. They watched in mutual silence, John slowly scooting over until he was snuggled up with Karkat. The continuous chewing from Karkat was mechanical, and John found his automatic movements amusing. He pushed the cheetos bag a little out of Karkat's reach, so when his hand reached for another, it frantically flailed until it found the mouth of the bag.

Karkat found himself sniffling quietly as the movie neared its end. Jack was holding Rose, and they were saying their vows to each other. John looked up when something wet hit his cheek, and found a crying boyfriend.

Karkat sat sniffling as Jack disappeared into the water, and John felt himself gnawing on his lips.

_Oh my god, Karkat is so cute. I can't even… Oh my god,_ John thought, before grabbing Karkat's cheeks and kissing him outright. Karkat's lips were semi parted in shock, and John quickly took advantage of that, drawing Karkat's bottom lip in his mouth gently. Karkat finally snapped out of his surprise and kissed back greedily, shifting to fit better between John's outstretched legs. John smiled in the kiss and pulled Karkat on top of him, reclining back so they were lying down.

Karkat was the first to slip John the tongue, which seemed to surprise them both. After a few moments of wrestling around, Karkat's tongue became victorious, and got the chance to explore. John could taste the starburst that lingered in his mouth, and traced along Karkat's lips.

"Awe, Shit man. I didn't mean to all up in see you having sloppy makeouts," came a groggy, yet shocked voice. Karkat pulled his head away, turning to face Gamzee, who stood rubbing a tired eye with the heel of his hand, completely calm.

"Gamzee, why are you awake? It's only 4 o'clock," Karkat hissed, John's face was cherry red.

"Oh, see best friend, I was gonna go meet Tav for some grubbin', and I didn't know you motherfuckers were here. Sorry, man," Gamzee explained while Karkat scooted to the opposite end of the couch. John started laughing when Gamzee walked away. Karkat turned to see him staring at his phone.

"What the fuck, John?"

"Oh my god, Karkat, look." He handed over the phone, which showed a text message from Dave.

_"I just walked in on Dirk making out with Jake, the science teacher. Fuck my life."_

Karkat's roaring laugh echoed throughout the dorm room. He curled inwardly until the chuckle died to a multitude of little squeaks. John stared wide eyed, smile splayed across his cheeks. He leaned in again and kissed Karkat's cheek, causing even more squeaks to erupt. Karkat was obviously pleased, and his happiness was contagious.

Karkat calmed down, wiping happy tears from his face while John massaged Karkat's sore cheeks. He felt like he had pulled a muscle in both cheeks, where his dimples were.

"Jooohhhhhhnnnnnn," Karkat whined, laying his head into John's lap, looking up at the boy who was rubbing his face.

"What, Karkat?" John giggled, booping his nose.

"Can we continue where we left off, before Gamzee interrupted?" Karkat's smile was sly, and mischievous. John's eyebrows perked up and nodded.

"Sure thing, Princey," he said affectionately, leaning down and placing his lips on Karkat's once more.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter gets a bit... sensual toward the end.
> 
> did I just use the word sensual? 
> 
> God dammit.

Karkat, again woke up to a dorky good morning text from John on Monday. It seemed like such an unJohnlike thing to do, but it made Karkat smile as he got dressed and made breakfast. Gamzee, too, was in an excellent mood after his dinner with Tavros. They both had big smiles on their faces, Karkat's cheeks still sore from all the exerciser yesterday. Karkat wore his signature red tie, and ever neat school uniform, minus his bunchy skinny jeans.

Karkat almost floated into school and to his locker. John spotted him, smiling widely.

"Hey, John!" Karkat said, leaning up against the locker next to his.

"Hey, Karkat! I had fun yesterday! We totally need to do it again soon," John said, nuzzling Karkat's nose in an eskimo kiss. Karkat blushed and jerked his head away, smacking into the locker with a clang.

"Owwwww, Johhhnnnnn," Karkat whined, rubbing the back of his head. John fluttered around Karkat worriedly. Karkat found himself smiling at his boyfriend's concern and notified him it was just a bump.

"I… I don't want to do that stuff in public yet… I mean… why would you even want too? I'm-" He was silenced by a finger over his lips, making Karkat puff up his cheeks and furrow his eyebrows.

"Shoosh, I want to hear none of that. You are my boyfriend, and I am perfectly fine if you don't want any PDA yet, okay? So shut up, we can make up for it in private." John winked, removing his finger from Karkat's lips. Karkat crinkled his nose, confused.

"I meaaaannnn, we can make up for what we don't show in public by doing more in private, you dork," John giggled. Karkat let out a little squeak of joy, or embarrassment, his face going fuchsia. John giggled even more as they headed to class, back of their hands brushing the entire way.

Karkat found his usual giraffe doodles littered with hearts, and even two small giraffes touching noses. He was absurdly content, but still a little flustered from that morning's eskimo kiss. He hurried along to gym after his first class and smiled at John. They stood next to each other, and wrapped their pinky fingers around each others for a small connection.

They went to go change, quickly transitioning from suit jackets to shorts and wife beaters. They walked out to dodge ball, talking with Kanaya and Dave about how awesome the dance had been. Dirk came out of his office still wearing the Hatsune wig. Dave facepalmed, groaning loudly as Dirk remained completely poker faced.

"He hasn't taken the fucking thing off since Saturday," Dave grumbled, readjusting his sunglasses on his freckled nose. Dodge ball was as erratic as the first day, as Karkat and John being put on opposite teams.

Karkat beamed Dave in the face once, causing him to keel over in laughter, then get hit by John in the poofy hair, only resulting in even more laughter when the foamy sphere bounced off the crown of his head. Karkat literally crawled to the sidelines that marked out, laughing over getting to beam Strider in the face. J-pop blasted around them, and all seemed right in that class.

Come lunchtime, Karkat's nerves had settled, and he scooted up close to John on the bench with a bag of cheetos ready to be devoured. They didn't notice anything unusual, except their friends were fidgeting, and the room seemed oddly still. Dave nudged Gamzee, who was sitting next to him, and Gamzee cleared his throat. The two boys looked at each other, then to Gamzee.

"Uh… you might not want to loom behind you, motherfuckers…" Gamzee said, his eyebrows knitting together in concern. They both were instantly curious and turned around, only to become horrified. A large white banner had been unfurled, and on it was John's face photoshopped onto a Disney princess, and Karkat's on the prince. The two fake figures were in a kiss, and next to them in a large red heart were the words _**"PRINCESS EGBERT AND PRINCE VANTAS."**_

Karkat was the first to turn around, body trembling slightly in anger. The cheeto in his hand was reduced to nothing but powder, and his upper lip curled back in a vicious snarl.

"Ampora. Fuck him. Fuck this." He stood up, John reaching up to comfort him, but his hand was slapped away. Fists clenched, Karkat stormed out in silence while kids laughed, and some even threw things at him. John was infuriated and jolted up, Dave gripped his wrist. John shook free and blazed a path right to the table where Vriska, Eridan, Equius, and a girl named Aradia sat. The three bullies were laughing hysterically at the performance they had set up.

"Eridan," John hissed, Eridan stood up, crossing his arms.

"You bitch!" John shouted, swinging his fist right into Eridan's jaw, making him stumble back, crashing down atop the table. Vriska watched as John raced out after his boyfriend, small smile crossing her lips.

John found Karkat in the gym locker room, sitting on the floor hunched in the corner, book propped open on his lap. John slid down next to him and noticed the faint tear tracks that were drying on his cheekbones. John tried to hold Karkat's hand, but was denied as the pale fingers slid under their owner's leg.

"I'm sorry," Karkat whispered, still staring at his book.

"Karkat, I-" John was cut off as Karkat continued, voice strong.

"No, listen. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm this awful thing that got you sucked into this joke. We would have laughed it off if it weren't fucking true. I fuck everything up, and I didn't want to pull you into this, John… I didn't want you to get hurt… I am… so… sorry." Karkat's voice wavered and cracked as he reached the end of his speech. John saw a faint sparkle in the dingy lighting, as another tear slid down the pale face.

John reached over and pulled Karkat into his lap, entangling his hand in Karkat's hair, as the other held him securely around the waist. He heard a soft hiccups and whimpers from Karkat and simply rubbed his back, comforting him. Karkat nestled into John's chest, gripping onto his sleeve tightly, knees tucked up to his chin. They heard the bell ring faintly, but they didn't move.

Dirk walked into the locker room silently once, seeing the two together, he smiled slightly. He had heard what had happened and decided not to lock up the room, since he had no more gym classes.

The two stayed in their position, talking quietly about what to do about the whole situation. When the final bell rang, a sleepy Karkat, and contended John exited the locker room and hurriedly snuck out a back entrance to the school, making sure to be unseen.

They interlocked fingers again and headed toward John's dorm house, avoiding all people. They easily slipped into John's dorm room. John smiled at Dave, who sat on the couch.

"Nice punch, Egbert. Seriously, that was wicked," he said, gazing at them blankly. Karkat looked at John flustered.

" _Punch?_ Who did you punch, John? Are you okay? Did you get in trouble? Are you hurt?" Karkat's worried tone came in a rush, and John simply dragged him away toward his bedroom.

They sat cross legged on John's bed, tossing Gushers at each others open mouths, trying to get the fruit snacks in the crevice. John had terrible aim, and managed to get at least four gushers in Karkat's hair.

"John, we really need to talk about… _us_ …" Karkat said, picking the blue and green fruit gummies from the mop of hair.

"Okay, I think we should. You need to know that I'm your boyfriend, and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy." John smiled, taking Karkat's hand and kissing it, Karkat's face flushing in return.

"God dammit, I know. You're such a perfect fucking human being. If I didn't seriously want to have this fucking conversation I would tackle you and make out with you," Karkat groaned, crossing his legs to slide onto his belly. "Okay, but seriously. John, the entire school pretty much thinks we're already gay now, thanks to Eridan," Karkat sighed, gazing up at John through heavy lashes. John began to rub his hair, causing a sound almost like a purr to rise momentarily in his throat.

"I'm fine with that, Karkat. I'm proud to be your boyfriend, okay?" John giggled, making one of Karkat's half closed eyes to open and look up at him. His blush was prominent, along with a sharp-toothed smile.

"John, but should we… like… tell people?" Karkat asked, loving the affectionate hair rubs.

"Well, can I hold your hand tomorrow? Like… In school? We don't have to jump right out of the queer ocean in queer speedos and go gallivanting on the queer beach. Well at least not yet, okay? Let's take it slow." Karkat tilted his head up and stuck out his lips in an awkward duck face. John took the hint and leaned down to plant a big kiss on his nose. Karkat grabbed John's glasses off his face, smiling slightly, rolling over onto his back.

Karkat studied the thick frames while John squinted to make out Karkat's blurry form. Karkat put the rectangular glasses over his eyes and blinked in shock as his world distorted.

"Oh wow, John, you're fucking blind," he said in awe, looking around his new surroundings. John had finally focused to see Karkat gazing around mystified, eyes enlarged even more by the thick glass over them. John leaned in, pressing his lips to Karkat's. Karkat, still on his back, had little time to resist such an onslaught of affection John's lips were about to bestow on his own.

Quickly pinned down, Karkat felt the slight pressure on his hips when John straddled him. He felt his wrists being brought up above his head, held against the satiny blankets, and quickly began melting into the passionate kiss.

John's lips left Karkat's and kissed along the sharp cheekbone, trailing butterfly smooches down to his neck. He planted a big kiss right around Karkat's scar, searching for something that Karkat didn't realize, until his body was racked with a soft, shallow moan. John smiled and gently bit down right on the lined scar, which brought forth another breathy gasp. He then sucked on it lightly, letting a small groan be exposed onto Karkat's neck, lips vibrating along the sensitive skin.

Karkat whined softly, chest rising up, arms tugging to escape their hold. John smiled slightly into Karkat's smooth neck, planting soft kisses along his collarbone.

"Not so fun being restrained?" He let one of his hangs go and it quickly found John's tie, pulling him back up to his face.

"Kiss me, John. Fucking kiss me," he whispered, taking the glasses off after releasing John's tie.

"Gladly, my prince. I'm yours to command." John slyly smiled, diving into Karkat's soft lips.

Karkat felt his tie being loosened, and jacket thrown to the floor. They wrestled around, shedding their bulky jackets. John sat up to pull off Karkat's shirt, when pale fingers curled around John's wrist tightly, grabbing his attention.

"Not yet, John. Please. Weren't you the one who just said to take it slow?" Karkat blushed and smiled slightly, shy about everything that had just happened. John nodded and shuffled off of Karkat's stomach where he had been sitting. Karkat crossed his legs to cover the result of their actions, which John quickly saw once he put his glasses back on.

Blushes creeped up on both of them as Karkat quickly shoved a pillow on his lap.

"Well, my sweet Prince, looks like you didn't mind my speed."

"I hate you, John," Karkat grumbled, looking away. John kissed his forehead.

"No you don't," he giggled, nuzzling into Karkat's hair, inhaling deeply. They cuddled up to each other, planting random kisses every so often. Despite the drama at school, everything had gone better than expected. Karkat felt himself feeling truly happy for the first time in years, and gave John one long kiss, sweet and soft, to thank him.

"Thanks, John," he whispered, touching an upturned nose to a straightforward one. John sighed peacefully, thinking with joy.

_Today was awesome._


	14. Chapter 14

The start of November brought on new uniforms. The classic gray was replaced with black, and Karkat found himself in need of black pants. He texted John quickly.

_"JOHN. JOHN I NEED YOU TO FUCKING COME SHOPPING WITH ME."_

_"shopping? why shopping?"_

_"THE PANTS THEY SEND ME ARE TOO FUCKING LONG. I NEED BLACK JEANS. WILL YOU COME WITH ME? PLEASE?"_

John smiled at Karkat when he opened the door, his short boyfriend stood in the hallway awkwardly.

"I… thanks for fucking coming, John. Gamzee is hanging out with Tavros… and I don't… really… like… shopping," Karkat mumbled sincerely, rubbing the back of his elbow through his large hoodie. John smiled and told him it was no problem as they headed down to Karkat's car.

They drove down the street, Karkat singing to his music, of course. As they neared the hospital, Karkat seemed to go in a trance and turned on his blinker.

"Um… Karkat?" John asked as they neared the entrance to the hospital, Karkat glanced at him, then back to the road.

"Oh shit, sorry," he said, turning off his blinker and speeding back up. He cursed inwardly. He didn't want to tell John yet. They kept driving for about another 10 minutes before Karkat reached the mall. They parked and Karkat went to go open John's door for him, like he always did.

Karkat shoved his hands deep in his hoodie pocket, happy that they had been given the weekend to make adjustments to their uniforms. The air was getting colder and colder by the day. John noticed Karkat shiver, even though he was in his hoodie. John reached over and slipped his arm in Karkat's, elbows locking together.

"It's like you're fucking escorting me, or something, Egbert," Karkat grumbled, but didn't object. Over the past few days they had slowly worked on showing more affection in public. Hugs and this classic position were the only ones Karkat felt comfortable with yet.

They strolled into the mall. Karkat stopped John at a small shop called Teavana. He darted inside, glancing around at all the large tea pots, bags of tea, and coffee. He went up to the counter where the worker had her back turned. When she turned around, Karkat noticed it was Nepeta from school. Feeling a bit shocked, he adverted his gaze back to the menu hanging above.

"Um… Can I get a… Mochi latte with extra whipped cream?" he asked, releasing John's arm. He pulled out his wallet and paid for his drink. "Want anything, John?" Karkat asked. John shook his head with a small smile.

 _Karkat sure loves tea and coffee,_ John thought, watching as Karkat gazed over the fancy brands of beans and leaves. Nepeta put the order down and thanked them for their service kindly. They both left and Karkat shoved his hand back into his pocket, other cradling the plastic cup.

"It's weird seeing people I know from school outside of school. Especially at their jobs…" Karkat muttered, licking the whipped cream from the edge of his cup.

"Why, Karkat?"

"I don't have a lot of fucking friends. Pretty much you, Kanaya, and Gamzee. I mean, Lalonde and Strider are alright. They're tolerable, but I don't really consider them friends. I've never actually had a job, either, so I guess it feels weird being served by something that fucking sits next to you in class? I don't know, but damn this latte is good," Karkat explained, suddenly enamored by the warm beverage in his hand.

They walked around the mall before finally stopping in front of a Hot Topic.

"I swear to god this is the only fucking place with pants that fit me, okay?" Karkat pleaded when John raised his eyebrows with a smile.

"Right, Karkat. I bet you have loads of eyeliners and everything stashed away in your bathroom," John affectionately teased as they went inside. Karkat handed the latte to John as he looked through stacks of clothes.

"Can I have a sip of this?" John asked, finally smelling the sweet drink.

"Sure, go ahead." He shrugged as John took a large gulp. The drink almost tasted like ice cream and donuts.

"Sweet Jesus."

"It's like fucking unicorns in a cup, isn't it, Egbert?" Karkat laughed, pulling a few pairs of jeans from a stack of black denim. He tried to hide the tag, but John saw the Extra Small sizing before Karkat could conceal it.

"You're an extra small? Oh my god, Karkat, you're so little!" John almost squealed, getting a strong glare from his short boyfriend.

"I will end you, John Egbert," he hissed, eyes squinting. He pulled down a few more things as John looked around, finally seeing a bright red scarf.

"Karkat! Karkat get this," John said putting it around the slender neck of his boyfriend.

"No. I fucking hate scarves!" Karkat whined, but John's puppy dog eyes and quiet whimpers of plead finally made him cave in. They put a mass of black and one stripe of crimson on the counter. Karkat paid quickly. It was always in cash, John realized. How could he never have held a job, when he paid with all cash?

They shopped around, stopping in a pet shop, where Karkat fell in love with a hamster. In the end they bought her, and Karkat decided to named her Kida.

"Why Kida? Why not like Chubby, or something cute?" John asked when they sat down for lunch in the mall food court, boxes of Chinese food in front of them.

"I think Kida is very cute," Karkat said matter-of-factly as he cracked apart a pair of chopsticks. "Have you ever seen Atlantis?"

"The Disney movie? Okay, Karkat, first you watch cute little romance movies, and now Disney. You are the most adorable thing on this earth." John smiled widely as Karkat's nose scrunched up.

"Yes, the Disney movie. I might just love the portrayal that Disney has in their movies. Anyway, Kida was my favorite princess. And before you deny that she wasn't a princess, she was a fucking princess. She was the princess of fucking Atlantis." Karkat sniffed, taking a big bite of his noodles. John used a plastic spork as he watched the skillful fingers of his boyfriend work the two chopsticks more easily than a regular utensil.

Kida watched from inside her travel carrier, eyes wide. Karkat took out the small bag of treats that he had purchased and held it out for her. The tubby Hamster reached out and took the treat in nubby paws, nibbling on the apple scented thing happily. Kida's fur was orange and white spotted, and she had a small line of black on her forehead, which looked like a crown.

"Egbert?" Karkat said as he stared at his new pet.

"Yeah, Karkat?"

"I love this fucking hamster," he sighed, petting her head with a gentle finger.

"Hey, Karkat… How come you've never had to work and can still buy everything you want?" John asked curiously, feeling almost bad for the invading question.

"Well, shit. It's about time you asked," Karkat laughed, looking at John with a melancholy smile. It was the kind of smile that provoked nostalgia and sorrow all in one.

"You already know my dad is a trucker. He makes a decent salary, but that fuck nuts can go die for all I care. I don't want his money. My grandmother, well… My grandmother on my mom's side was a singer, and a great one. She was like Marilyn Monroe, dammit. She sang, and earned money, and taught my mom to sing. Now, my mom is the most gifted musician in the world, I swear. She's brilliant and has the voice of a fucking angel, but she loved the way humans communicated. She went to college and became all sorts of things, but I mainly knew her as a person who loved the language. My mom worked hard at what she did, which has never really been clear, and she had almost a million dollars saved up before she even was pregnant with me." Karkat stopped for a second, his hands quit fidgeting with his chopsticks, and he placed them on the table, folding his hands.

"My mom's brilliant. She said she wanted the best life for me possible, and always worked toward that. She taught me everything I know today, from singing, to my instruments, to my goddamn love for fucking reading. She saved up her entire career, never indulging herself to anything. I can use the bank account my mom set up for us, but I blocked my dad from it now. I never had to work, so I never did." Karkat sighed, looking down at his fingers, long and slender, with pristine nails.

John reached over and took Karkat's hand in his.

"Your mom sounds awesome, Karkat."

"She is, John. My mom is amazing." His other hand went to his wallet and he handed it over. John opened it. Inside was a picture of a woman with long, charcoal black hair, that had one dark gray streak in it. Her skin was pale, and copper doe eyes were squinted as she smiled. She held a boy, about 7, with the same flame eyes, but darker black hair. He held onto the woman tightly, chubby cheeks pink with a flush. The smile on the boys face mirrored the woman's, and around the woman's neck, what the boy held onto, was a slender, heart shaped locket with an S carved into it.

"That's my mom," Karkat whispered, eyes staring at the scratches in the table. "Me and my mom, actually."

John continued to stare at the photo; Karkat took a heavy resemblance from his mom, who was absolutely beautiful.

"She's gorgeous, Karkat! And you were so cute! Not saying you're not cute now, because you're adorable, but you were just so… chubby!" Karkat blushed and looked up at John with a frown.

_"Chubby?"_

"Yeah, I mean… Oh wow that came out wrong… you were just so little! You look so much like her!" John gushed. Karkat took his wallet back, picking up his hamster's carrier.

"I have everything I need, but there's one last thing I want to buy," Karkat said, clearing the table into a nearby trash bin. He dragged John to a little store, crammed between Macy's and Claire's. It was almost invisible, but Karkat ducked in quickly. John followed and found Karkat gazing into a big case, where row upon row of novelties sat. He smiled up at John when the worker laid out two belt buckles, one neon green and in the shape of the smile ghost, the other the Cancer zodiac sign.

"We'll take them," Karkat said as his boyfriend got misty eyed. He paid quickly and handed John his new item.

"Why did you get the Cancer sign, isn't your birthday coming up?"

"My mom was a Cancer, but I act more like one of them than any other of the Zodiac," Karkat chuckled. John hugged his boyfriend tightly.

"Stop buying me such awesome presents. Seriously, first the marshmallows, now this?"

"Shut the fuck up and accept my show of affection, dumbass." Karkat smiled, hugging him back. They headed out of the mall, bags in tow, and hamster gnawing on treats happily. They drove back, both singing along to the music. John had been in Karkat's car long enough to know the order of the music.

John stood in Karkat's tidy room while the skinny boy set up Kida's cage. Fluffy bedding and a little wheel were set orderly inside. Karkat also placed a little dome-and-tube maze up, and finally her provisions, before setting Kida inside. She gazed up at her new owner with big eyes and made a small squeaking noise before running back into his hand.

Karkat giggled and kissed Kida before setting her back in the cage, pushing her bottom lightly so she moved away.

Karkat's so good with animals… There's so much I still don't know, John thought, sitting on the bed while Karkat unpacked his new clothes. He watched the sway of Karkat's hips as he folded his laundry, swaying and humming to music in his head. John stood up, walking over and wrapping his arms around Karkat's hips. Karkat froze when he felt John nestle into his neck.

"J-John?" his voice cracked with nerves as he stopped folding.

"Mmmm?" the bespectacled boy hummed, inhaling the intoxicating scent deeply. He planted kisses along the side of his neck, nuzzling gently as he went. It was soft and loving. Karkat pressed his body up against John's.

"Karkat…" John whispered into his ear breathily.

"Yeah, John?"

"You're my prince charming." He smiled. Karkat turned his head slightly, pressing a soft cheek against John's.

"And you're mine," he replied, before dropping the shirt, twisting around and wrapping his arms around John's neck. They kissed for a long moment, before they heard another squeak. They turned to see Kida sitting on top of her dome, watching them and eating sunflower seeds casually. She could have almost been sighing dreamily as she watched.

"I think my hamster likes when we kiss…" Karkat said in shock. John smiled.

"Good." His lips met Karkat's once more, a soft press that melted Karkat into a case of wobbly knees and heavy breaths. Karkat kissed back as best as he could, which from John's perspective was amazing. Hands entangled in hair and eyes fluttered open and closed, kissing repeatedly before finally they parted.

"I think we've tortured my poor Kida enough, for now," Karkat said with a wide smile. John nodded as they left the room together, arms wrapped around hips and shoulders pressed.

John gave his hoodie to Karkat before he left, and Karkat gave him his. They told each other they would give it back at the end of the week for "refreshing", meaning swapping for another hoodie that smelled like the other. Karkat curled up in bed. Kida had just ceased running on her wheel. They both fell into a peaceful sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: you will get mad at me in this chapter. You will want to kill me. This isn't even the worst yet. 
> 
> Sorry yo.

On Monday, John was at his locker waiting for Karkat, when Vriska approached. He instinctively flinched and hunched up a bit, but was shocked when her mechanical arm didn't lash out at him.

"Heeeeeeeey John," she drawled out, leaning up next to him on the locker that Karkat usually rested upon.

"Vriska… If you're hear to make fun of me, or beat me up, just get it over with before Karkat comes. He'll be here any minute," he said, placing a notebook on the shelf in his locker.

"I'm just here to taaaaaaaalk," she whined, her boys uniform hugging her curvy body.

"Talk about what? That shitty stunt you guys pulled?"

"It was cool how you stuck up to Eridan, pretty hot if you ask me." John felt her hand grip his sleeve, and chest push against his side.

"I'm dating Karkat, Vriska. Continue to pull your stupid pranks if you want, because it won't be long until I pull one on Eridan that will blow him away." John pushed Vriska off his arm and closed his locker, walking down the hall to an approaching Karkat.

The solid black jacket, paired with his black shirt and pants, made the red tie around his neck vibrant, and his orange eyes pop. Karkat looked less tired than usual, and slipped his hand into John's. He had become more comfortable with the thought of holding hands with John, but words like "faggot" and " _gay_ " were often said a little too loudly as they passed.

Karkat heard someone say one such remark and dropped John's hand quickly, pushing his hand into the pocket of his jacket, where he played with a piece of lint. John gave him a sideways glance, and saw Karkat's face staring at the floor, sadness clearly displayed, as much as Karkat tried to hide it.

"Hey, don't listen to them," John said quietly, swinging his arm around Karkat's shoulders and pulling him in closely. "You're my boyfriend, not whatever they have to say." Karkat looked up at John, catlike eyes blinking a few times, before he nodded.

"Okay, John. We've walked down my hallway way too far, you're basically kidnapping me from my classroom," Karkat noticed. John looked up to see they had passed Roxy's room long ago. They turned around, and John dropped Karkat at his classroom with a peck on the cheek. They then went their separate ways. Karkat took his seat next to Nepeta, who smiled shyly at him. He nodded at her politely and brought out his completed homework.

"You always have your homework done, Karkat," came a shy, feline voice. Karkat glanced sideways at Nepeta, who had her head cocked to one side.

"I like fucking English class, is that a problem?" he said, not meaning to sound as mean as he did. Karkat hardly spoke up in the class discussions they often had, but when he did, he proved points nobody else could have ever seen. Karkat truly did love English, and proved it often by these debates. He was matter-of-fact, and supported his findings with details that were often overlooked.

Karkat spoke a little more to Nepeta during that class, but paid close attention when Roxy pulled out a box of books.

"We are starting our Shakespeare unit," she slurred, opening the box to a rather large assortment of Shakespearean novels. "Each take a book dey like, and reab it. I want a book repert by the end of the mawnth." She went and sat at her desk. Karkat rummaged around in his bag while others gathered around the box. Most picked Hamlet or Macbeth, and skirted away from Romeo and Juliet, only a few girls choosing that one. Karkat found what he was looking for, and pulled out what looked like a copy of a book known as "Enclave". He slipped the dust jacket off the beautiful gold cover, revealing a pristinely kept, but slightly dog eared, version of Shakespeare's classic romance/tragedy.

"That's a nice one, I bet you found it at the bottom, huh?" Nepeta noticed. Karkat glanced over, shaking his head.

"This is my copy. I own all of Shakespeare's writing. He was a brilliant man." Karkat looked back at his book, corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile.

"You like reading?"

"I love reading. I fucking adore it. I actually just finished a book called Enclave, and it was pretty neat. I tend to stick to more classic stuff, like Shakespeare, Orwell, Poe, you know." He flipped through the pages, already knowing the entire book by heart. This had been a birthday gift from his grandmother when he was 10, and he read it at least 30 times a season.

His eyes lightheartedly read the text, and he knew he would have to watch the movie when he got home.

At lunch, Karkat slipped his right hand into John's left. "We still on for a session tonight?" he asked, sipping a can of Sprite. John nodded as Karkat opened his mouth, letting John put a red gusher on his tongue. He scrunched his nose at the flavor, and pouted.

Their friends watched, feeling a bit awkward. Well, only Dave really felt awkward. Gamzee seemed too entranced playing with a necklace that hung around Tavros' neck, and Kanaya and Rose paid no mind to them. The two were so happy to be sitting together, John finally earning enough of Karkat's trust to sneak in a quick kiss on the cheek, unprotested.

John sat in the music room, plinking keys on his piano when he heard soft footsteps pad in. He stood and turned around, expecting Karkat, but found a teal streak in brown hair instead.

"What do you want, Vriska?" John snapped, turning to sit back down.

"Now don't be like that, John!" she said, her whiny voice held a weird undertone.

"I'm waiting for my boyfriend," John said sternly, placing his fingers back on the keys, thinking about Karkat's own slender hands. He felt long arms snake around his middle, and Vriska's body mush against his back.

"Karkat's such a loser, though. You're better off with a girl. Someone who can treat you right," she said into his ear. John stiffened, feeling something amiss.

"No, I love Karkat. I just don't know how to tell him, or show him. He's so… fragile, I guess," John sighed, closing his eyes.

"Don't worry about Karkat," came the voice.

"John! Hey, I thought we could pla-" Karkat turned around after closing the music room door, only to see Vriska's mouth pressed against John's, her hands wrapped around his neck tightly.

_"J-John…?"_ came a cracking voice, tears already welling in orange eyes. He dropped his violin case and bolted out the door.

John was still struggling against Vriska, finally pushing her off, and yelped after Karkat. He stood up, staring down at Vriska who had stumbled back. He raised his hand and smacked her hard, before racing out, scooping up the violin case.

John never had a chance to catch up to Karkat, his skinny legs carrying him fast. He didn't even realize he was driving until he stopped automatically in a parking space. He got out, tears still pouring from his eyes. He could vaguely make out the shape of the coffee house, and he scrubbed his face clean on his jacket.

He walked inside, taking his booth. Terezi wasn't working. Terezi's mom came out, and looked down at him.

"Hi, Shannon," Karkat said, voice barely a whisper.

"I see. I'll be right back." Shannon had always held a special motherly sense toward Karkat. She came back a few minuets later, giant mug of hot cocoa covered in whipped cream and caramel. She placed it down, along with a piece of chocolate cake.

"Stay as long as you want." She rubbed his hair caringly, and the small tinkle of a bell made Karkat turn around. A familiar silhouette came and took a table across the shop, seeming not to notice Karkat until the click of his mug made her look up.

Karkat saw the thin legs at the side of the table.

"What?"

"Can, I… um… sit down?" Karkat nodded, and a pad of paper slid along the table, and those legs slipped inside the booth.

"I thought I was the only one who knew about this place."

"I practically live here," Karkat said to his mug, stabbing the cake with his fork.

"Well… um… Karkat… I wanted to tell you something." Orange eyes looked up to big green ones, and a blush spread over the girl's cheeks.

"I've always kinda… liked you…" Nepeta said, quickly looking back at her pad of paper, an amazing drawing of a cat on the front.

"I-… Nepeta… I have a boyfriend… or… had one…" Karkat began, long pauses making Nepeta become curious.

" _Had one?_ Aren't you and John…?"

"I don't fucking know," whispered the raven haired boy, slumped deep in the booth. His head was faced downward, and his shoulders shook. "I just… I can't do anything right." He didn't know why, but he began telling Nepeta everything.

"I saved John from some bullies a few weeks back at the beginning of October. I don't know why, but we became friends. I was stupid enough to fall in love with him. We started going out, and all I've been is a huge fuck up through out the whole relationship. I can't make him happy, and he doesn't even think I trust him, which is the biggest fucking load of bullshit. I just walked in on him and Vriska kissing, and I don't even know what to do. I don't even know why the fuck I'm here, or telling you this. I love him, and… and… fuck." Karkat released his tears, head crashing down on the table in a slump.

Nepeta sat, shocked. She had no idea Karkat could talk so much. She reached across and rubbed his hair lightly, petting the shaking boy.

"If I know Vriska at all, it was all her fault. Don't worry, okay? I'm sure everything will be fine." Karkat's head nodded, thumping his forehead twice on the brown wood. Nepeta left him sitting alone, and hours passed, Karkat's head laying against that table.

John raced around the campus, looking everywhere he could think: the swing set, the locker room. He pounded on the dorm room door, and a distraught looking Gamzee opened it.

"Karkat? Is he here?" John begged, but Gamzee only became more anxious.

"Naw, man, I thought he was with you. He won't answer his phone!" Gamzee exclaimed, teeth clenching. John's desperation only grew when he learned that, so he bolted away. He ran all the way back to his dorm, and smacked into Dave before he could slow down.

"Yo, Egbert, what's up?"

"Karkat's missing, Dave. I've looked everywhere," John said, tears finally slipping from crystal blue eyes. Dave was shocked to see his best friend crying and quickly wrapped him up in an awkward hug. John buried his face in Dave's tee shirt and cried, letting the tall albino rub his back.

"I'm sure Vantas just went to the movies. I'm sure he'll be back soon, okay? Calm your shit, bro," Dave said, closing his eyes behind black shades. He knew how much Karkat meant to John, and how worried he must be.

"Hey, Dave?"

"Yeah, Egbert?"

"Thanks." Dave was given a short hug, before John stepped away, disappearing into his music room, the lock solidly sliding into place. The clank from that lock echoed through the entire place, empty, and sorrow filled.

John sat at his baby grand, fingers gently moving over keys, and voice quaking as lyrics softly came from his lips.

_"And it starts_

_Sometime around Midnight_

_At least that's when you lose yourself_

_For a minute or two…_

_And you stand, under the bar lights_

_The band is playing some song about forgetting yourself for a while_

_And the piano is this melancholy soundtrack to her smile._

_And that white dress she's wearing, you haven't seen her for a while."_

Tears slid down his cheeks while he sang, hopes crushed. Karkat had finally trusted him, finally felt a little more comfortable, then Vriska had to show up. He began to feel a little more angry, with himself, with Vriska, with the world. His playing became stronger, as did his voice, carrying out.

_"But you know_

_That she's watching!_

_She's laughing she's turning_

_She's holding her tonic like a cross._

_The room's suddenly spinning,_

_She walks up and asks how you are._

_So you can smell her perfume,_

_You can see her lying naked in your arms."_

The tears wouldn't stop at this point, so John smashed his hands down on the keys, folding his arms, and tucking his face into his elbows, letting himself cry out all the frustration he kept pent up. Night had descended quicker than usual, soft moonlight the only thing lighting John and his piano.

Karkat didn't even realize how late it was until Gamzee grabbed him into one of the tightest hugs he'd ever received. Karkat looked up, only to find smudged paint near Gamzee's eyes, and down his cheeks.

"Never again, best friend. You are never doing this to me again," Gamzee assured, holding Karkat's face delicately. "I was worried sick, mother fucker. John came over an-"

"Don't mention him, he's insignificant right now, okay? I'm here, and I'm safe. I just went to the shop," Karkat said smiling lightly. Gamzee still look scared, and Karkat knew it had been a while since he last smoked.

"Gamzee, go smoke something and you can sleep in bed with me tonight, okay? I won't go running off again," Karkat promised. Gamzee nodded. Every so often Karkat and Gamzee shared a bed, whether from one of them having nightmares, or worry like this. Karkat felt terrible for worrying his best friend, and quickly checked on Kida, who was overjoyed her daddy was home.

Gamzee lay still next to Karkat, small teddy bear tucked under his arm. Karkat had curled inwards as always, back pressed to Gamzee's side. Rose had told Gamzee Karkat suffered from abandonment issues and emotional trauma, so he guessed the sleeping position came from one of those. Gamzee knew soon enough Karkat would worm himself closer, feeding off of the others presence.

Gamzee listened to Karkat's rhythmic breathing, one of the pale hands balled up around his face, the other supporting it off the pillow. Karkat always had really bad nightmares, so when the small body stiffened violently, Gamzee looked over.

"Best friend," he whispered. Karkat jolted up, sitting straight, blanket hanging off of his ear.

"What, Gamzee?" he panted, obviously scared.

"You were spazzing, motherfucker. Don't worry, nobody'll ever hurt you with me here, I'll kill anyone who hurts you," Gamzee soothed, pulling Karkat back down into the laying position.

"I believe you Gamzee. Thank you... for everything."

"No problem, motherfucker, now go back to sleep." The honking giant was truly the best friend anyone could ask for, so Karkat nodded and rolled over onto his stomach again, cocooning himself in blankets.

Sleep overtook them both quickly, leaving them in a black stillness that only the moon hovered in.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It does get a bit more heated near the end of this chapter, and the start of 17. Just a warning for you guys<3

Karkat felt Gamzee ease himself out of bed in the morning, but rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. He knew he couldn't go to school that day. He overheard Gamzee outside in the kitchen on his cell phone.

"Yeah, man, he's home safe. Naw, don't worry about it. Best friend never stays away too long." Gamzee leaned his head back in the room.

"I'm going to school, motherfucker. I'll tell 'em you got the flu or something," Gamzee said quietly before closing the door once again. Karkat stared at the window, his phone continuously lighting up, as text after text poured in. He watched the light become brighter and brighter through his shaded window. After two hours of lying still, he got up, walking over to the cage on his desk.

He reached inside, and Kida quickly scampered into his hand. Karkat brought the small animal up to his face, and rubbed his cheek on hers.

"Kida… I don't know what to do. I love him so much, but… but…" He felt the nubby paws press on his cheek, and looked to see the big brown eyes looking up at him concerned. He melted and picked up another apple treat, holding it out for her. He slumped down in his desk chair, holding his hamster close to his chest.

"Fuck… Kida…" He felt fresh tears rolling down his cheeks, and now that he was alone again, he let the soft sobs rack his body. He rocked his hamster back and forth while she ate, cursing under his breath.

All day at school, John looked frantically for his boyfriend, texting messages constantly, but never receiving a reply. In English, he chewed his thumb worriedly, just wanting to see Karkat.

"Shaksbeer is da ubit we're cobering now. Choose your book, and I want a report at da end of da month," Roxy slurred, pulling down another box of books. John was the first to the box. Everyone else unsure of how to react. On top of the pile was a practically brand new copy of Romeo and Juliet.

Beats the ratty others. Plus, Karkat loves this book… John thought, taking the book and returning to his seat. Dave saw what he had grabbed and poked John in the side playfully before going up and grabbing one of the writer's more gory works.

John opened the book carefully, reading over the prologue and stage directions. He could instantly tell why Karkat would enjoy the book. He read the entire class period before picking his stuff up for lunch, hoping Karkat would be there.

He wasn't, but Gamzee was. John's face fell, but Gamzee smiled.

"Thanks for calling this morning, Gamzee. It meant a lot," John said sadly, a sigh loosening his shoulders into a slouch.

"No problem motherfucker. What book you got there?"

"Romeo and Juliet…"

"Aw, shit man. Best friend has that entire book memorized. I mentioned it once, and that motherfucker recited an entire monologue," Gamzee laughed. John's eyes shining lightly as an idea popped into his head.

"Gamzee, you're a genius," John said, smiling up. Gamzee's honking laugh was the response.

Karkat sat with his novel open, early afternoon light trickling between his curtains. Kida ran on her wheel, the light squeak accompanying the consistent flipping of the pages. He had his door open and heard someone enter the dorm room, and slip off their shoes.

"Gamzee!" he called, but no response was made. He looked back to his book, finally at his favorite scene, the balcony confession. He closed his book, placing it back on his desk and looked at the ceiling.

"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!

Arise, Fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick with pale and grief.

That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

Be not her maid, since she is envious.

Her vestal livery is but sick and green.

And none but fools do wear it. Cast it off.

It is my lady, O, it is my love!

O that she knew she were!

She speaks, yet she says nothing; what of that?

Her eye discourses, I will answer it!

I am too bold: 'tis not to me she speaks.

Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,

Having some business, do entreat in her eyes.

To twinkle in their spheres till they return.

What if her eyes were there, they in her head?

The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,

As daylight doth a lamp.

Her eyes in heaven

Would through airy region stream so bright,

That birds would sing and think it were not night.

See how she leans her cheek upon her hand?

O that I were a glove upon that hand.

That I might touch that cheek!" He said loudly, taking a deep breath, Gamzee had heard him recite this speech a thousand times, so he didn't care.

_"Aye me!_

She speaks!

O, speak again, bright angel,

For thou art as glorious to this night

Being o'er my head.

As a winged messenger of heaven

Unto the white, upturned wandering eyes

Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him.

When he bestrides the lazy-puffing clouds

And sails upon the bosom of air." He took another breath, a smile encroaching on his lips.

_"O, Romeo! Romeo!_

_Wherefore art thou Romeo?_

_Deny thy father, and refuse they name!_

_Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,_

_And I'll no longer be a Capulet."_

There was a pause as Karkat heard a voice in a distant room read the next part. It was too muffled and far away to make out whom.

"Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?"

Karkat continued his monologue as Juliet.

_"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy._

_Thou art myself, though not a Montague._

_What's a Montague?_

_It is nor hand, nor foot._

_Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part._

_Belonging to a man, O be some other name._

_What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name,_

_Would smell as sweet._

_So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,_

_Retain that dear perfection which he owes._

_Without that title, Romeo doff thy name._

_And for that name, which is no part of thee,_

_Take all of myself."_ Karkat strained to listen again, and the voice once again responded.

"I take thee at thy word,

Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd.

Henceforth I will never be Romeo." Karkat smiled, was Gamzee playing along?

_"What man art though that,_

_Thus bescreened in night,_

_So stumblest on my counsel?"_

"By a name

I know not how to tell thee who I am.

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself.

Because it is an enemy to thee.

Had I it written, I would tear the word." The voice was getting clearer, and realization struck Karkat as to who was replying to him as Romeo.

" _My ears have yet not drunk a hundred words_

_Of they tongue is uttering,_

_Yet I know the sound._

_Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?"_

"Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike." Karkat heard soft footsteps and held his breath for a long moment, before again reciting.

_"How cam'st thou hither,_

_Tell me, and wherefore?_

_The orchard walls are high, and hard to climb,_

_And the place death,_

_Considering who thou art._

_If any of my kinsmen find thee here."_

The footsteps stopped outside Karkat's door.

"With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls.

For stony limits cannot hold love out,

And what love can do, that dares love attempt.

Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me."

_"If they see thee, they will murder thee."_

"Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye.

Than twenty of their swords.

Look thou but sweet.

And I am proof against their enmity." The door began to creak open softly, stopping after a few inches.

_"I would not for the world they saw thee here."_

"I have night's cloak to hide me from their eyes.

And, but thou love me, let them find me here.

My life would be better ended by their hate,

Than death prorogued wanting of thy love."

Karkat's smile grew even more as he continued to recite to his Romeo.

_"By whose direction found'st thou out of this place?"_

The door swung open and John strode across to Karkat, pulling him up and pressing his lips to his for a long moment, before he glanced down at the book in his hands.

"By love, that first did prompt me to enquire.

He lent me counsel, and I lent him eyes.

I am no pilot, yet, wert thou as far.

As that vast shore wash'd with the furthest sea.

I should adventure for such merchandise."

Karkat didn't object to John holding him close and wondered if he should continue. He felt a tear slip down his cheek and John released him, shocked.

"Oh, no. Karkat, I'm sorry. Please, I had to make sure you were oka-" Karkat smashed his lips to John, laughing and crying into the kiss.

"You're an idiot! Honestly. You read almost that entire scene with me," he said wiping his face and going back to sit in his desk chair.

John sat down stunned on the bed, and looked at Karkat.

"I didn't want to kiss Vriska. I never did. I wanted her to leave, and I was waiting for _**you**_ , and I'm so sorry that it happened," John explained, not meeting Karkat's eye. The raven hair on Karkat's head shifted as he cocked it, watching John's pleading body.

"It's okay, John. I forgive you. It was only a kiss," Karkat sighed, playing with the ribbon bookmark on his book.

"No, it's not okay, Karkat! **I love you!** " John said jumping to his feet angrily, then clapping a hand over his mouth. Karkat's body stiffened.

"J-John?"

"Karkat Vantas, I love you so much. I had no idea how to tell you. You are the Juliet to my Romeo, the Jack to my Rose, the sky to my moon, the… The Stay Puff to my Marshmallow," he exclaimed. Karkat turned to face him, laughter threatening to break out.

_"The Stay Puff to your Marshmallow?"_ He repeated, getting up and walking over to John. John nodded profusely, holding his breath. Karkat wrapped his arms around John's waist and nestled his cheek against John's chest.

"You're the Nic Cage to my Declaration of Independence," Karkat attempted, and when they both thought about it after a moment, they erupted into laugher.

"I'm sorry, I have no idea about his movies," Karkat wheezed when they fell on the bed together.

"That sounds so sexual, Karkat," John prompted, causing Karkat to laugh harder. John reached over and poked Karkat's side softly, causing him to squeal, and scoot away.

"Oh man, Karkat. Are you ticklish?" John asked in disbelief, before getting on his knees and cracking his fingers.

"No!" Karkat gasped in shock. "JOHN I SWEA-" John pounced on Karkat, pinning him under his weight and sitting on his lower stomach. John's fingers crawled up underneath Karkat's hoodie, tickling his soft skin, making Karkat squirm with laughter.

John smirked and leaned down, gently sucking on his neck while he teased his boyfriend's sides. Karkat could barely decide whether to moan or laugh, so ended up sounding like he was crying, between heavy intakes of air. Karkat squeezed his eyes shut and continued to squeal and buck underneath John while he was tortured.

John made sure to leave a hickey on Karkat's neck, right behind his scar, and returned to the pouty lips that were parted for air. Tongues collided as Karkat reached up, gripping into John's hair. The tickling stopped, and instead John's fingers stroked and explored Karkat's stomach and chest under the baggy black hoodie.

Karkat pulled John's tie and shirt off and set to work shimmying out of his own. Now both shirtless, they stared at each other for a long moment, taking in what they never really paid attention to. John had a flat stomach, with defined hipbones that any Abercrombie model would kill for. Karkat's collarbone peeked out dramatically over toned pectorals, and slight abs tensed as he panted heavily.

"We practically get naked in front of each other every day. How did I never notice how fucking sexy you are?" Karkat whined, reaching up for another kiss. They clashed again, heated, and both able to tell.

John slipped back down to Karkat's neck and collarbone. Karkat gasped, eyes widening, and moan escaping, while he felt John slip his hand down his pants, taking firm hold of Karkat with a sly smirk.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the smut doodoo doodoo. Here comes the smut, and I say, change the rating.

Karkat stared at John, his eyes huge. John smirked back, grip loosening.

"J-John… your hand… is down my fucking pants," Karkat stuttered, blush covering his entire face.

"I know it is Karkat," John chuckled. A little movement of his wrist caused a deep moan to escape Karkat's mouth.

"Oh! Fuck, John," he gasped, chest raising off the bed and colliding with John's. John's wrist twitched again, causing yet another moan to tear out. He brought his other hand down, slipping Karkat's pajama pants down and leaving him in dark navy boxers, little red hearts dotted the surface. John bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Karkat's so cute! He squealed in his head as he reached back up to kiss the squirming boy. His hand pumped up and down slowly on Karkat, causing squeaks and deep groans of pleasure to fill the air around them.

John pushed his own pants off, and ectoplasm green boxers met Karkat's eyes. The smaller of the two couldn't help but laugh at how typical, but unexpected, the colour was. John rolled his eyes and squeezed his hand lightly, causing the laughter to stop with a gasp.

"Oh, that's not funny," Karkat hissed, nose scrunching. "I was laughing because you're fucking adorable." Another squeeze, and the pumping continued. Karkat felt John's other hand go to the waistband of his boxers, and he sat straight up, nearly clonking heads with John. He scooted away.

"No…" he whispered, shaking his head and bringing his knees up to his chest. John furrowed his brows and crawled over.

"No what?"

"I don't want… you… to see me… naked," Karkat said slowly, resting his arms on his knees, and cheek on his forearm, avoiding John's gaze.

"Why?"

"I'm gross," was all Karkat said. It was short and sharp, and held a bite that John hadn't heard for a long time. He leaned in, trying to get Karkat to look at him, but his boyfriend moved his head away.

"I don't think you're gross…" John whispered honestly. Karkat simply glared at him.

"You've never seen me naked, okay? This chest scar might make me look fucking manly or whatever, but it doesn't hide the fact I'm disgusting!" Karkat snapped. John sat back on his knees.

"Can I see you naked today? Or do you want to wait?"

"I don't want you to ever fucking see me naked." Karkat's tone had changed from angry to sad as he stared at his long boxers.

"...I want to see you naked, though. Not today, but someday, okay?" Karkat huffed in response. John kissed his boyfriend's temple softly.

"Can I continue now? I think we have unfinished business." The prankster was back in John's voice as he took Karkat's hand in his, before placing it right on his crotch. Karkat's eyes grew huge when he felt where he was as he looked at John in shock.

"I- I –I." John pushed him down, big hand snaking back into Karkat's own boxer shorts. Karkat gasped, and his hand reflexively gripped. John let out a soft noise, head dropping down so his hair brushed the scar on Karkat's chest.

Karkat smiled a little, and his own slender fingers slid into John's green undergarments. Two fingers curled around John's length, and he put pressure on them. John squeaked and bucked his hips lightly. It seemed he was much more sensitive than Karkat was.

Karkat enjoyed toying with John, carefully stroking him with ghosting fingertips, making John's shoulders shudder, and noises of enjoyment gush out. John became a little more hasty with his movements, sliding a bit quicker up and down Karkat's shaft. They both bucked their hips, rubbing up against each other, and soft cries echoing.

Karkat buried his face in John's neck, one arm gripping around his neck, the other hidden by green fabric, and let out one last, long moan, muscles seizing. John, too, cried out, pushing against Karkat's hand. They collapsed together, panting slightly. Karkat let out a few more soft moans.

"Never..." Karkat panted, "...tickle me… again." John only smiled and leaned in for a kiss, which was mutually returned.

After they had both showered, and John borrowing a pair of fresh boxers, they decided to go out for food. Karkat quickly made a list and looked at John.

"I need to go shopping…" he said apologetically. John chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"Okay, that's fine with me," John replied, lacing his fingers with Karkat's. They left the room together and raced through the cold air to Karkat's car. They cranked up the heat and took off to Coldplay.

They drove into town, swinging by a fast food place. John fed Karkat his French fries as he drove. One of the long yellow strips hung from Karkat's lips, and he attempted to lick it into his mouth, eyes pointed at the corner of his mouth. John giggled and helped push it into his boyfriend's lips, getting his finger nipped playfully by sharp teeth.

"Hey!" John laughed. Karkat winked at him. They pulled into the supermarket's parking lot, and parked in a space. Karkat finished his food off quickly, John having finished long before, and they headed inside.

Karkat got a cart and pulled out his folded list, handing it to John.

"What's first?"

"Um… Mushrooms?"

"Oh, yeah, for Gamzee. He loves when I cook mushrooms," Karkat explained while they traversed to the produce department.

"I love anything you cook. I'm pretty much limited to hot pockets, and pizza rolls," John laughed, and Karkat stopped dead.

"That's it, I'm cooking whatever you want, whenever you want," Karkat grumbled, taking off once again. Karkat picked over the produce section, inspecting each item closely, making sure it was perfect.

"Next?" he asked, cart already filling up.

"Um… Eggs, milk, butter, and ground beef." Karkat took off once again, shopping method obviously proficient. He put the items in the cart and headed down the bread isle, picking up various tortillas, and taco shells.

"Gamzee likes Mexican food. Tacos especially." John took in the list, realizing the majority of the food must be for Gamzee. John bit his cheek, realizing how much Karkat loved his best friend. He cooked his meals, cleaned his room, got him up for school, and genuinely cared for him.

"How did you meet Gamzee? You guys are so close…" John asked. Karkat glanced over his shoulder.

"We met when I was twelve, so almost 5 years ago. We actually met on my birthday," Karkat chuckled, strolling along with John now at his side. "We both had had a pretty bad accident, and I guess it was just fate…" Karkat sighed, turning down the junk food isle.

To say Karkat just stuck out his arm and ran along the isle, pushing all the junk food in his cart, was almost accurate. John watched as his arm darted out, picking up chips, candy, and snack cakes. He go to the Gushers and plucked four big boxes off the shelf.

"I don't normally get them, but you love them." Karkat winked again, and John smiled widely.

Karkat stopped in the soda isle, pulling off a case of Faygo in every flavor, earning an odd look from John.

Karkat sighed, and shrugged.

"Gamzee loves every Faygo equally, and likes to have them all in the house. Or at least, I like to have them all in the house. Gives him options." He reached down, and pulled up a case of Sprite.

"I prefer Sprite, personally." They went along, picking up more miscellaneous items, before turning down the video game isle. Karkat noticed something, and his eyes got big. He walked over to the Xbox case and looked inside.

"John, I'm getting Skyrim and I don't care what you say," he gasped, looking from the glass to John, and back to the glass.

"You play video games, Karkat?" John asked in awe, and Karkat nodded.

"I love them. Weird, huh? Not really one to be expected to play video games." An employee came over and Karkat got his game, smiling widely at John. John laughed and hugged Karkat, who was overjoyed at his game. He plopped it next to the milk, and they continued along.

"Should I get a TV for my bedroom?" Karkat asked, looking up at John as they passed the Televisions.

"Uh, it's up to you." John shrugged, and Karkat looked them over, deciding on one of the largest they had.

"Do you need a TV that big?"

"If I'm buying myself a TV, I want a nice one, John," Karkat said, narrowing his eyes. They headed up, cart stuffed, and paid for all their items, Karkat handing over a large wad of cash. He blushed and looked at the ground, avoiding John's eyes.

They loaded up the back of Karkat's crossover and John placed his hand on Karkat's shoulder.

"You know I don't really care, right? About the money? It's just money. But I'm paying for our first date." John smiled, and Karkat searched his face for a second, before leaning upwards to plant a soft kiss on his lips.

They often went out together, but never really considered them dates. Coffee and movies were something they had done often before they started dating, so why should they be considered dates now?

They drove home, and Karkat kissed John goodbye after they had unloaded the multiple trips worth of groceries. Gamzee was in his room, already asleep, even though it was only 8.

New television set up, and in his pajamas, Karkat finally picked up his phone, and looked at the 103 messages John had sent.  
 _  
"karkat, where are you?"_

_"please be okay."_

_"text me back, I'm really worried."_

_"i love you karkat, please be safe."_

They continued like that for the entirety. Karkat saved his personal favorite, and closed his phone, sighing loudly.

"Goodnight, Kida," he said, and the hamster squeaked in response, before they both drifted off.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All right, babies. 18 is one of my favorite numbers, you you're in for a treat! We're starting to roll this giant stone of planning we have had since like, chapter 4. :3 All of you guys have been so nice. I want to thank everyone who'd ever read this fanfiction, and I especially want to thank those who left reviews. You've left me at a loss for words, and I feel honored to have you guys reading my story. I'm doing my best to make this the greatest JohnKat fiction you'll ever read. I promise. You make this girl's day. Love: Katy

Karkat and John were stuck together like glue on Wednesday, and Vriska left them both alone, obviously defeated in her chase. John also returned Karkat's violin, and Karkat was overjoyed to have it back.

"Want to come over after school?" John asked at lunch. Karkat squirmed awkwardly, glancing at Gamzee, and then at John.

"I can't John, it's Wednesday," he sighed. John nodded, remembering Karkat's excursions. "I can come over after, if you want?" He added, nudging his elbow into John's side. John gave his millionaire smile and nodded quickly.

"We need to make plans for your birthday!" John exclaimed suddenly. Karkat's face fell as Gamzee's jaw tensed a little.

"I don't want to do anything, okay? I don't like to celebrate it…"

"Oh, C'mon, Karkat! Please!" John begged, placing his head on Karkat's shoulder.

"...I'll think about it."

Karkat was sitting in his history class, bored out of his mind, when his phone began to vibrate softly. Nobody seemed to notice, so Karkat got up, and took the hall pass. He checked his phone once safely in the hall to see who was calling. He flipped it open urgently after seeing the familiar number.

"Dr. Carmen! What's wrong?" Karkat asked, quickly heading toward the nearest bathroom.

_"Nothing, Karkat, in fact, we have some amazing news! You mother is showing signs on Cognitive response! She's getting better!"_ the choppy, yet excited voice came. Karkat gasped, clenching his phone tightly.

"This isn't a joke?"

_"I've known you for 5 years, Karkat, I'd never joke about this."_ Karkat felt soft tears roll down his cheeks as he stood alone in the bathroom. All the drama that had been happening recently, paired with his upcoming birthday, this was a welcomed relief. He slipped back into the classroom and went up to Jane, muttering his explanation. She nodded, understanding.

Gathering his stuff, Karkat all but nearly sprinted out of the school and to his car, violin in tow. He sped off to the hospital, where he found Dr. Carmen waiting for him.

"I knew you'd come." He smiled, ushering the boy into his mother's hospital room. "Do you want me to inform you fath-"

"Don't talk to the asshole. He never deserved my mom. None of us did," Karkat said, tears filling his eyes when he noticed his mother's jaw muscles clenching slightly.

"Okay, Karkat. I'll leave you alone." The door clicked shut, and Karkat sat down hurriedly. Taking his mom's hand, he could feel her muscles tensing slightly under the skin, and she squeezed back. After nearly 5 years of a one-sided handhold, she squeezed back.

Karkat let out a choked sobbing noise, and the corner of his mother's mouth twitched. The grip released from Karkat's hand, and he picked up the violin case.

"You'll like this, mom," he whispered, gently running the bow across the strings. "Fix You" began coating the air around them, the music hit both their ears.

Sofia Vantas sighed deeply, the corners of her mouth somehow perked up from deep in her coma, the voice of someone familiar penetrating deeply after so long. The sound of something she once remembered so clearly now seemed like a stranger. Everything was muddied and blurry, but the notes somehow stuck.

Karkat spent the rest of the day there, playing music, talking, and holding his mother's hand. His emotional threshold was being tested by this miracle, and happy tears escaped his eyes. This was too good to be true!

At 9:30pm, Karkat left the hospital after placing a light kiss on his Mom's forehead. He looked around the pale room. The small elephant stuffed animals Karkat had brought for her over the years sat in a small family. Karkat smiled. His mother's favorite animal was elephants. He drove back to the school and knocked a few times on John's door. Dave opened and directed him to the bedroom where John was. Karkat burst through the door, shocking John to his feet. Karkat ran and tackle hugged him, resulting in them flying onto the bed. John's glasses flew off as Karkat snuggled deep into John, squeezing him tightly.

"Hey, Karkat, good to see you too!" John laughed, hugging him back.

"Okay, I'll do it," Karkat whispered happily.

"Do what?" John wondered, looking down at his snuggling boyfriend.

"Go out for my birthday. One Wednesday couldn't hurt," Karkat explained, gazing up with glimmering eyes. John laughed and kissed his boyfriend's forehead.

"Okay, Karkat. It'll be the best date ever!"

"Won't it be our first official date, too? I like that." Karkat leaned up and planted a soft kiss on John's lips. It had been about a month since they became an "item", but they never considered their coffee excursions and frequent movie marathons dates.

"Yeah, it would!"

The next day, Karkat skipped school and instead went to the hospital. He sat by his mom's side all morning, and texted Gamzee the good news. He also decided to text John, and tell him where he was.

_"I'M AT THE HOSPITAL,"_ he sent, but immediately regretted his words. The flood of texts that came in nearly knocked Karkat off his feet.

_"oh my god karkat what did you do?"_

_"are you okay?"_

_"why are you at the hospital? do you need me to come?"_

_"NO! STOP! YOU'RE OVER REACTING. I'M PERFECTLY FINE. I'M FUCKING VISITING SOMEONE, CALM DOWN. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, EGBERT."_ He smiled at his phone as John calmed himself, making sure Karkat didn't need anything. Karkat made John promise he'd come over once he got home.

Karkat left at noon while his mother was being fed. He despised the sight, having seen it only once when he was twelve. He sat in the cafeteria, small bag of cheezits in front of him. He chewed slowly, studying the back of his hand intently. His skin was a milky white, with slightly exposed veins. His fingers were long and thin, nails uniformly filed. He popped another one of the orange squares in his mouth and swallowed it as it became mush.

He went back up at about 1pm, estimating his mother would be alone again. He stepped into the elevator and, to his surprise, it stopped at the 4th floor. A small girl, bald, and hooked up to an IV stepped in with help from a nurse. She glanced up at Karkat, then back at her feet.

The nurse instantly recognized Karkat, and said hello, and he returned the pleasantry.

"I hear your mother is getting better. That's excellent!" Karkat nodded, and gave a half smile. He glanced down to the young girl again, and grit his teeth. The nurse noticed and flashed another bright smile.

"Calliope, why don't you say hi to Karkat? He comes here quite a bit." Calliope looked up at Karkat. Her skin had a sickly green tint, but her eyes remained optimistic.

"Hello, Karkat. My name is Calliope." She gave him a small smile, and he smiled back. The 8th floor came up, and Karkat stepped off, raising a hand in farewell to the both of them.

His mom lay on the bed exactly as she had been, her heart monitor beep seemed more cheerful than before, and the entire atmosphere seemed to have perked up. Karkat was more relaxed while he held his mom's hand, as he sang to her softly, filling the room with the gentleness of his voice.

Hours passed before Karkat felt his phone buzz. It was nearing 5, so he stood up and kissed his mom's forehead. He headed outside, violin case in hand, and saw Dr. Carman waiting by the nurse station.

"Are you leaving, Karkat?" he questioned. Karkat raised an eyebrow.

"Um. Yeah… I have to go meet… someone…" Karkat felt his cheeks flush when the doctor winked.

"Go get her, tiger," he laughed, and Karkat stiffened.

"It's actually my boyfriend, Doctor." Dr. Carman stopped laughing and raised his eyebrows at Karkat in surprise, but his smile never disappeared.

"Okay, then, go get _him,_ tiger." He ruffled Karkat's hair and set off into another patient's room. Karkat walked stiffly to the elevator, heading out of the hospital, and to his car. He revved up his engine and backed out carefully, watching the parking lot intensely.

Once on the road, the shaggy haired boy began to relax a bit, humming along to his CD's. His head rocked from side to side on his way home, music engulfing him. Whenever he'd been sad, music had been there to cheer him up. The short ride seemed even shorter as Karkat unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed his violin case.

Karkat rushed back inside his dorm, saying a quick hello to Gamzee, and racing into the shower. It was one of the quickest showers he'd ever taken, measuring barely 15 minutes. He leapt out, toweling off his hair until it was only just damp.

After he had dried his body off, he text John giving him the okay to head over. Karkat pulled on his classic gray skinny jeans, and a black turtleneck sweater covered his thin upper body. His hair was still damp when he heard Gamzee opening the door for somebody, Chap Stick tube held to his lips. He turned toward the door, tube still raised, when John walked in. the both paused to look at each other, John taking in the sight of his boyfriend, mouth open, pink tube raised to his lips.

John's laughing fit snapped Karkat out of his daze and he quicky capped the Chap Stick, chucking it,and beaming John in the head. John fell to one knee, hand still clutching Karkat's doorknob.

"It's chap stick, John! Get your shit together!" he yelped. John stood up, calming down after a good 3 minutes of laughter. He walked right up and planted a kiss on Karkat's lips.

"Mmm, cherry. I always figured you to be more of a strawberry kind of guy," John teased, wrapping Karkat up in a big hug. Karkat snuggled into John, blushing hard, grumbling something about not liking any strawberry chap sticks.

"I guess that's why you're so fun to kiss, huh?" Another kiss was administered, and John finally noticed the huge TV set up opposite the bed, the rows of DVD's lining a shelf underneath.

"You have Independence Day?" John asked in awe, letting his boyfriend go and walking to the selves.

"I'm a sucker for movies with good monologues. The President's speech… I um… yeah…" Karkat said, looking at his bare feet. John picked it up and tossed it to Karkat, before standing back up.

"I brought sushi. Nothing fancy, but I figured I give you the day off dinner," John chuckled. Karkat's orange eyes lit up.

"I fucking love sushi," he whispered. John took in what he said.

"Really? Wow, didn't I guess lucky. I figured you liked Asian foods, seeing as how well you can use chopsticks," John chuckled, taking Karkat's hand and leading him out to the kitchen. Two big bags sat on the counter. John began to unpack a few boxes of sushi.

"Hang on, I need to check something," Karkat said, looking into the living room. "Gamzee, what do you want for dinner?" he asked the boy, who sat dazed on the couch, scribbling over homework.

"I'll just make something, best friend. Go have your motherfuckin' cuddle times," Gamzee honked, winking at Karkat. He blushed, nodded, turning back to John.

"Gamzee doesn't really like sushi," he explained, peeking in the freezer. "There are pizza rolls in the freezer, Gam!" he called. A honk was the response. Karkat opened the utensil drawer and pulled out a pair of chopsticks, offering them to John.

"Karkat, I can't use chopsticks. Unless you want your bed to be coated in rice, I highly recommend you hand me a fork." He pushed his glasses back on his nose with a grin. Karkat shrugged and reached back in for a fork, keeping the chopsticks for himself.

They balanced boxes of sushi and cans of soda precariously, stumbling back into Karkat's room and placing their goodies down on his end tables. John hopped on the bed while Karkat put in Independence Day and turned off the lights.

John wrapped his arm around Karkat's shoulder, and in return was pushed up against by his warm boyfriend. He watched as fingers worked the chopsticks, plucking wrapped sushi, and depositing them in his mouth.

"John, open up," Karkat said, picking up a large piece of fish and looking up at John. John opened his mouth, big teeth shining whitely. Karkat placed the fish carefully on his tongue, and John chomped down as soon as the chopsticks left his mouth. His eyes went huge as he looked at Karkat.

"I gave you the spicy one. I hate spicy food!" he giggled while John swallowed the fish nearly whole.

"Oh my god, I couldn't get a warning?" John gasped. Karkat only kissed him in response.

"Every time I do something you fucking don't like, you get a kiss, okay?" Karkat smirked, and John raised his eyebrows.

"I don't like it that you're _not_ kissing me." Karkat rolled his eyes and leaned up, mashing his mouth to John's roughly. He pulled back after a long time, John's glasses knocked to the side, and pink covering the blue eyed boy's face.

"Wow, sheesh. I didn't know you could kiss like tha-" Karkat clamped a hand to his mouth, John realizing it was President Wilson's speech.

Karkat was enthralled with the screen, lips moving noiselessly with the speech, reciting ever word without speaking. When the speech was over, John licked Karkat's palm, causing the pale nose to scrunch up.

"Did you just fucking lick me? What the hell John?" Karkat squealed, snatching his hand back and rubbing it on his pants. He scowled and popped another piece of sushi in his mouth while John leaned down and planted kisses on his temple. They watched the rest of the movie in silence, chewing the entirety of their sushi.

They stacked the boxes up, and John went to go pick out another movie. Karkat went over to go get Kida and placed her on his shoulder, where she liked to perch. He clambered back on the bed, John popping in a mystery movie. He snuggled back up to Karkat and Kida jumped onto John's shoulder, putting her nubby paws on his cheek. John kissed her head gently and she squeaked in response before nestling down on his shoulder.

Karkat was shocked when the classic 60's Romeo and Juliet began playing, and he turned to look at John, who was smiling slyly. John only winked, and Karkat's jaw dropped open.

"You are the fucking best, sexiest, most perfect person on earth," Karkat said in shock, and if Kida hadn't been there, he was sure he would have tackled John into a kiss. Instead, he laced his fingers together with John's, and snuggled into his chest, sighing happily.

_This day couldn't have gotten any better._


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much more of a filler chapter than anything, but still coming toward the arc of chapter 20-22. Hope you guys enjoy! Also a few wanted to know my tumblr, it's spookin-didamounds.tumblr.com and if you would like to submit fanart for the fic, or anything else relating ps-fanart.tumblr.com

Karkat went to school on Friday, happier than he'd ever been. He approached Kanaya in gym class, while Dave and John spoke to Dirk.

"Hey, um, Kanaya, you… make clothes, right?"

"Well, I obviously do, seeing as I made your fabulous costumes," she said matter-of-factly. Karkat gulped a little.

"Um, do you think… you could… make me an outfit?" She turned to look at the now slightly blushing boy. "I… want to look nice, because um… John and I are going out on my birthday, and-"

"Say no more," she cut in, a smile spreading across her lips. "Come by Rose's and my place after school, and we'll get to work! Veil dorm, room 19." They then lined up alongside the rest of the class, ready for a good game of mat ball.

Gamzee was overjoyed to have Karkat back in school, and proudly showcased his and Tavros' linked fingers. It was a slight surprise to all, to see the tall clown paired with the wheelchair bound boy. But they complimented each other well.

Come history, Karkat was feeling a bit anxious to go to Kanaya's, and then to see his mom. A girl with long black hair, big round glasses, and a big green sweater stood at the front of the classroom. Jane was smiling at her, and stood up, bringing the class to attention.

"Well, students, we've recently received a transfer student from Hawaii, and my very own niece, Jade Harley! Please make her feel welcome!" The new girl took the seat to Karkat's right. He scowled at his binder.

"Calm down, fuckass," the girl mumbled. Karkat glanced over, shocked to here the insult. She sent a halfhearted smile at him. Karkat instantly had mixed feelings about her. Gamzee, on the other hand, sitting on Karkat's left, honked and said hello.

After school, Karkat made his way to Veil dorm and found room 19. He knocked once, Rose opening the door expectantly. It figured the two would be roommates. Kanaya was quickly summoned , Karkat instantly dragged into a spare room transformed into a sewing room. She measured Karkat through his uniform, taking arm, chest, and leg measurements.

"Anything in particular you would like?"

"Um, well… anything in gray or black, please. And… I don't know... maybe a sweater or something." He shrugged, sitting on a stool. Kanaya sat in a wheelie chair and pulled out a sketchpad, a pencil flying over the paper for a few minutes, before she raised a finger, beckoning him over.

"Something like this?" she asked, showing him the drawing. A gray cable knit sweater was layered with pitch-black pants. It was basic, but flawless. He nodded slowly.

"Kanaya, I cannot thank you enough. Fuck, is there anything you need?"

"New shrubs. Buy me a bush next time you're at Wal-Mart," she said, waving him off. He didn't have time to question before he was almost shoved out of the room. He went to his car, getting in to go visit his mom. He texted John asking if he wanted to go for pizza around 7, and he agreed. Karkat gave him the name of his little pizza shop and then drove off to the hospital.

He sat by his mom, whose muscles still twitched and fidgeted while her son sang softly. She sighed deeply when Karkat sang, and her muscles spasmed less; his voice was almost a sedative. At 6:30, a knock came at the door. Karkat got up and walked over to the door, letting Dr. Carman inside.

"Hi, Karkat. I think you know what time it is… We'll be running some tests as well, so you should probably go home and get some rest. Are you coming tomorrow, too?" he asked. The sandy blond doctor had always been kind to Karkat. He ruffled his hair as the boy left. He'd known Karkat for 5 years, but he knew barely anything about the pale teenager.

Karkat arrived at the pizza parlor and notified the host he was waiting for someone. The place was nearly abandoned, as always. Not 5 minutes after Karkat walked in, John slipped in next to him. The host sat them at a booth in the back corner, facing the windows. John took the seat across from Karkat, who was tapping his fingers rhythmically on the table.

One two three, one two three. John counted, reading his finger placements instead of his menu.

"I didn't know you knew Beethoven," he said with a smirk. Karkat glanced up, his fingers pressing down, then sliding back under the table. A blush coated his cheeks as he shrugged.

"Moonlight Sonata is my favorite…" he mumbled, nose scrunching up in an unknown emotion. They simply looked back at their menus. The waitress came around, Karkat ordering a strawberry milkshake. John ordered plain water, and Karkat leveled him with a _"you've-got-to-be-kidding-me"_ look. They settled on a large pepperoni pizza, and soon the milkshake and water was back.

Karkat stuck a big bendy straw in the pink drink. John smiled while he watched his boyfriend sip the ice cream. John snuck his hand into the straw container and plunged one in himself.

"No, no, no, no, _fuck no._ We do _not_ get to be that cute. Two straws is the epitome of adorable. We do not get the right," Karkat said, pulling his drink away. John gave him the puppy eyes. Karkat attempted to maintain a glare, but failed miserably. Nobody could resist John's big blue peepers.

They sipped the milkshake mutually, a darker blush now coating Karkat's cheeks. The pizza came, and both chose big, gooey slices.

"Thanks for coming tonight. The hospital was… actually really busy today." He didn't bring up the fact he had seen Calliope, yet again, and this time even had a small conversation with her.

"Why are you going to the hospital so much?" John asked curiously, snagging pieces of hot pepperoni from the pizza.

"Oh, just… someone really important to me is starting to get better, so I want to be there for them," Karkat said nonchalantly. He still wasn't ready to tell John about his troubled family and past. They continued eating and talking, hands absentmindedly twisting themselves together. Neither would admit it, but their hands fit together perfectly, long and slightly calloused from music practice.

Karkat's fingertips had slight hardened lumps where he manipulated the strings, and John's had some near the center knuckle of each finer and the sides of his thumbs. John noticed how long Karkat's fingernails were, filed into neat ovals, and even shiny. Every few minutes, Karkat would send a slight squeeze through their entwined hands, almost reflexively.

They had begun noticing the small quirks about each other; Karkat liked to bite his lip, and played with his right ear when he was thinking. John would tap his foot, and his fingers were constantly moving. Karkat liked to cuddle up in blankets with John, and John loved to nestle his head in the crook of Karkat's neck.

They loved these little things about each other. Karkat always woke up to a good morning text, and John went to bed with a wish of sweet dreams. John had never found himself so enamored with someone before, and he'd never have thought it would have been a boy. Those orange eyes captivated him and made him daydream, just as the blue did to Karkat.

"Hey John…?" Karkat said, looking at his straw, avoiding John's gaze.

"Yeah, Karkat?"

"John… I think I'm in love with you. Not like saying 'I love you', but actually fucking _in love_ with you," the pale boy said, the words barely above a whisper. John's eyes widened. He was surprised at the sudden outburst. The squeeze he felt in his hand brung him back to reality.

"Thank god! I thought I was the only one about to make a love confession," John sighed, putting his head in his free hand. "I love you, Karkat. I really do." He smiled and leaned in, kissing Karkat with his big buck toothed smile.

_Man his teeth are huge,_ Karkat thought with a smile, returning the chaste kiss.

They finished their pizza and paid, heading out to their separate cars. They kissed goodnight and promised to meet up Sunday to go out to see a movie.

Karkat was beginning to get more nervous about his birthday. He never enjoyed celebrating, and Gamzee always respected his need to be alone on that day. He sat playing with Kida, debating whether or not to ask John to call off their plans. He cussed out loud, angry with himself for agreeing to the date.

He picked up his phone, and punched in the text message.

_"JOHN, I FEEL LIKE GOING ON THIS DATE WOULD BE A HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE, AND WE SHOULDN'T DO IT."_

He stared at his phone, before flipping it shut without sending it. He sighed and went and laid in his bed after putting Kida away, staring at his ceiling until a restless oblivion settled him into sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of a big arc, also known as the Heartbreak 20's. This fanfic is already written to chapter 25, and I'm not changing anything so far.
> 
> Sorry babies.  
> A/N: Oh shit, here it is guys. The big two-zero. The plan of all plans. The time every reader becomes Andrew Hussie, and I the lonely characters whom he slaughters. I am prepared to die after this chapter. I am prepared for a death of Caps locks, and tears. This is not the end. Love: Katy.

Come Tuesday night, Karkat was a sack of nerves. John had told him no details of what he was planning for their date, only telling him how excited he was. Kanaya had stopped by with Karkat's clothes neatly packaged in a garment bag, and Karkat in return handed her a potted shrub he had bought from the store. He had visited his mom every day since he first got the news, so he felt a little less guilty about skipping his usual Wednesday session the next day.

As Karkat and Gamzee ate dinner together, the clown boy looked up suddenly.

"Hey, motherfucker. John told me to tell you that you aren't going to school tomorrow. I got it covered, so don't worry, okay?" Karkat examined the peaceful face of his best friend, eyebrow raised, head cocked. He nodded slowly and returned to the platter of food in front of him.

After dinner, the shower beckoned him into its warm, watery embrace, coaxing out songs and an impromptu hairbrush microphone solo. Karkat let his conditioner sit in his hair as he ran a razor over the ultra fine stubble along his face and neck. He rinsed his body and hair, running a comb through it while still under the water.

He got out and grabbed his toothbrush, scowling at himself with his pointy teeth. He scrubbed with the minty paste before flossing, followed by a swig of mouthwash. He wanted to be perfect for his date tomorrow.

Karkat fed Kida and kissed her goodnight before he laid down in his nest of pillows and blankets. He wrapped himself in a secure cocoon, wearing the newest hoodie he had received from John. He fell into an easy slumber around 10 o'clock, a content sigh escaping his lips before he drifted off.

At midnight, Karkat was jolted away by his ringtone. He groped the table, grabbing his phone and flipping it open.

"Hello?" he growled, angry at whoever decided to call him so late.

_"Hey, Kiddo. Happy birthday!"_ Karkat's eyes woke instantly at the deep voice, gravely and hearty. His nose bunched at the top like it always did when he was displeased as he debated hanging up right then.

"What do you want, Dad?" he scowled into the receiver, his voice venomous.

_"Wow, I can't wish my only son a happy birthday?"_ The crackling laugh that came through the line made Karkat ill. His father seriously thought he had done nothing wrong?

"No, you fucking can't. Do you _know_ how much bullshit you've put mom and I through? Way too fucking much. You were never home when we fucking needed you, and when you were, you barely acknowledged my damned existence. Then mom goes into a coma, and you totally ignore the living shit out of her. She didn't fucking die! She's still alive, and so was I, but you didn't fucking care about me. I was just the **unexpected surprise** Mom announced around 18 years ago. Then I start going to school, moving out of that fucking house, and you run off with some cheap whore from Alabama. You can't fucking wish your only son a happy fucking birthday, because... I've never been your son. So do us both a favor and leave me the fuck alone. Leave mom the fuck alone. Forget about your old family, and go fucking live with your new one. You obviously never cared enough to consider us in the first fucking place. Goodbye, Karl. Good- _fucking-bye._ "

He snapped his phone shut, high-pitched noise coming from his throat. He didn't regret anything he had said, but still the hot tears leaked down his cheeks. He hadn't realized he had been shouting until two soft knocks came at the door. Gamzee peeked inside, concern registering instantly on the messy haired boy as he saw his best friend hunched over in tears.

Gamzee walked over and hugged Karkat tightly, sitting on the bed while he pulled him onto his lap. He rubbed Karkat's back and shooshed him quietly, rocking back and forth comfortingly. Karkat didn't pose any objection, and just sat there, an empty shell.

Gamzee held the silent Karkat until he was sure his best friend had fallen asleep again. He then tucked Karkat in carefully, kissing his forehead gently.

"Happy birthday, best friend," he whispered at the door, closing it slowly and returning to his own bed. This was something that hadn't happened since Karkat was 13, but the episode was nearly identical. He looked at his old teddy bear. It was actually a gift from Karkat, from their first birthday spent together.

Karkat might seem like he had a tough outer shell, but the smallest things could break down the walls. He was extremely caring and sensitive in his own ways. Gamzee gulped and hugged the bear with one arm, closing his eyes and fighting himself back to bed.

When Karkat awoke from his sleep, it was yet again to his ringtone, but it was the custom one he had set for John. He reached over, groggily muttering a hello.

_"Karkat! I'll be there in a half hour! Get your lazy butt out of bed!"_ The phone clicked before Karkat had time for questions. Karkat wrestled free of his blankets and went to go brush his teeth and comb his hair. He smiled silently as he applied the cherry lip balm and sprayed himself with his usual cologne.

When he unzipped the garment bag, he gasped at Kanaya's beautiful craftsmanship. He pulled on the soft black pants. Straight legged, instead of skinny, they elongated and flattered his legs. He slipped into the soft gray sweater, which went down to his hips. The sleeves were just a little long, purposely going up until about a half inch under his thumb. He looked at himself in the mirror and couldn't help but be shocked at how he looked.

He pulled on a pair of socks and his black converse, lacing the laces tightly before sitting at his kitchen table, waiting for John. He didn't have to wait long, as it seemed he had just sat down when John burst through the door, bouquet of roses in hand. He invaded Karkat's kitchen and leaned down, kissing him passionately. He then got down on his knee, and presented his blushing boyfriend with the roses, kissing the back of his hand lightly.

Karkat's face was cherry red, John's eyes twinkling mischievously as he handed over the sweet smelling roses.

"Fuck, John. What is all this?" he finally managed, shock subsiding.

"I want to give you the most romantic, best birthday ever. You deserve it." He kissed Karkat again, their eyes drooping half closed. Karkat got up and got a vase for his roses, filling it with water, then carefully placing the delicate blossoms inside.

John eyed his boyfriend up and down as he placed the flowers in water; speechless at how amazing he looked in the sweater and black pants. Karkat turned and asked one unexpected question.

"Is it cold out today?" John nodded; it was unseasonably cold that day. Karkat excused himself to his room for a second, and returned a minute later with the red scarf they had bought together wrapped around his neck. The pop of red made Karkat's shining eyes glow. John smiled at his boyfriend.

Karkat looked down at himself, confused at why John was smiling so goofily.

"What, do I fucking have something on me?" he asked, twisting to look at his back.

"No, Karkat, it's just… You're so damn handsome." Karkat froze and felt the tips of his ears growing red. John walked over to him, and kissed his cheek, wrapping their hands together.

"I mean it, Karkat. You are one sexy man, and I couldn't ever ask for a better boyfriend." He nuzzled his neck, inhaling his scent. It was just as intoxicating as the first time he smelled Karkat. He sighed happily. "C'mon, let's get going." John cocked his head and they smiled at each other before heading out the door, closing and locking it behind them. Karkat was lead to John's car, but this time, John opened the passenger door for him. The way he had been acting made Karkat almost outwardly swoon, so he quickly took his seat, buckling his seat belt.

John slipped in the other side of the Ford Taurus, buckling in himself. He smiled at Karkat, who sat patiently, fiddling with the end of his red scarf. A light pink flush brushed his cheeks and nose, causing John to blush himself. He turned on his car, the clock reading noon, and put it in gear.

"So where are we going?" Karkat asked as the drove away from the school and turned away from their small town.

"You'll see. It's a surprise, okay?" John giggled. Karkat bit his lip anxiously. They drove away from town and onto the highway, heading toward the slightly larger city about a half hour off. John noticed Karkat tense up as they drove along the highway, one of his hands curled around his seat belt. Oddly enough, Karkat didn't seem to notice he was doing it, but kept his eyes fixated out the window.

John flipped on the radio. Karkat seemed to perk up at the music started playing. His head almost instantly started bobbing, and humming ensued close behind.

They drove like that, humming and making idle conversation before they pulled into the big city. John knew exactly where he was going, and soon pulled into a parking space next to a brick building. He got out and opened Karkat's door, holding out his hand to help his boyfriend up. Karkat took it and was lifted to his feet, fingers clasping his hand lovingly. John led Karkat into the doors of the building, where Karkat instantly smelled sushi.

John gave the host their name, and they were guided to a small back room, where only one table sat, two chairs opposite each other. Karkat's eyes grew large when he saw the scene before him, and followed John robotically to their seats. The lighting was dim, and the restaurant was very fancy. Karkat was speechless. John smiled his big smile.

"John, you didn't have to do all of _this-_ " he gestured to the empty room, "-for _me_." John chuckled and shook his head.

"I might not have needed to, but I _wanted_ too, because you deserve it, and because I love you, Karkat," John whispered. Karkat felt his heart swell up as he chomped down on his lip, smiling with one side of his mouth.

They both ordered their sushi, Karkat playing with the pretty chopsticks while they waited. John looked at this, frowning. Karkat smiled.

"You want me to teach you? It's really simple." He stood up and walked around to John's side of the table, taking John's right hand in his left, positioning the chopsticks just so. He guided John's hand gently, helping him to pick up his napkin and other little things around the table. Once Karkat was sure John could manage, he kissed his cheek under John's glasses and sat back down.

"I didn't know you were left handed, Karkat," John noted. Karkat looked down at his folded hands, shrugging.

"I was born left-handed, but trained myself to be ambidextrous. I can use both my hands, but I guess I'll always prefer my left." He shrugged it off, not long after their food was set in front of them. Karkat had ordered a combination of multiple dishes, while John stuck to a basic plate of sushi he knew.

They laughed and joked about the little mounds of fish. Karkat managed to get rice on either corner of his mouth. John held up a finger and reached into his sleeve, pulling out a bright hanky, wiping away the stray grains.

"You and your fucking magic, John," Karkat giggled, plucking up another piece and directing John to open his mouth. John obliged, letting Karkat feed him the new sushi, before doing the same to Karkat. John seemed to really be getting the hang of using the chopsticks.

Karkat was in high spirits when John paid the bill, and they left. John wrapped his arm around Karkat's waist. The shorter boy leaned into him, accepting the affection openly. Karkat had come a long way from the start of their relationship.

Karkat turned to John when they sat in the car and leaned over, kissing him.

"That was the best date ever," he giggled. John raised his eyebrows.

"It's not over yet, Karkat!" Karkat looked surprised, but nodded slowly, leaning back into his seat. John started the car, but left it in park, reaching into the back seat, and reappearing with wrapped boxes. He placed them on the center console. Karkat's big orange eyes darted from the boxes to John and back.

"What, you thought I wouldn't get you presents? Are you crazy?" John laughed. Karkat shrugged yet again.

"I've been called that before. Are you fucking serious, though? You got me presents too? I really don't deserve you, you fucking perfect human." He shook his head, placing a hand over his eyes. John replied only by setting a box on Karkat's lap.

Karkat reached down and took the box in gentle hands, careful not to shake it. He peeled back the paper methodically, each corner lifted, then the top, and bottom torn off. A plastic CD case sat with a large red heart printed on the front. He raised an eyebrow and popped open the case, looking at the CD. It had the words "Karkat's Music" printed on it, and inside of the case had a piece of paper with a list of songs, and "Love, John" at the bottom. He smiled widely and reached for the second of the three boxes.

He again removed the paper in the same fashion and lifted a heavy book from the inside. It was leather bound, and had scrawling script at the top.

**"The Complete works of Edgar Allen Poe."**

He brushed his fingers carefully over the surface; he loved Poe's work, but never dreamed of owning all of it. His smile was huge. The last box was thin and light. The paper was different as well, black with a red ribbon. His eyebrow rose as he carefully undid the bow and removed the paper.

He gasped loudly, looking at the DVD, hand flying over his mouth. John had bought him Sabrina, his favorite movie, and the one he didn't own. He looked at John and felt a tear run down his cheek. He wrestled out of his seat belt and flung his arms around John's neck, burying his face in John's skin. John laughed loudly and hugged Karkat back, relieved he had chosen good gifts.

"I can't fucking believe it. That was the first movie we saw together, and you listened when I told you I loved it. Oh my God, John. I love you so much. These presents are amazing. I can't believe any of this is real. I must be fucking dreaming," Karkat whispered, sniffing loudly with joy. John nuzzled Karkat's neck and kissed behind his ear lightly.

"You aren't dreaming, I promise. Of course I listened to what you like, Karkat. I always listen." They held each other, snuggled awkwardly, for a few more minutes, before they released. Karkat rebuckled himself while John put the car in gear.

"We still have one more stop. This is part 2," he said slyly. Karkat sat, holding his presents protectively on his lap. The sun had come out, and it had warmed up quite a bit. They drove to the radio for only a little while. John pulled into the parking lot of a Zoo. Karkat's face sobered slightly and eyes grew melancholy. John noticed instantly when Karkat placed a hand on his shoulder.

"John, I want to tell you something." His eyes hadn't left the zoo sign.

"Alright, Karkat. You can tell me anything," he said seriously, noticing the tone change in his boyfriend's voice.

"I've been going to the hospital recently visiting someone. That someone is my mom. I've visited her every Wednesday in the hospital for 5 years. She's been in a coma all that time, and is finally showing signs of getting better." John was stricken with shock. Karkat's eyes went to his lap, grip loosening on John's shoulder.

"W-well it's good she's getting better! That's really sweet, Karkat." John took Karkat's hand in his, squeezing it tightly. Karkat had squeezed his eyes closed, taking a deep breath, before nodding.

"Thank you, John." The voice was quiet, sheepish, and quavering. John leaned over instinctively and wrapped his arms around Karkat, pulling him into his chest. They sat like that for a few seconds, before Karkat pulled away slowly. Opening his door and getting out, the phase seemed to have passed, and he smiled small. John took Karkat's hand and they walked up to the zoo gates, getting two tickets, and heading inside.

Karkat's sleeve brushed against John's wrist comfortingly as they held hands, the small pulse squeezing every so often. They stopped right in the center, John holding a map.

"Where do you want to go first? I know your favorite animal is the giraffe..." he mumbled looking at the pamphlet. Karkat looked around the place, before shrugging.

"Well, the jungle cat enclosure is only a little ways that way." He pointed down a path. John followed his finger, shoving the map in his back pocket. He smiled, and they took off, swinging their hands together a little, rocking with an unknown melody.

They watched as tigers curled up together in a hot patch of sun, and one of the three came over to the glass that separated the spectators from the animals. The zoo was nearly empty, and only John and Karkat were in the tiger viewing area. Karkat placed his hand on the glass. The tiger reared up, setting a big paw where the pale hand rested on the glass.

"Well that's really fucking weird," Karkat laughed as the tiger observed them, almost as curious about the humans as they were about him.

"He looks like you, Karkat," John laughed. Karkat simply raised an eyebrow. The tiger had big yellowish orange eyes and a fluffy coat.

"What do you mean? Are you making fun of my name, because it has fucking cat in it?" Karkat slapped a hand over his eyes, tilting his head back and groaning.

"No, I mean because it's so damn cute and cuddly looking!" John teased, grabbing the skinny boy's waist and bringing him in close, nuzzling the back of his head affectionately. Karkat giggled and tried to wiggle free, but John held him firmly. Karkat sighed and leaned back into John's chest, an absent smile on his face.

They continued through the zoo, stopping at a crepe stand, much like the ones seen in Japan. Karkat ordered one with extra strawberries; he loved strawberries, and John one with extra caramel. They walked along, eating the warm batter cones, and admiring all the animals. Karkat had forgotten how much he enjoyed the zoo.

Karkat pulled John into a gift shop when they neared the African animals, and gazed misty eyed at the elephant stuffed animals. He picked one up. It was soft and had a cute face. He snuck away from John and paid for the animal; a gift for his mom. He walked back over to John, who had picked up a big giraffe, smiling widely at Karkat.

"One last birthday gift," he said, rushing to pay for the bulky animal. John held onto the long necked toy when they left, going straight to the giraffe exhibit. Karkat leaned up against the fence, looking at the tall creatures with adoration. They strode around, heads high, and gentle eyes looking around.

"Hey, Karkat. They have a giraffe-feeding thing. You want to go see if we can do it?" John asked happily. Karkat nodded furiously. They raced up the steps to an observatory type room, with an open side facing the exhibit. A zookeeper stood with a big smile when they placed down their money, in return a pail full of what looked like graham crackers was placed in their hands. The zookeeper blew a whistle near the open end, and two giraffes came up quickly, big eyes framed by long lashes. Karkat gasped at the sheer beauty of the animals. John watched as the keeper showed Karkat how to feed them.

Karkat giggled and squealed softly while the long tongues flicked out, grabbing the snacks and pulling them back into long mouths. John took a few, and fed alongside Karkat. His happiness was contagious, and soon they were both smiling like idiots. When the bucket ran out, they returned to the main level of the zoo and continued walking, stopping to see zebras and rhinos before they reached the largest enclosure, the enclosure for the elephants.

Karkat leaned up against the rail, hand gripping the now sun-baked metal tightly. John stood next to him silently, observing as Karkat's eyes watched the big beasts, forehead wrinkling in a silent cry of sadness. Karkat's phone began to ring. He fished it out of his pocket. Giving John and apologetic glance, he flipped it open.

"Hey, doctor Carmen! What's up?" he asked, John eavesdropping. The line was silent, and Karkat repeated the doctor's name.

"Did mom wake up?" His voice was eager, and hope filled his face as he bolted upright. A sigh came from the other end.

_"Karkat… Your mom is dead."_


	21. Chapter 21

Karkat heard the words, but didn't understand them.

_"Karkat?"_ Dr. Carmen asked. The phone dropped from his hand, shattering in pieces as it hit the cement.

"Karkat? KARKAT!" John's voice was blurry and distant, like he was underwater, as his vision tunneled, while legs swayed, unsupportive. He saw John reaching for him, and then everything went black as he fainted.

John watched in horror as his boyfriend slapped to the ground, his arms barely encircling him, supporting his head from crashing into the pavement.

"Karkat! Karkat!" he shouted, patting the unconscious boy's cheeks and shaking his shoulders. A nearby zookeeper ran over and knelt down.

"What happened, kid?"

"I don't know! He just… fainted!" he said desperately, eyes not leaving Karkat's face, which had drained of even less color.

"You want me to call an ambulance?"

"No. Please... just… can you help me get him to my car?" John looked up pleadingly. The stranger nodded grimly, helping John heft up Karkat a few inches from the cold ground. They carried him out to John's car, where John thanked the man profusely as he walked away. John buckled Karkat into his seat and walked around to the other side. He had no idea if he should take Karkat to the hospital, or go back to the school. He decided the best place to go would be the school, remembering back when Karkat mentioned hating nurses and hospitals.

Karkat sat motionless, head slumped against the glass of the window, and mouth open just a bit. John sped home, driving way above the speed limit, but not caring. He just wanted to make sure Karkat was okay. The inside of his lip was quickly chewed open by his large teeth, the metallic taste of blood touching his taste buds. Whimpers of worry made themselves known, even if John didn't voluntarily make them.

The drive seemed so much longer, when if fact he shaved off a good ten minutes. He drove into the school's parking lot, taking a spot, then unbuckling his seat belt quickly. He leaned over, gently cradling Karkat's head and patting his cheeks gently.

_"Please, Karkat. Please wake up,"_ he whispered to the boy, who after a moment grunted, blackness swimming in his eyes when they first opened. Slowly, blurry light filtered in, and John's face came into view. He sat, looking at John's fearful expression for a moment, puzzled, before he suddenly remembered.

The memories flooded in, the phone call, the flashbacks he had had, and the darkness that had enveloped him. The phone call. _The phone call._

Tears sprang forth and he jolted back, smacking his head against the window. With one hand, he clutched the sore scalp, and the other fought off John, attempting to unbuckle himself. He smacked John accidentally in his cause, lunging out of the car and sprinting off. He didn't know whether it was thunder coming from the suddenly overcast sky or his head throbbing in pain, but the roar was deafening.

"Karkat!" John yelled after him, quickly getting out of the car. "Karkat, wait!" he called out once more. But he was already gone. "Karkat..."

"Fuck!" he shouted, slamming his door closed and darting off, unsure where to look first.

Karkat sprinted all the way to their dorm room, running inside, and smacking straight into Gamzee, still in tears, and sobbing mercifully. He hugged his roommate tightly, clutching to the baggy hoodie of his best friend.

"Hey, bro, you okay?" Gamzee asked, panic in his voice. Karkat shook his head, unable to respond with much more than a painful wail. "Yo, what's wrong? Did something happen with John?" When Karkat didn't answer, he took it as a yes. He released Karkat from the bear hug he'd wrapped him in and stiffened.

"Best friend, I'll be back." Karkat had already sunk down on the couch, and could only nod yes while we wrapped himself in a blanket. Gamzee left the room, closing the door with a bit more gusto than usual.

Gamzee made quick work of finding John. He was on the swing set where he and Karkat had their first kiss. Gamzee came up behind him. John turned and saw him once his presence was noticed. "Gam-" He was interrupted as he was lifted up by the collar of his shirt.

"What did you do to him?" Gamzee hissed, indigo eyes sparking, and poison dripping from his voice.

John looked at the tall guy in horror. Was this really the same boy that was always calm and out of it? _Wait..._ John realized something. _Didn't Karkat...?_

_"Gamzee is always high, it mellows him out. He's a fucking lunatic without it. The whole school knows about it, and that's the only real reason he's here."_

_"Oh, you're rooming with Gamzee?" "Yeah, trust me, I had to plead my case. Gamzee's a super genius, but his past is... well, it's worse than anyone I've known so he's kinda..." "And what's the big deal with that?" "I'm the only person that can control him when he's sobered up."_

_Karkat!_ John's brain screamed. "Wait! Gamzee, please, let me explain!" he cried.

Gamzee snarled at him, making him even more terrified. "And why should I let you motherfucking explain, huh?" he growled.

John whimpered in response. _Karkat... help me..!_ The tall boy's nostrils flared and he brought up a huge fist, swinging down into John's stomach with the force of a sledgehammer.

Gamzee was sober. Sober, angry... and Karkat was nowhere to be found.

Karkat cried for a half hour before he ran out of tears and was reduced to sniffles and whimpers. He looked around, realizing Gamzee was still gone and got up. It was a perfect opportunity to clean up the slob's room. He approached on teetering legs, still wobbly from his faint. He entered Gamzee's room and paused.

_Weird... It doesn't smell like pot that much..._ he thought, blinking. He decided to check his desk, which is the usual place he keeps the drugs. _Wait... There isn't..._

There was no pot, or any other drugs. His desk was completely empty, spare a stray seed or two. His face managed to go even paler than it had been. If there were no drugs, that meant…

Karkat let out a gasp, realizing the conversation and questions Gamzee had asked earlier.

"JOHN!" he screamed, and bolted out of the dorms. He stopped once outside, thunder boomed overhead again.

"Where would that idiot be?" he gasped aloud. "Where would I go?"

The swing set.

Karkat ran faster than he'd ever run before.

Gamzee administered another punch, already having broken John's glasses, and giving the much smaller boy a bloody lip and black eye. His stomach had been a main target, along with his sides and ribs. John wheezed for air, tears pouring down his face, and mixing with the red.

John coughed as he was hit in the stomach. "What did you do to him?" Gamzee demanded.

"I didn't do anything!" John cried, gasping for breath. I feel like... I'm about to pass out... he thought. He yelped in pain as he was thrown onto the ground. He gazed up at Gamzee, who seemed like a giant from his position.

Gamzee's eyes were bloodshot, filled to the brim with horrifying anger and hatred. He lifted a hand, this time fingers extended, where claw like nails glinted menacingly. John couldn't tell if they were real, or some sort of weapon, but he squeezed his eyes shut regardless.

"Gamzee!" a voice echoed. Gamzee turned, swinging down, catching Karkat in the shoulder with the claws, ripping the sweater. Thunder boomed again, and it started raining, fat drops pouring down on them in heavy sheets. Karkat yelped and gripped his shoulder. Gamzee straightened up, instantly realizing what he'd done.

Karkat looked at John, taking in how he looked. He visibly bristled with rage, rushing over to Gamzee, who finally took in his surroundings.

"Yo, best frie-"

_**SLAP!** _

Gamzee's eyes got big, as he looked down at Karkat in disbelief. John winced when he thought Gamzee was going to hit him, but instead a weak, almost strained voice came out of Gamzee's throat.

"B-bro?" Karkat's lips curled up, nostrils flaring. His hair matted his head in strings, and his back hunched in anger. He appeared taller than Gamzee in that moment, orange in his eyes seething red.

"Get out, Gamzee," he growled, " _GET THE FUCK OUT_." Gamzee cowered back and nodded, agreeing to get his stuff. Karkat didn't switch from his hulking position; teeth bared, and fists curled. Gamzee ran off.

Karkat looked at the ground, one arm going to his shoulder, holding the bleeding skin. He sank down into the mud. John scooted up, coming closer. He reached out and touched Karkat, who hissed at the physical contact, before shaking and slamming his free fist into the muddy water, splashing himself.

"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I can't even protect my own fucking boyfriend!" he growled, but sadness melted into the voice. He was shaking from anxiety, adrenaline, and a fresh onslaught of tears. "I should have come earlier. I didn't know he was sober. I'm so sorry, John. I understand if you hate me now. I'm worthless. I'm trash who couldn't even protect his boyfriend from his crazed best friend. I-" He stopped, taking a gasp before sobbing loudly, a low guttural noise that tore John's heart.

"Karkat, stop," he said as best as he could, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. You aren't trash. You aren't worthless. I love you the way you are, and don't ever forget that, okay?"

"My mom died, John." Karkat looked up. John had never seen a more heartbreaking face. Dull orange eyes, those that were always so vibrant, had given up, eyebrows creased together, and tears poured from his eyes. John felt tears forming in his own eyes and gripped Karkat, who was wincing from his shoulder. John took notice this time; Karkat's blood was more red than usual.

He held Karkat closely until he stopped crying, unburying his face from John's soaking shirt. They were shaking with chills from sitting in the mud and rain. Plus, Karkat was looking more sickly than usual. John stood up. Karkat tried to as well, one of his sleeves red, but he crashed back to one knee, hand holding John's shirt like a lifeline.

John bent over, and scooped up Karkat bridal style, sloshing through the mud back to his and Dave's dorm. When he stormed in, Dave just stared, flabbergasted for a moment.

"Dave, don't ask, just go get the emergency kit I keep under the sink." He laid Karkat down on the couch, who protested angrily the entire time, curse words slurring from bluish lips.

John tried to push Karkat back into a laying position when he swung up uneasily, but Karkat pushed his hand away.

"No, just… Let me get a fucking shower," he hissed, arm and head throbbing. Dave had returned with a rectangular case. Karkat got to his feet slowly. He snatched the case from the albino and looked at John expectantly.

John's eyebrow rose in confusion. Karkat sighed loudly in frustration. "I have never taken a fucking shower here. Just because you are well acquainted with my living quarters doesn't mean vice fucking versa. I've never even gone to the fucking bathroom here."

John realized that that was true, and motioned for Karkat to follow him. He showed him the rather large bathroom. Karkat closed and locked the door, cranking the hot water on, before taking the sweater off his tender body. Three long gashes covered his shoulder. They were deep and long, but Karkat doubted they would scar. He adjusted the water a little bit, wrestling out of his pants and jumping into the steam.

He hissed when the water hit his cut, as he looked around. John and Dave seemed to have staked separate corners of the shower, but both had modest amounts of product compared to Karkat. He washed up with John's supplies and stood under the water for a long time, heat reviving his strength. His knees still shook a bit, but he was able to stand straight and walk confidently again.

After around an hour, he turned off the water, wrapped a towel around his hips, and rubbed his hair almost completely dry. He opened up the rectangular kit and pulled a tube of ointment from the insides. He wiped the steam from the mirror, and watched as he slathered the balm over the three cuts. He grabbed a long roll of gauze, and professionally started at his armpit, wrapping slowly his upper chest and arm, then winding around his neck and down to create a sure barrier of stark white.

Karkat realized he had brought no clothes with him inside the bathroom, and gulped, holding the towel tightly as he crept out. He peeked around the corner, and saw only John sitting on the couch, nervously chewing his thumbnail.

"Psst! John!" he called quietly, leaning out a bit. John looked up, and sprung to his feet, coming closer. Karkat retreated a bit, leaving only his head showing. John raised an eyebrow at this, and Karkat simply blushed in response.

"I need clothes, John…" he mumbled. John smiled widely.

"Well, okay then, c'mon!" He walked through the doorway that concealed Karkat, and took in the glory that was his wet boyfriend's body. The scar that covered his upper body stuck out, obscured slightly by the bandages he had tied. Karkat patted John's cheek, snapping him out of his ogling session.

He took Karkat's free hand and led him to his bedroom. Karkat sat on the bed while John searched through the messy closet. He pulled out a pair of pajama pants and a bright blue hoodie, tossing them Karkat's way, before a pair of underwear hit him square in the face.

Karkat peeled them from his red face, eyes wide as John laughed at his reaction. Karkat mumbled a few cuss words and sat holding the clothes.

"Um… John could you… step out for a few minutes? So I can get dressed? Please?" There was shyness to his blushing voice while he looked at his bare feet, which made John's heart flutter.

"Sure!" he exclaimed, quickly leaving the room and closing the door behind him. John heard the door at the end of the hall open, and turned to see Dave smirking from his doorway.

"What?"

"Vantas staying here tonight? You two better behave, I don't want any birthday sex going on," he teased. John felt an anger boil up in his stomach. He stormed over to Dave, and stuck a finger in his best friend's chest.

"Dave, that is not cool. Do you even know what the hell happened? Why he's hurt? Why I'm hurt? Why he's staying here? Why my face looks like I was run over by a damn truck? Karkat's mom died today, Dave. I got in a fight with Gamzee, Dave. And Karkat Vantas saved my god damn life, getting hurt in the process, _Dave._ " Each time he said the name it got more and more violent, with a jab to the chest.

Dave's face went poker, but behind the shades his red eyes flew open.

"Oh my god, bro. I had no idea," he whispered. John scowled, pulling his hand away.

"Well get an idea before you make assumptions like that." He turned around, going and waiting back by his own door, arms folded across bruised ribs, and head facing down. He had on an extra pair of glasses he always kept, having left the shattered ones in the mud.

Karkat had heard the majority of the exchange, one foot in the air as he pulled on John's long Pajama pants. He gulped as finished pulling on his boyfriend's clothes. He heard a soft knock, and okay'd John to come back in.

Karkat's arms were way too short for John's hoodie, the sleeves covering his hands entirely. The pants bunched up at the bottom, and the hoodie went well past his butt. It looked like he was a child trying on his father's suit. John took in the sight of Karkat trying to pull up the hoodie sleeves, but failing as they fell back down his skinny arms. The bandages peeped out from under the blue fabric. John's brow creased. Karkat caught the look and frowned.

"Where did you learn to bandage yourself like that? It looks so… professional," John asked, obviously concerned at his boyfriend's knowledge.

"Oh, uh. Well… shit. Um… it's kind of a long story." Karkat looked back at his feet. Suddenly darkness was all around them as John flipped the light switch off. Karkat felt John gently pushing him down onto the bed. He winced when his shoulder hit the fluffy covers.

"Let's get in bed, then. It's getting late." Karkat nodded to the tall silhouette above him. He scurried back, slipping under the blankets as he felt John slide in next to him. Arms wrapped around him and pulled him into John's warm chest. Karkat sniffed, his nose stuffy.

"Well, we have time for a story." Karkat rolled over to face his now glasses-free bed-mate.

He sighed and tucked his good arm under his head.

"I've always been a fighter, not a lover, John. I might love all that romance shit, but it's actually really hard for me to translate it into a tangible relationship. I've basically spent my entire life getting into fights and getting hurt. I've been to the hospital on multiple occasions, and learned to hate it quickly. I begged my mom not to take me there, and she told me if I could prove I could take care of myself, I wouldn't have to go when I got in fights anymore. I guess I learned how to wrap myself up like the doctor's do it because I hate doctors." His eyes still had a more red tint than their usual orange, and he kept them looking away.

"Karkat, oh my god. How old were you?"

"When I learned how to do this? Uh... 7? Maybe 8?" He met John's eyes for a second before glancing back. "I should explain my blood too. I have an iron deficiency. I'm anemic, essentially. That's why I'm so pale, and that's why my eyes do this shit." He gazed up at John, who took in the full red. "We don't know why, but they shift colors a lot. They mostly stay orange, but sometimes they go red like this. Nobody really knows why."

"Your eyes are beautiful, Karkat. I love you, and your pretty blood, and your pretty eyes, and everything about you, okay?" John scooted down a bit, lips coming closer until they were only a hair apart from Karkat's.

Karkat took initiative and pressed his lips innocently against John's. John was shocked. It wasn't like any other kiss he had ever received. It was sweet and shy and... overall amazing. Like the ones in Karkat's romance movies that were screened to win big Oscars, and this one would have then them all. But it was real. Oh so real.

John kissed back after his secondary shock subsided, hand placing itself on Karkat's cheek, fingers cupping the back of his neck and behind his ear. His eyes closed, and he was engulfed in the moment, soft, warm pressure against his own mouth. They pulled apart, and John could hear a soft, shaky voice that was barely there.

"Wow…" John smiled at Karkat's comment, and opened his eyes to find sparkling ones. John pulled Karkat in closer as Karkat nestled himself comfortably on John's chest, his injured arm making itself comfortable around John's neck, whose head rested upon his own.

"John?"

"Yeah Karkat?"

"I can't get enough of you. I love you. I'm like the kid that gets caught with their hands in the cookie jar, and you're the cookies. I love you, John, you're chips ahoy." Karkat sounded sleepy, and soon the heavy breathing that defined his sleep was heard. John found himself blushing and smiling giddily, snuggled up to Karkat.

They fell asleep, a tangle of limbs and baggy clothes, warm with each other. They felt safe, secluded, and alone. But mostly they felt safe.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ here come the tears.
> 
> Not to self: never voice act your own MONOLOUGE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So obviously youmacon is this weekend(the first to the fourth of November) and I will be there! I'm cosplaying Karkat, god tier Karkat, Kate from MONSTERKIND, and Fem Death the Kid! If you think you spot me (tall, chubby, awkward and a soul-eater messenger bag) PLEASE COME SAY HI!!!

Karkat awoke long before the sun rose. John's clock reading 5am, he laid there, the previous days events sinking in. He felt heavy, like he was hauling bricks from his shoulders. He managed to replace himself in John's arms with a pillow.

John had washed the black pants from yesterday, but the sweater was completely ruined. He changed into said pants, and the hoodie he slept in stayed put. He pulled on his shoes and left the dorm room as silently as he could. The changing temperatures finally decided on one, freezing. Karkat saw his breath as he ran to his car, the Thursday morning abandoned by the sun, birds, and leaves.

Karkat drove to the hospital, knuckles clenching the steering wheel until they were pink and splotchy. His shoulder ached relentlessly as his teeth chewed on his lip. He pulled into the parking lot and got out of his Equinox, staring up at the gloomy, white building, shoulders shaking violently. He took slow steps to the interior, where a familiar nurse looked at him with sad eyes.

Dr. Carman met Karkat and gritted his teeth at the sight of the pale, sick, and injured boy. Karkat kept his head down, defeat splayed over his face. Dr. Carman pulled him into a tight hug, the teenager limp.

"I need to see her… I want to see her for real, one last time. Before we have to fucking bury her and cover her with fucking makeup to make her scars disappear. I want to see my _mom_ ," Karkat said, voice quivering.

His forearm was taken gently, the white doctor's smock striking against the blue. He was led into the elevator and the doctor pressed a button. They whizzed downward for a few Moments before Karkat was again led through the hospital corridors, a maze of sorrow that not many could complete.

They were in the morgue before Karkat knew it, standing in front of one of the sleeves built into the wall.

_**"S. VANTAS."** _

Dr. Carman slid out the rack and unzipped the body bag, peeling it away from the soft face. Even in the dim, bluish and buzzing lights, Sofia was strikingly beautiful. Even in death, her pale skin and dark hair gave off an unearthly glow. The small scars on her face and upper torso were white or red, and the still lips were set in a sad smile.

Karkat stared at his mom, taking in the sight of her waxy skin and stillness. No beeping was there to accompany the sight, no tubes strapped to her, and no dingy hospital bed to support her. Instead, a white body bag and a dingy morgue was the new setting. Karkat didn't even know he was crying until the floor around him splashed with fat tears.

Dr. Carman had stepped away, letting Karkat pay his respects.

"Momma, I know you can't hear me here, but I know you can hear me from somewhere. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm sorry for everything. I know where you are is better, and you're probably with Grandpa and the rest of the family. I wish you didn't have to go, though. I wish you could have woken up, seen me, met John and Gamzee, and been part of a two-person family again. I wish you could have seen me grow up, and I wish you could have been there for everything. I'm sorry you had to die, Momma. I fucking miss you. I've fucking missed you for 5 years. I still remember that talk we had when I was little, and I plan on making it happen, okay? So, wherever you are, I love you mom, and please wait for me, too..."

His voice was strong, but quiet, the cement making it hollow. Dr. Carmen stepped back up and placed a hand on Karkat's shoulder.

"Are you ready?" he asked the boy, who was wiping the tears from his face. Karkat shook his head jerkily. Carman set his mom back in the wall, latching the gate.

As they were leaving, Karkat pulled Dr. Carman into a vacant waiting room.

"Dr. Carman… I want to say thank you. For everything. You took care of me, and my mom, for so fucking long. You actually respected me, and you're more of a father than mine will ever be... Thank you so much for these years. I might not be back much, so I'm going to say goodbye... for now." Karkat stuck out his hand, but was given a hug instead. For the first time in his life he hugged the burly doctor back, and left the hospital without another word.

It was still freezing, nearing 8am, when he got in his car. He put it in gear and drove to the coffee shop that was just opening. Terezi sat by upon her stool, dark glasses glinting burgundy. She perked up when Karkat came in the door, but her face fell soon after.

"What's wrong, Karkles?" she asked, cocking her head.

"Terezi… My mom died yesterday." It felt like he wasn't even in his body; the words coming from another voice. They exchanged a few more words before Karkat took his usual seat. He sat for a little over an hour, cups stacking up on the table.

He felt another presence as he stared deep into his hot chocolate, and looked up to find John sitting across from him, purple eye less swelled, and lip already scabbed over. They just sat there, mutual understanding flowing in the quiet. After a while, Karkat took a deep breath and set his cup aside, shoving his hands deep in the hoodie pocket.

"It was a Wednesday, 5 years ago… and my birthday… My dad was going to be gone that week, because he never stuck around for my birthday. We planned to take a trip to the zoo... my first actual visit. We had been planning for months, staying up well past my bedtime, looking at books of animals we wanted to see, and planning the entire day. My twelfth birthday rolled around, and like it did every year, no dad was there. Not a word from him. Mom woke me up early, way before the sun had even risen. She bundled me up in a sweater, a scarf and these ridiculous mittens, and piled me into the car. I got to sit in the front seat, which I never got to do, and we listened to Coldplay and all this other great music in the dark morning.

We drove for an hour... and I had no idea where we were going. She pulled into a deserted lot and tugged me, along with a thermos and a big blanket, onto an abandoned beach. We sat wrapped up in the blanket, drinking hot chocolate, and listening to the ocean, pointing out the last constellations while the sky started turning purple. We sat together and watched the sunrise, music coming from the open doors of our car. We watched this beautiful scene unfold. It was the most beautiful sunrise in history; clouds tinted orange, pink, and blue. I couldn't tell where the ocean ended and sky began.

We got back in the car and drove to a little shop for breakfast, mom let me order whatever I wanted, so I ordered the most sugary, chocolate and strawberry coated thing on the menu, and she got strawberry crepes, with extra strawberries. We ate breakfast in this empty place, laughing at each other while we tried to lick whipped cream from our cheeks and noses and wherever else we managed to get it, including my eyebrow.

We went to the movies; it was a double feature, with the Titanic and Sabrina. I had picked them out. By the time the films got over, we were both hungry again and got lunch from a little place we found while we headed closer to the zoo. When we got to the zoo, we made a beeline for the giraffes and elephants, our favorite animals. I couldn't believe how amazing all the animals were. They were so big and gorgeous. We wandered around the zoo for hours, looking at animals, buying souvenirs, and having the best time.

We were driving home, headed the same route we took yesterday, when a semi truck lost control and rammed into our car. It flipped 6 times and landed upside down. Someone came up and shouted at me before I went unconscious, screaming into a phone at 911.

I had a severe concussion, my eye had multiple lacerations on it, and my leg had been skinned clean. A piece of glass cut my throat, down to my hip, creating this huge gash that had to be sewn up, and that was just the beginning of my injuries. My mom had a lot of little wounds; cuts that littered her body, but one down her arm and next to her mouth were really deep. She also had cracked ribs, and a bad concussion like myself. Only... when she went unconscious, she didn't wake up again.

The doctors told me I couldn't see my mom, but that's all I really wanted. I was hurting and scared. I just wanted _my mom_ , but they kept me in the children's wing. I was sitting by myself, off in a corner on this bench, trying my best to disappear and not cry because they had just shoved a needle full of sedatives into my arm, when someone walked up to me. It was Gamzee. He sat down next to me, and we talked all the rest of the day. I didn't tell him anything about my mom, though. Just that I'd been in an accident.

I was in the hospital for over a month, and my dad only came to see me once on Christmas. My Grandma came a lot, though, but one day she told me she had to move across the country. So I was left alone again.

When I was discharged, I was placed with my dad because he lied about his job to keep me around. He wasn't ever home, but I managed to live on my own all right. I got up for school, and cleaned the house, and cooked myself food, and did the laundry. Gamzee became my best friend, and practically lived with me. His foster parents were only a few blocks away, and didn't really care what he did.

I visited my mom every Wednesday at 5:30. It became my world, to sit by my mom for an hour, talking to her and holding her hand. I got cold and distant, and the only thing that managed to keep me here was my mom. I hated nearly everyone and everything, but my mom was always there to make it better.

I got expelled from the public school system earlier this year, alongside Gamzee, but he'd been offered a place here. I was just the tag along; the only person who could control him when he was sober, and he was the only person I really had. I visited my mom every Wednesday, and that never changed. Yesterday was the first time I skipped a visit, and I thought it couldn't hurt, but it did… and now my mom is dead… and I feel more alone than ever."

John stared, flabbergasted. Karkat trembled a bit, a few stray tears splashing onto the table.

"You'll always have me, Karkat," John promised. Karkat shook his head, staring at the table.

"You'll leave one day. They _all_ leave. _Everyone_ goes, and I'm _always_ alone," he whimpered, shoulders hunching up around his face and hands sliding onto the table.

"Karkat Vantas, I won't leave you. I swear. You want to know why? I don't want to be homeless." Karkat looked up, confused. "Home is where the heart is, and my heart will _always_ be with you. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry for everything that's happened." John cupped Karkat's hands in his own, humming quietly to his shaking boyfriend.

They didn't say anything else to each other. John presumed he helped, while Karkat slowly retreated into his mind. His emotions rattled loose from the past events, and he didn't know what to do.

He wasn't sure of anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys thank you all for the kudos, and nearly 2,500 views! I love comments too! If you'd like to submit any sort of fanart for the fic, please go to www.ps-fanart.tumblr.com and if you'd like to follow me I'm www.spookin-didamounds.tumblr.com


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is called Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe! I saw them in concert and got to meet them! They're amazing, please go check them out!

Karkat returned to his dorm without John, and indeed, found Gamzee to be missing. His room was clean, and most belongings missing. Karkat didn't turn on any of the lights, and simply sat on the sofa in the darkness. He slumped over, arms resting on knees, black surrounding him.

Night fell, but Karkat didn't move. He sat in that one position as the moon rose, casting sickly pale light over his skin. This was the first night he had spent alone in years. Gamzee had practically moved in with him when he turned 14.

At dawn, Karkat got up robotically, heading into his bedroom and putting on a black button up and a pair of black jeans. He tied his tie in place and combed his hair. His now dull eyes were rimmed with heavy dark circles, and the fact he had a cold didn't help. He slipped on his shoes and headed out the door, locking it, and slipping the key in his pocket. He feet fell heavily, atomatonic in his movements.

Karkat headed down into his car, turning it on, and shutting off the music. He pulled away from the school, and again pulled away from the small town, driving off toward the bigger city. It took roughly an hour, and by then the streets were beginning to liven up. He stopped at a Starbucks, and walked inside.

"Venti Strawberries and Crème Frappe with a double caffeine shot," he said tiredly, placing the money on the counter. After getting his cold beverage, spiked with the awakening shots, he returned to his car. He sucked down the large elixir quickly, the cold drink icing the fire in his belly. He took off again, driving in the deafening silence for another quarter hour. He finally stopped at a dreary looking shop and parked.

Karkat made his way into the place where he would be purchasing his mother's casket. A round, older man with a bald head met him, introducing himself as Mr. Scratch, but to call him Doc. Karkat shook his hand and proceeded to be led to the showroom, if it could be called that.

Karkat knew exactly what his mother wanted, and looking over the boring cherry and oak, he frowned even more than he already had.

"Where do you keep your ebony caskets?" he asked quietly. Doc took him by the arm, leading him to a separate wing. Karkat was amazed to find the tiny number of caskets, but saw one in the back corner that he knew was perfect.

The shiny wood was black at the bottom, slowly fading into gray, and then white at the top. The trim was silver, and engraved with bright copper. The lining was crimson, and plush silk. Karkat swallowed the lump in his throat.

"How much is this one?"

"You can't be serious! That's one of the most expensive-"

"I _said_ How _**much**_?" Karkat nearly shouted, teeth gritting as he quelled the anger inside him.

"...12 thousand."

"Fine. I'll take it." The man was in shock as Karkat pulled out a blank check from his wallet, and a pen from his jacket pocket. Doc Scratch gave the information, and Karkat made out the check quickly, large, scribbly text taking up copious amounts of space. He handed over the check and continued to make arrangements for the delivery and dates needed.

When Karkat sat back down in his car, reality finally started sinking in. This wasn't a joke, or a sick game. His mother was dead, and he just bought her casket. Her funeral was going to be on Wednesday, and he was going to have to be there. He bit his lip until he felt it bleeding, the metallic taste coating his tongue. He blinked back his tears, and started driving back toward home.

The rest of his day was spent on the lonely swing set, everyone else in school, watching his breath form puffs of white as it escaped his mouth in the freezing air. He heard the bells ringing to dismiss the classes. He stood up, walking toward the dorms he knew Gamzee was at.

Karkat knocked on the door softly and heard a shy voice call for him to wait a second. Tavros opened the door, and smiled slightly at Karkat from his wheelchair.

"Hi, Tavros… is… Gamzee her-" He was interrupted as the tall boy appeared around the corner.

"Hey, Tavbro, who's ther-" The looked at each other for a few seconds before Karkat walked up and gripped his best friend tightly, face resting against Gamzee's upper stomach. Gamzee softly returned the hug.

"Come home… Please, Gamzee... I need you there. I'm so fucking sorry," Karkat whispered, voice quivering slightly. He sniffed his stuffy nose as Gamzee squeezed him.

"Of course, best friend. I'm sorry too. What I did was wrong, yo." Karkat was relieved to hear the apology. Gamzee promised to be home in time for dinner. Karkat went up to Tavros after, looking at his feet.

"Tavros, I… thanks for taking in Gamzee for these past few days. It means a lot to me knowing that he was safe, and with someone who loves him." Tavros blushed hard at Karkat's words.

"Uhh, yeah! It was no problem, really! He can always stay here if he, uhh, needs to!" Tavros smiled. Karkat felt his lips curling up too. Despite the smile, Karkat was hollowed out inside, and quickly made his leave from Tavros's dorm.

Karkat cradled Kida back in his room, feeding her treats and humming quietly as he stroked her small, chubby body. It was nothing unusual for them, but the cuddle session was a bit shorter than normal. He returned Kida to her cage and stripped off his suit and shirt, leaving him in the bandages and pants. He laid down on his bed, pulling the silky cover over his body and facing the wall, mid-evening light casting dancing shadows along his walls.

There was a large thunk, and soon afterward, footsteps sounded in the main house. Thinking it was Gamzee, Karkat didn't even shift. He kept his eyes trained on the wall by Kida's cage. His own door opened, and socked feet padded across, the click of the knob shutting behind the intruder. He felt the blanket shift, and mattress dip.

He instantly knew it was John who conformed to his body, wrapping his arms around the thin waist. One hand went up to his head, stroking the thick mess of black locks gently.

Karkat didn't move, or turn, or respond in any way. What John could see of his eyes were dull, and glassy, and his body was limp, heavy even.

John knew how badly Karkat had been hurt as he continued stroking the messy hair, pressing soft kisses to the back of his neck and behind his ear.

Lying in bed had become so much more intimate for them since that first sleepover, where Karkat had accidentally curled into John. The blankets and pillows were a fortress where they could talk, kiss, share secrets, and be true with each other. They had always felt safe when in bed together, but now it was different. It was distant, and severing. John opened his mouth to say something, but the words of comfort died before they escaped.

He sang instead, quietly, and husky as his voice was, he sang to Karkat.

_  
"You didn't have to look my way_

_Your eyes still haunt me to this day_

_But you did… Yes you did._

_You didn't have to say my name_

_Ignite my circuits, and start a flame._

_But you diiiid._

_Oh, turpentine race me home._

_Cause I don't want to live my life alone._

_Well I've been waiting for you all my life…_

_Oh, all of my life._

_Set me free, my Honeybee._

_Honeybee_

_You didn't have to smile at me_

_Your grins the sweetest that I've ever seen_

_But you did, yes you did._

_You didn't have to offer your hand_

_Since I've kissed it, I am at your command._

_But you did._

_Oh turpentine race me home._

_Cause I don't want to live my life alone_

_Well I've been waiting for you all my life._

_Oh, all of my life._

_Set me free, my Honeybee._

_Honeybee_

_Hello goodbye, t'was nice to know you_

_How I find myself without you_

_That I'll never know._

_I let myself go._

_Hello, goodbye I'm rather crazy._

_And I never thought I was crazy,_

_But what do I know?_

_I let myself go._

_Honeybee…_

_Honeybee…_

_Hello goodbye it was nice to know you,_

_How I find myself without you_

_That I'll never know._

_I let myself go._

_Hello goodbye I'm rather crazy,_

_But I never thought I was crazy._

_Hello goodbye I'm rather crazy_

_But I never thought I was crazy."_

Karkat has sluggishly fallen asleep, heart pounding in his ears, mixing with the melody in a sickeningly sweet lullaby. A sigh rocked his body as he slipped off, John feeling the release. He stopped singing and sniffed quietly, pulling Karkat closer.

Karkat didn't curl into John or cuddle as usual, but instead he curved into himself. John felt lonely as he held the boy he loved as he felt hot drips slide down his face. His heart ached for his boyfriend, even if it had only been a month and a half. He dried his face, slipping off his glasses at the same time, and buried it into sleeping Karkat's neck, closing his eyes and fighting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys! So I went to youmacon and that's why there were no updates recently! I'm back though. 24 is safaris I've written, so not I'll be updating Fanfiction.net along with this one regularly after that! Also if you frequent Starbucks get the strawberries and CREME frappe because that is everything I hold dear to me in a cup.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys, thank you so much for the over 3000 views, and over 60 kudos! As you know, this is the last chapter of the prewritten section, so now you have to wait for regular updates. My hard drive has also crashed, but soon I'll be getting a new computer. Please don't fret!
> 
> Love Katy.

John spent the next day swaddling Karkat in blankets on the couch, and stuffing chicken soup and orange juice into his sickly boyfriend. Karkat, in turn, spent his on the phone, jabbering away with different companies, and places. As John heated more soup on the stove, he heard the movie in the living room mute, and Karkat's voice sober.

"Yeah, I know okay? I know we bought that plot a long time ago. Nobody's been tending it? A tree? Who gives a flying fuck about a tree? Leave it. A weeping willow? Even better. Yeah, cut the grass and shit. Wednesday, that's the funeral. Thanks for it. Yeah. Okay. Bye."

John heard a deep, sad sigh come from the couch, and the movie's audio struck back up. He poured the soup in a big bowl, and a Sprite accompanied the chicken and stars.

_"Be our guest_

_Be our guest."_

John smiled as Karkat sang quietly, voice raspier than usual. The room was dark, and Beauty and the Beast played with volume soft. Karkat was burrito'd in three blankets, a heating pad on his back, and box of tissues set on his knees as he sprawled on the sofa.

"Thanks for taking care of me, John…" Karkat muttered with a blush, taking the soup and Sprite. The red bendy straw was shaped like a crab, and he took a sip familiarly.

"It's no problem, Karkat. I love you, in sickness and in health." John wrapped an arm around Karkat's shoulders and snuggled his nose against the pale cheek.

"Sickness and Health, 'Till death doth us part?" Karkat said rather old fashionedly. "What are we getting fucking married now?" He teased, a small smile breaking his down turned pout. John chuckled, and shrugged, noting the improvement already in Karkat's cold.

The viewing was set for Tuesday, so Saturday night Karkat sat John and Gamzee down at the kitchen table of the dorm.

"Guys… I… We need Paul bearers. I'm one obviously, but… will you… maybe… please?"

"No problem, best friend." Gamzee chimed in coolly, and John agreed as quickly.

Karkat and John sat cuddled close on the couch, sharing a large blanket, and Atlantis playing on the TV, Kida nestled warmly in the folds of Karkat's knees.

"Will you come with me Tuesday?" The question broke the comfortable silence they had been having, and it took John a moment to process. "I don't… I don't think I can handle this whole fucking thing by myself, John." Karkat squeezed John's hand tightly, but a soft kiss met his cheek.

"Of course, Karkat. Gamzee and I will both be there for you. On both days. I promise, okay?" Karkat nodded, and they fell back into the warm quiet.

That night wasn't much different that those previous. Karkat's body so chillingly close, but so very distant. John dreamt of his own family, and of his own friends, loss and gain all in the same. He didn't quite understand, but Karkat shook him awake in the early morning hours.

"Wake up, John. I want to go for a walk, is that okay?" John made a gurgle, and shoved his glasses up his nose. He checked his phone, which practically burnt out his poor corneas, and saw it was nearing 3:30 in the morning. He got up, and mechanically shoved his body into the clothes he had packed, before throwing on his coat. Karkat was in a black fluffy sweater, and his usual skinny jeans. Karkat grabbed a thermos and a Tupperware square before taking John's hand and leading the half-asleep boy out the door.

Karkat's butt found his swing, and John's found his as easily as the navy sky was fading indigo. He opened the plastic container, and the mouthwatering scent of pumpkin and cinnamon perfumed the air around them. Karkat handed John a still warm, frosted muffin, and John raised an eyebrow.

"Cinnamon Pumpkin spice muffins with cream cheese frosting. What? I can bake you know." He smiled and giggled the first happy sound since that night he got the phone call. John took a still warm muffin, and bit into it, amazed at the flavor, and was instantly shocked from his groggy stupor.

"So why did we come here?"

"Dunno, I couldn't sleep so I made muffins. The moon is starting to fill out, and I made hot cocoa too. It's just peaceful, you know? Nighttime walks where you know you're safe, when it's so cold you can see your breath. The air smells like snow but nothing wet comes from the sky yet, and Christmas lights give the sky an extra glow. It makes me feel placid, but maybe I'm crazy. Maybe it's because I was born 12 days before Christmas, so this season just seems a little bit more special? A time to spend your life with people you love most, that's the holiday season for me. I haven't been a very good love bug recently, so maybe going for a walk, just us. Maybe a little treat, maybe an 'I'm sorry for being a total pretentious asshole, and a bad person, and one of the worst boyfriends ever,' is what I'm trying to get to. I love you John Egbert, and I'm sorry if I seem distant, and rude for a while, but this is a hill that might take a while to get over, but I don't want to lose you because losing you seems so much worse than anything else right now… So I made muffins, and cocoa, and I just made a fool out of myself, but I just want you to know I'm not pulling away on purpose, and I'm not trying to hurt you, because love isn't something I've had a lot of in my life, and it's actually fucking great, so I don't want to not have it again…"

John sat speechless at Karkat's sudden burst. He swallowed slowly, giving his hand to Karkat's, and interlacing their fingers.

"I don't blame you for anything Karkat, or how you're feeling, or anything like that. I'm not going to leave because you get a little sad, okay? I know what this is like. My mom died a few years ago too… I used to live in Washington State with my mom and dad, and one night, when I was 13, they go out for a date night they always had. It was rainy, but I wasn't worried. I stayed up late watching movies, and it was midnight when one of my neighbors crashes in, and looks at me, and just grabs me, and I was so confused. Their car had slid off the road, and my mom was killed on impact. My dad suffered some injuries but nothing too bad." Karkat turned to stare at John, who had his blue eyes glued to the ground.

"We packed up and moved here as soon as we could. We cut ties with everyone, and everything, and just found a place to live, which is about an hour away from the school. My dad and I were always close, but losing mom… Losing mom hurt our relationship for a long time. We couldn't talk honestly, and we hid our sadness behind these masking smiles, and I barely came out of my room. That's when he started leaving me little notes reassuring me that he loved me, and that he was, " John's voice hitched, "so so proud of me." A weak little noise, like something a kitten would make, escaped, and Karkat placed the items on the ground, wrapping John up tightly while he cried.

They sat there as the sun rose, noses going numb, but bodies kept warm by the closeness that they managed to find. Karkat wiped tears away, and soothed, and John nuzzled and hugged, both receiving the affections they desired. They headed back, Tupperware tucked under arms, and hands interlocked, silently stepping over the crunchy, frosted grass that December had brought.

"Maybe you should go back to your dorm until Tuesday… You've been so excellent John, so you deserve a break, okay? I'm running you fucking ragged, so go get some sleep, and watch your Nic cage movies, and hang out with Strider until then." Karkat mumbled this as they got to his dorm room. He placed the packaged muffins in John's hands, and smiled forlornly.

"Okay, Karkat, if that's what you want me to do. What time do you need me here on Tuesday?" John asked, looking at the orange lumps in the plastic box.

"Four o'clock, the viewing starts at five." Karkat kissed John's cheek, and headed inside of his dorm, closing the door slowly, before retiring to his bed.

He fell into a fitful slumber, but at least he was able to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Karkat helped Gamzee into his suit, and made sure they both looked perfect. The arrival of John, also clad in his formal wear, signaled the time for them to leave. They all piled into Karkat's Equinox, and Karkat drove off. 

It was a silent drive, but not uncomfortable. Nobody spoke, because nobody needed to. They pulled up to the funeral home, a light airy place that felt heavy to Karkat. He and his small group went in, and met with the director. He showed them to a blue and cream room, Lilies and orchids sat in fancy vases around the room. The casket sat at the far end of the room, and a wing off the side resounded a place for escape. 

The first person to come shocked Karkat entirely. Dr. Carman walked in, somber faced, and holding himself with an air of sadness. He and Karkat hugged awkwardly, and Introductions went around.

"He took care of my mom and me in the hospital. I owe him a lot. Thank you for coming." Karkat sincerely offered, letting his eye wander to the few others that came in. He went and looked at his mother, and felt his stomach turn. She looked like she had never had an accident, scars gone, and skin perfected to every detail. He was sickened. 

John looked around for his boyfriend, unable to see him in the main room. He trod into the side wing, and found a small shaking ball on the couch, pillows placed around him protectively. John went over, and sat down, wrapping his arms around Karkat, shushing and patting him. 

"Karkat, it's okay. You have to go out there, for the people. I'll be there the whole time, alright? I promise." John rocked him, and the ball nodded. He unfurled, shaking. They walked out hand in hand to see many people had gathered, some schoolmates had even shown up. 

He saw Gamzee standing near the casket with a familiar silhouette and stepped over to say hello to Sollux.

"I'm really thorry, KK. Really, thith thukth." Sollux gave Karkat a hug, and a sympathetic look.

"She's not here, but she's in the best place possible, I know that." Karkat sighed, And felt the back of his neck tingle with an urge to look behind him. He excused himself when he saw the small figure, accompanied by the towering one walk in. One in a green dress the other a blue suit.

"Equius, Nepeta, you came?" He asked flabbergasted, he knew of their allegiant friendship, just as close as he and Gamzee, but never expected the two to show up to something so grim.

"Of course we did, Karkat! We had to be here to support you!" Nepeta exclaimed, a look of hurt shock in her eyes. Karkat turned to face Equius who held a blank expression mirroring a grimace.

"I express extreme regret for what happened in the past, Karkat, and also for the situation that brings us here today." Equius had a deep, breathy voice, and sincere remorse showed in his blue eyes. 

"It's all okay, Equius. Thank you, though, both of you, it means a lot that you came." Karkat gave them a small smile, and Nepeta hugged Karkat tightly, which he returned. She was stronger than she looked.

Karkat found Doctor Carman again, and tapped his shoulder. "Doctor, we... We need another Paul bearer... I was wondering if you'd do it? I mean, you're the only other person I'd trust with taking care of my mom... And you've done a pretty fucking great job until now..."

"I'd love to, Karkat. " it was the simple response that kept him going for the rest of the viewing. That and the small squeezes, and hugs John gave. It was brutally hard, greeting everyone with a somber smile, and receiving the hugs and attention he so desperately didn't want. it went on for a few more hours like that, shaking hands, making small talk, retreating for short periods of time to catch his breath, and wipe away stray tears with shaking hands. 

It was nearly 8 when everyone filed out, leaving Karkat, John, and Gamzee to clean up. They took pots of flowers, and boards of photographs out to Karkat's car. John held a vase of Lilies when he heard a shatter. He turned to see water leaking onto the floor from broken glass, and Karkat hunched up, a man around six feet, heavier set, and barely passing as dressed up stood.

Karkat was snarling, lips set back, just like when Gamzee had hurt him. His voice was ragged, torn and ripped apart as it daggered through the air.

_"You."_


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well guys, it's been a while. I'm sorry! I've been worked to the bone, and been feeling pretty crappy lately. Pretty much the only reason I'm still here is because of this fanfic, and the little dream I have of getting published. The show must go on, and I'm not leaving ya'll hangin! The 20's are nearing the end! Meaning The Heartbreak Twenties will be over, and hopefully the 30's will be a lot better! I'm pretty sure this fanfic is going to be over 50 chapters. Anyway, thanks a lot for reading, reviewing, and sticking with me through this thing. If you'd like to submit fanart: .com. My tumblr: .com. Kiara's tumblr: .com. If you'd like to add me on skype, please send me a message, I love talking to you guys!
> 
> Please have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a very good New year.
> 
> Love, so very much love, Katy.

" **You**. Why the _fuck_ did you come?!" Karkat was seething, Gamzee was frozen, and John watched, gripping the sides of the plant he was clutching.

"Hello, Son. I came to say goodbye to your mother... I was hoping I wasn't too late."

Oh. **OH. _Oh._**

Karl Vantas stood stock still, Karkat was close to tears.

"No. Don't fucking call _me your_ son. I'm not _your_ son. I was the _accident_ , the **thing** _you_ almost made mom give up! **You** don't get to see her; **you** don't get that right any fucking more. **You** shouldn't even be here, go back to your _whore_ and your new fucking life." Karkat had poison in his throat, and he wasn't afraid to spit it. Karl's brow furrowed, and took on a face closely resembling Karkat's.

" _Don't_ you use that tone with _me_ , Karkat. Don't call Alyssa a whore, either. You let me see Sophia _this instance_."

" _Unless you can get through me you're never laying eyes on her again_." Karkat lunged, fist making contact with the man's chest. They went toppling, Karkat pummeling. Karl made no moves, but tried his hardest to deflect the blocks.

"I don't want to fight you!" Snapped Karl, but Karkat wasn't listening anymore. Eventually, Karl swung back, landing a solid blow to the smaller figures gut. Suddenly a roar was let out, Karkat lifted and set in John's arms after he dropped the pot, and Gamzee was dragging Karl outside by his collar.

John looked down to Karkat, who was coughing, and crying, but not from the punch.

"I can't fucking believe he came." it came muffled, between jacket and sobs.

This wasn't right, but they couldn't say anything. John just took Karkat out to his car, where Gamzee already sat in wait. John didn't ask questions, just finished cleaning up. He drove them back to the school, and curled in bed with Karkat. Tomorrow was a big day for all of them.

Karkat was up early in the shower, admiring the sick bruise on his stomach. He knew his father would come, but he forgot how strong the man really was. Hot water coated his body, and eased the pain of what he had to do today. Getting out and toweling off, he dressed, again in a suit. Waking up Gamzee, the shorter one quietly asked for a favor.

"Gamzee... I know how you feel about this but... Would you not wear your fucking paint today? I... Just... Want you to clean up nicely." He was wrapped in a tight hug.

"Sure thing, Karbro. This ain't about me today." Karkat pulled back, leaving Gamzee to get changed, and found John also in the midst of changing.

"Oh, I... Shit, sorry!" Karkat stuttered, closing the door. John laughed, and pulled it back open.

"Karkat we've changed in front of each other for months." Karkat blushed, and shrugged, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, and still averting his eyes from his boyfriend, instead looking at Kida in her cage.

John lightly kissed Karkat, just a soft peck, when he was done changing.

"We should get going soon." Karkat whispered, glancing up through his thick eyelashes. John ached a bit in his chest, the complete denial of his affections hurting him a bit. He'd had girlfriends in the past that had eventually done the same thing, but it had never hurt as much as this time.

Karkat shimmied past him, and left the room, peeking his head into Gamzee's. The taller boy had three long scars over his face from a fight long ago, but his hair was slicked back, and he was dressed sharply in his suit. He wore the paint to cover the bad memory of his scars.

"Time to go, best friend?" Gamzee asked with a raised eyebrow, and Karkat nodded. John met Karkat by the door of their dorm, and took the palm of his hand, joining them together. Karkat squeezed back lightly, and the three made their way out to the car.

Karkat drove white knuckled out of town, teeth gritted together in distress, but he didn't let anything but his resting face show. Corners of his mouth downturned, nose scrunched, and eyebrows furrowed, he found himself relaxing the pale skin over and over again, trying to hide the outward emotions.

The tall church was beautiful, the morning brisk and cloudy, and the setting just seemed right. It would still be quite some time before the rest of the procession would arrive. It was open for anybody who wished to attend, but Karkat sincerely hoped not many students would come.

Yes, it was nice having the moral support, but Karkat hated the feeling of pity that was given off by the fellow teenagers. They went to the downstairs of the church, where a small room had been set up for them to sit in and wait. Doctor Carman soon arrived, and sat with Gamzee as Karkat took John upstairs.

"She was beautiful Karkat..."John whispered, squeezing Karkat's hand as they gazed on the open casket.

" _Was_ beautiful. Not like this. They coated her entirely in crap to make her look 'better'."

"Her name was Sophia? Sophia Vantas..."

"Sophia Aphrodite Vantas. Vantas is her maiden name. She never changed it, and I never took Karl's." Karkat wiped a little streak from his cheek, and sniffed. Somebody cleared their throat, and both boys turned their heads. An elderly woman stood, wooden cane in her long hand. A mope of ashen hair, streaked with white, was tired into a bun around her pretty face.

"Hello, Karkat." she greeted, and John felt his hand being dropped, and watched in slow motion as Karkat ran up, embracing the little old lady. He shook without tears, and the old lady hugged him back tightly. Her skin was wrinkled, pale, and her eyes were a deep maroon.

" _Hi Nana._ " Karkat whispered, relishing the smell of fresh baked bread that wafted off his grandmother. It had been years since he'd last seen her.

They parted, and Grandma Vantas turned Karkat toward John.

"Who's this fine lad?" she had a distinct accent, somewhat English, somewhat southern.

"N-Nana this is John..." Karkat stuttered, and John blushed a little.

"How do you know my Grandson?" Grandma Vantas asked stepped forward with a quizzical glance.

"I-I'm his boyfriend, madam." Nana paused, and turned to look back at Karkat, raising an eyebrow, then to John. She opened her arms up, and stepped forward, embracing John tightly.

"Lovely to meet you, John. I'm so glad you're here to support Karkat. My name is Leah." John hugged Leah back, a small chuckle escaping him. When they drifted apart, the three turned to look at the casket. Leah reached out carefully, touching Sophia's face.

" _My little Sophia..._ I never thought it would be this way... I always thought I would die an old hag, and you'd be there with Karkat saying goodbye to me instead of this." Leah's voice was tight while she addressed her daughter, who lay cold and stiff in the casket, and shiny tears washed her cheeks, slender fingers wiping Sophia's cheeks, and hands.

Karkat stayed behind when Leah pulled John away toward the basement again. Those words had been too much. He sank to his knees, balled fists, sobbing loudly and letting the tears stream over his face. He didn't care now. He was alone, with the person he had cared most about, but she was dead and he was saying goodbye.

Karkat cleaned his face on the handkerchief in his pocket, and returned with a slightly reddened nose, and puffy eyes. Karkat made a round of introductions. Leah hugged Gamzee in a warm hello, and Gamzee was overjoyed to see her again.

"Thank's for coming, Nana." Karkat said quietly, checking the watch he had on his wrist. It was nearing 11am.

"You think I wouldn't come?" His grandmother ruffled his hair playfully. "Gamzee told me about what happened with Karl yesterday. I'm proud of you, Karkat." Leah kissed her grandson's forehead, and all five of them got up as the church bells started ringing.

Karkat and Leah took either side of the now-closed, flower adorned casket, placing a hand on it. The church wasn't packed at all, only those close to Karkat were there. Nepeta, Sollux, Equius, Dave, and Rose were the only classmates he identified besides Gamzee. Members of the hospital, and a few of the teachers were there as well.

Organ music began to play, and both family members, tears in their eyes, began pushing the casket into the chapel area.

Taking their seats by the others in the front, the pastor began his procession by greeting everybody. John held Karkat's hand tightly, noticing how much paler he was, and that orange eyes were downcast at shiny black shoes.

It was going quickly, say a few prayers, sing a few hymns, but nearing the end, Karkat got up wordlessly, and proceeded to the pulpit, where the pastor had questionably left a few moments prior.

"My mother was by far the most spectacular human being I've ever come across."

Oh.

"She was a brilliantly talented woman, and smarter than anybody in comparison. My mother had a passion for music, but mostly she had a passion for people. She loved the way they communicated, how they acted, and how music influenced them. She wanted nothing more than to understand how all forms of language worked."

He paused and sucked in a breath.

"My mother was a brilliant woman, yes… But she was first and foremost my mom. She loved me, and took care of me, and gave me the best life she could, and I could ask nothing more of her. She gave me hopes, and dreams, and instilled passions and loves I could never have forged on my own. She was a brilliant woman. But she was also my mom. And I loved her. I loved her more than anybody could ever hope to be loved, and although it's so very painful to say goodbye today, I know she's in the best place possible." Karkat stepped down, and retook his seat.

The pastor then finished the procession, and Gamzee, John, Karkat, and Doctor Carman took their spots to carry the casket out to the hearse.

After loading the beautiful casket, they got into their car for the short ride to the cemetery, which was even more barren thanks to the freezing weather.

As they rolled up, John basked at the beautiful headstones, and grave plots in the cemetery, but the plot for Karkat's mother took his breath away.

It was atop a small incline, away from all the other plots. A large weeping willow tree hung over a gray marble headstone carved intricately with her name. A large hole disrupted the slightly dead grass, and potted flowers lined the perimeter.

The four males carried the casket wordlessly, but Karkat let silent tears drip when they began the final procession, and the burial.

 

John was thanking visitors for coming alongside Gamzee. They had, again, left Karkat for some alone time after the burial process was concluded.

John walked up the hill slowly, snow beginning to drift around them. He saw Karkat standing, a bouquet of red roses in his arms.

_"When did he get those?"_ John thought, but came up quietly. Karkat set them down on the barren earth, brushing his fingers on the gravestone.

John couldn't take the sorrowfulness that hung in the air, and lurched foreward, catching Karkat in the tightest hug he'd ever received.

"Come home with me. Spend Christmas with me. _I want you there._ " John said, and Karkat gazed up at him with wonder filled eyes.

"Okay." He whispered, leaning up and kissing John lightly. " _Okay."_


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for all the tears shed but here have an update that might make you cry more

The next few days were peaceful. Karkat returned to school Thursday, and was excused from the work he missed due to the circumstances. The transition back into classes went smoothly, but upon his return Roxy, who seemed shockingly sober, stared him down from the podium. 

“Now you all remember what tomorrow is, right? What’s due?”

“Yes, Roxy.” The class chimed in unison. 

“Good.” She muttered, before going on. Karkat glanced around, and a little note, neatly folded into a cube, landed on his desk. He opened it quietly.

_“:33 You’ve missed a lot, but our book reports on Shakespeare are due tomorrow.”_ Karkat glanced at Nepeta, and nodded, smiling with the corner of his mouth. She really was there for him a lot more than his other classmates.

It was a bit rough around Eridan and Vriska however, he got shoved into lockers, and called cruel names by the blonde, Irish accented boy, but Equius just remained stoically distant. Cool eyes watched from cracked glasses, but he didn’t speak, nor interfere. 

It was a pleasant change.

“Sup, Vantas, good having you back. How you feelin’?” Dave greeted in gym, placing a hand on his good shoulder. The other was still tight with healing scabs, he wasn’t sure if it would scar over or not. They had already chosen squads for volleyball last week, but Dirk just inclined his head towards Dave’s. 

“Fucking fantastic, actually. It’s… It’s good to be back, you know? Get my mind off the shit that’s been going down.” Dave nodded at the explanation, and put Karkat as server. 

One thing was for certain, Karkat had wicked upper body strength; it didn’t show blatantly, especially since his arms were covered in baggy clothes most of the time, but his biceps rippled and bulged when he tossed the ball into the air, and sent it shooting over the net. Dave glanced from Karkat, to John, to the opposite team, who had scattered in a futile attempt to hit the ball.

“Surprised?” Was all Karkat asked before catching the ball tossed back to them. It was still their serve. 

With the morning gone behind them, they all piled at their usual table. Kanaya gave Karkat a tight hug in welcome, and Rose did as well. Karkat involuntarily flushed a dark red, and settle down in the crook of John’s arm. 

“It’s good having you back in school. I’m presuming you’ve been excused of your work for the time you’ve been gone?” Kanaya asked lightly, red hair and green eyes a comforting, familiar sight.

“Yeah, Headmaster Hussie excused me from it all. I still have to write that report for Roxy though. Should be easy enough, I’ve had that book memorized since I was practically born.” Karkat shrugged, taking a drink out of the water bottle he carried, in the meantime pulling out a bag of some cheesy snack food. It was almost as if nothing had changed. 

After school, John and Karkat wandered back to the latter’s dorm room, where Karkat proceeded to lock the door, and fire up his laptop, which sat on his desk next to Kida’s cage. 

Karkat took the small mammal and placed her on his shoulder, where she enjoyed sitting when he worked. John sat by and watched as Karkat opened up his writing file, and fingers began tapping out letters faster than he’d seen anybody type before. From what John could see, Karkat was typing up his Shakespeare essay, something John had done a few nights ago.

Karkat was a speedy and eloquent writer, and by 6 o’clock he had an 8 page thesis on the backgrounds of Romeo and Juliet, and the way Shakespeare had written it in such a way as to edge people from making hasty decisions.   
When the sloucher pressed print, sighed, and straightened his back, John was there, removing Kida, and rubbing tense shoulder muscles with skilled fingers. The little contented purr-like sound that Karkat made was delightful to John’s ears, and he continued pressing the circles into the knotted cords of muscle in the narrow shoulders. 

“Where did you learn this?” Karkat all but moaned out, head lolling in enjoyment. 

“A pianist’s secret.” John pushed a kiss into Karkat’s hair, fighting the last knot of muscle. 

“Gamzee won’t be home for a while…” Karkat said quietly, and John’s hands paused. Karkat loosened his tie a bit, and got up from his chair, turning and pressing his lips to John’s roughly, tugging the grasses-clad boys tie off in the process.

John was stunned at the sudden drive of Karkat, but he didn’t resist. He clashed tongues hungrily with his boyfriend, one arm wrapping around his thin wait, the other squeezing at his ass. Karkat let out a shaky whine, and nudged even closer to John, if that were even possible. 

Karkat removed his mouth from John’s to gently bite and suck at his neck, finding the soft hollow under his jaw that made John shudder and weakly groan out. Their hips roughly pushed against each other, and Karkat worked on unbuttoning the shirt that barricaded their bodies from getting even closer. 

John had done the same and they both shed their blazers and shirts, John carefully running his fingers over the knotted scar on Karkat’s chest, which made the attention on his neck be replaced by soft hair and panted breaths. They worked their way back, John falling onto the bed, and Karkat straddled his hips, leaning down to make contact between their lips again. 

John and Karkat could both feel each other’s growing erections as soon as Karkat got on top. John’s face turned bright red when he saw the light flush and open-mouthed pout Karkat was sported while he stared him down with lust-filled orange eyes. The kiss was sweeter than expected, and the rolling of Karkat’s hips was something John never knew his boyfriend could do. 

Karkat’s fingers glided over John’s torso, it was a body that was lean, but had the softness of someone who had been force fed sweets his entire life, on the other hand, his was hard and defined, and both bodies fit together perfectly. 

Karkat backed away from John’s body, staring him down again, hand unbuttoning his pants, unzipping them and quirking an eyebrow at the gray and black boxers that seemed to match his own colour scheme perfectly. John flushed even more when he noticed the look, and nudged his feet out of his socks, and tried to start removing his pants. Karkat obliged by lifting himself off the bottom’s hips, and took his time undoing the fly on his own pants, green and blue boxers that matched John’s favorite colours met the buck toothed boys gaze and he reached up, one hand bringing Karkat into a soft kiss, the other lowering their hips together again. 

“John…” Karkat began, it wasn’t the shallow moans they were sharing, but something a bit more serious.

“Don’t say anything I understand.” John comforted, raising his hand to Karkat’s cheek and stroking it lightly. Karkat’s eyebrows raised a bit in surprise, but John’s hips bucking up made him lose train of thought.

Karkat pushed himself back up to the sitting position, hand rubbing slowly on John’s obvious boner, bringing his own hardened, clothed dick to John’s and rubbing them together slowly. 

“Oh, fuck, Karkat!” The friction was too much for John, and the strangled noises he managed to string together gave Karkat the satisfaction to roll his hips again. 

“J-John, o-oh fuck John.” Karkat whined, head rolling back, panting openly as he rolled their hips together. John’s glasses were fogging a bit, so he tossed them from his eyes, and pushed up to his elbows, hips jumping up a bit accidentally. Heat was rising in both of them, and Karkat put his hands on John’s shoulders for more leverage, and their combined thrusts, kisses, and moans brought them up to their peak quickly. 

John and Karkat slumped together, sweaty and sticky in their underwear after their short, yet passionate, time in bed. 

“Go shower.” Karkat mumbled, rolling off of John and taking a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds, then exhaling. John linked his hand with Karkat’s and they looked at each other, before scooting closer and snuggling up to each other.

“I will in a bit, can we just lay like this for a bit?” 

“Mhmm.” Karkat agreed, laying his head in the crook of John’s neck.

After both of them showered and changed, they sat on the couch watching old Pokémon movies until Gamzee came home.

Karkat cooked John, Gamzee, and himself dinner, packing up extras for Dave in a zip lock baggie. Lately he’d made a habit of slipping John’s roommate food whenever he cooked, and the Strider seemed less inclined to break his wrists every time they high fived. 

“John, after school tomorrow… I… I have to go to my house, and um…”

“Yeah I’ll come.” John finished, lightly pecking Karkat’s cheek as he got ready to leave. 

“Thanks.” Karkat said sincerely, squeezing his hand, they both had an obscure glow about them, and both felt hazy for the even after parting ways. 

 

Karkat walked to school in the light snow early that morning, book report tucked neatly in his bag. He met John at his locker as usual, and attempted to ignore the stares they still got. John walked Karkat to English, and left to go to his first class, Karkat sliding the book report into the turn in slot, and taking his seat. 

Since it was the last day before break, the school had a half day, taking the first 3 classes of the day only, so first and second period slipped by faster than usual. Everyone was on bit of an edge in Gym, and the volleyball matches were shorter, and more aggressive. 

Dave went out to see his brother at the end of the day, other males leaving the room to crowd around the doors, leaving John and Karkat alone to change. 

It was a matter of seconds that they were alone, front lights switching off, that John pinned a shirtless Karkat’s wrists up to the red lockers, faces clashing together. Their tongues battled for dominance and a small trail of saliva connected them when they pulled away for air. 

A few more minutes of that action, and then they were rushing to dress as to discern suspicion. Dave gave John a knowing look at smirk, Karkat’s face still flushed a bit on the ear tips and cheekbones. 

The bell clanged loudly, and Karkat pulled John toward his car hurriedly. They piled in, and John noticed the violin case in the back. Karkat drove them away from the school, and turned to the left, headed out of town. 

They drove in silence for a bit, before Karkat reached under his seat at a stoplight, and slid the CD john made him into the changer. The music was a band that Karkat had never heard before, but he liked it instantly. 

John hummed along quietly with the lyrics, letting Karkat absorb them.

_“Dear fellow traveler,_  
Under the moon  
I saw you standing in the shadows  
And your eyes were blue. 

_You put your hand out,_  
Opened the door  
You said ‘Come with me boy,  
I want to show you something more!’” 

Karkat’s head bobbled absently with the beat, castanets accompanying the drums and guitar. 

_“You spoke my language_  
And touched my limbs  
It wasn’t difficult  
To pull me from myself again. 

_And in our travels,_  
We found a rose  
You held it like a mirror  
Showing me the life I chose. 

_And I’ll return to my beautiful city!_  
Black skies changed into blue  
And my love is so wise and so pretty  
But tonight, I still dream of you. 

_You.”_

Karkat listening in stunned silence at the majesty of the song, and tilted his head toward John, eyes begging the obvious question.

“They’re called Sea Wolf.” John giggled, and they both shushed to listen to the rest of the song.

After an hour, and almost through John’s mixed CD of Sea Wolf, The Babies, and Steam Powered Giraffe, they pulled into a bluish-gray two story house. Karkat gulped loudly, and John watched him speechlessly. Karkat shut of the Equinox, and got out, going inside, leaving John scrambling to get inside after Karkat, who was twisting his way in the dusty place.

He disappeared into a closet and returned with a few boxes, setting them up, and taking knick-knacks wordlessly and wrapping them in old newspapers that had piled on the doorstep. 

Karkat worked in a methodical trance, packing up photos of his family, little awards his mother had won, and the extensive collection of books. He inclined his head toward another bookshelf, then to John, then to the boxes, lifting his full one up, and heading to pack it into the car.

They cleaned out the majority of the first floor when Karkat paused, his hand on the only silver handle in the house. He opened it slowly, and stepped inside, eyes closed. 

It smelled like Karkat. 

It had one window; open to the sun, which flittered onto a desk made of cherry wood. Two bookshelves stood on either side, jam packed with novels, movies, and… trophies? 

A pair of sickles were crossed above his bed, and Karkat didn’t even glance at the oddly coloured shoe boxes. He just packed them up slowly, and then opened his dressers, tossing pale pink, gray, and black wads into a box. 

John went up to inspect one of the trophies, wiping months of grit from its surface.

_“Karkat Vantas  
1st place freeform dance” _

Dancing? 

“I used to dance, ballet, ballroom, and modern.” Karkat muttered, and John realized the wads were tights; the boxes were ballet and other shoes.

“The sickles used to be part of my competition routine. For modern.” Karkat took the two blades from atop his bed, and put them in the box. 

Without another word, he left John to clear his bookshelves while he opened the sliding closet. Row upon row of sweaters hung, and Karkat silently folded them, sniffing a bit. The room was dusty after all.

John was nearly finished with his job when he heard and thunk, and saw Karkat on his knees, shoulders shaking, and a bright red sweater pressed to his face. A pained, groaning sob rattled from him, and John rushed over, sitting down and puling Karkat into his lap, holding him tightly. 

“I don’t want it to be real. I don’t want to go.” Karkat wailed. John could only blink back the pricks behind his own eyes, and kiss Karkat’s hair, hoping it would help him calm down while he rocked them back and forth. 

It was a heartbreaking sight. One sobbing into sweater and boy, the other trying fitfully to hold back his own tears, because he knew. He knew the pain of losing a mother, of cleaning out a house, of looking at the things, the memories made and shared, and knowing every shred of agonizing pain Karkat must have been feeling.

But he couldn’t dare fathom how alone Karkat felt now, John had had his father, but Karkat only had Gamzee and himself. He never had a father.

They both were alone, utterly alone, in their own senses, as they both cried into each other on the floor of the old, gray house.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 28
> 
> A/N: Guys, I am so sorry for my absence. I was recently in a mental institution for 5 days, so I had no access to electronics or anything. Also, my rabbit that I had for over 14 years died on the 8th, so I’m still a bit sad about that. I hope you enjoy chapter 28!!! Also!!! KIARA BABY IS BACK! The Heartbreak 20’s are coming to an end! It’s been so long, and I’m so excited to start a new chapter arc! This one won’t be sad. I’m going to start focusing less on John/Karkat only and expand back into school life. This is it, though. Let’s say hello to Papa Egbert!!!

They left together, piling boxes up in the back of Karkat’s car, and they drove to the coffee shop, indulging themselves, both red faced, and puffy eyed, in hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. 

“Gamzee’s already left. He spends the holidays with his adoptive parents… A-and I’m spending my fucking holidays with you, aren’t I?” Karkat asked a small, cocky smirk passing over his lips as he took a long sip of cocoa. John waggled his brows and nodded.

“Oh yeah, Karkat; you, me, and my dad: we’re gonna party until we’re purple.” Karkat went red in the face, cheeks puffing, before erupting with laughter that contagiously spread to John. 

The two stayed until late, and then drove back to the school, where they met Dave, Rose, Jade, and Kanaya in John’s dorm. They had planned a small gift exchange a few days prior, and Karkat had stored his boxes at John’s dorm in advance. 

Karkat and Dave had gotten quite close recently, it seemed Gamzee had begun to drift away a bit from their close bond, but Dave, surprisingly, was there to share the odd moments in Karkat’s life that made them new and distinguished friends.

Friendship was a confusing emotion to Karkat, which he was often chided, because friendship, in fact, isn’t an emotion.

Jade had also grown closer into the group of friends, she loved to garden, and told wonderful stories of her adventures around islands with her dog Bec. She was, somehow, distantly related to both Jake English and Jane Crocker, their teachers. Jade said it had something to do with the fact her grandfather married an empress or something along those lines. To be honest it just confused Karkat more than he cared for.

Karkat sat with his and John’s hands entwined on the couch, Kanaya and Rose next to them in nearly the same position. Dave and Jade both sat on the floor by the tiny, fake Christmas tree that had small piles of presents underneath, sorting the mounds into smaller mounds by name. 

Everyone got a present from everyone else, except John and Karkat, who had gotten one package from both Rose and Kanaya addressed to the both of them, and the two boyfriends had solemnly agreed to wait for each other’s presents.. 

“C’mon Dave, you go first!” Jade said cheerfully, pushing the albino a bit. Dave let loose a rare smile and shrugged.

“Alright, Harley if you insist.” He teased, tearing open the package from John. A new pair of aviator sunglasses were plucked from the blue tissue paper, identical to the ones of his face, but glossier and less dented.

“Egbert. Egbert you beautiful, beautiful human.” Dave said poker-faced, examining the new shades closely. 

Jade got him new rolls of film for cameras; Rose knitted him a sweater with a crow on it, and Kanaya had made him a very ironic tee shirt involving Polaroid’s, whales, and the name dick.

He got to Karkat’s present last, which was just an envelope. A salt-and-pepper eyebrow quirked and he opened it carefully. A single, ticket-like slip fell out, and Dave’s eyes scoured the writing before darting up, staring at Karkat, then back to the slip, and then back to Karkat.

“No fucking way dude. You did not just give me a pick up slip for new turntables. _Custom fucking turntables_?!” Karkat shrugged but Dave was already hugging the skinny boy.

“Strider, get off me.” Karkat growled, but Dave simply shooshed him and continued the awkward, one-sided embrace. It went on for a few minutes. 

The rest of the presents went off without a hitch, going in a large circle until they got to Karkat and John, who both pushed each other to open first. When they couldn’t come to a conclusion, they decided to open both at the same time. 

Dave had gotten Karkat a crab costume for Kida.

“How the every loving fuck did you find a costume for a hamster. It’s a fucking hamster, Dave.” He laughed, the little, red, Google-eyed costume pinched between two fingers. 

Jade had gotten him a collection of rare books on famous literary geniuses that he loved, from Poe to Austin, the autobiographies and biographies were a back breaking load. 

John had gotten a multitude of geeky gifts, and Dave managed to find a costume for Casey just as tiny as Karkat’s. 

When it came down to the final, small box between the both of them, they each took an end and ripped away the paper. A little white box was folded neatly, and then they opened that, two wrapped parcels found eager hands, tissue paper ripping, and finally the presents sat.

Mittens. Matching mittens. Hand knitted, and lined with soft fleece. Karkat’s were the blue of John’s eyes with silver music notes, and John’s a green with red notes. Blushes coated their faces as they looked from each other, to the mittens held tightly in their hands. Dave snickered, and Rose nudged them with her elbow. 

“Mittens for the smitten!” The blonde teased with a little chuckle. 

The rest of the small party was spent with a few rowdy games of Apples to Apples, and Karkat, John, Rose, and Karkat playing Christmas carols on their violins and piano. 

As the party wrapped up, hugs were distributed; cheeks kissed, and well wishes for the holidays accompanied the closing of the door. It was well past midnight when Karkat fell into John’s bed, and burrowed himself deep under the blankets. 

John climbed in his side, and pulled Karkat close to him. They didn’t spoon, they hardly ever spooned. Instead they chose to have one lay their head on the other’s chest, arms and legs a tangled mess, and John would quietly stroke the silky black locks on Karkat’s head while the other hummed to him quietly. 

John brushed the fringe from Karkat’s forehead and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.

“I love you, John.” Karkat whispered, snuggling closer, nuzzling the buck toothed boy’s collarbone lightly.

“I love you too, Karkat.” John replied, both sleepy and ready for a long nights sleep that they wouldn’t have the opportunity to get. 

Alarms blared early, sun barely over the horizon, and Karkat groaned loudly into John’s chest. The bed was warm, safe, and perfectly cuddly, but they had to get up and start driving if they were going to make it to John’s father’s by dinnertime. 

After the tedious process of getting up, packing away the little yellow salamander, and tidying up so the dirty clothes wouldn’t stink up the room, they packed everything into John’s car, and placed Kida and Casey next to each other in the back seats, travel carriers strapped down to prevent a loose animal accident on the road.

“John, your dad lives too fucking far away. It’s like 10 hours, why couldn’t you have lived like in the next town over?” Karkat grumbled sleepily, clicking his seatbelt into place, John laughed and shrugged.

“My dad wanted to send me here because of the music program. You and I get it after break, its gym or art first semester, then those who applied for the music program get it the second semester, and then put on a concert at the end of the school year!” John was enthusiastic about the entire thing as they backed out of the barren parking lot, and sped out of the Academy.

 

A few hours, and a pit stop for fast food breakfast later, Karkat finally brought up a bearing question.

“John, I know your dad knows about me being your friend… but... I mean, does he know that… well… you know. We’re a thing? Is he okay with it? He won’t kill me if he catches us kissing will he?” John erupted into laughter, laughter so rough he had to pull over on the side of the highway. 

“K-Karkat my father will not kill you.” He fished in his jeans pocket for a second, and brought out a note. “My dad wrote this after I told him we were dating, okay?” He handed over the crumpled paper, and Karkat unfolded it slowly.

_“Son,_

_If you’re reading this it means I’ve found out you’ve found someone you love, and I cannot be happier. You’ve grown so much from your old self since you left home last fall. You’ve found love, regardless of gender, and aren’t keeping it secretive. Karkat seems like a very good match for you, I’m excited to meet him! I’m so, so proud of you._

_Love, Dad.”_

Karkat smiled slowly as he read the letter, he handed it back to John slowly, and nodded. 

In that letter, a simple paragraph addressed to his son, John’s father proved to Karkat that he was nothing like Karl, he wasn’t abusive, or forgetful, or any of the things Karkat’s had been. 

Karkat felt like he wanted to cry over the simple fact that he was headed to meet the sire of his boyfriend.

They took off again, urban setting slowly being replaced by evergreen trees, rivers, and smaller mountains. The sky was bright blue, peppered with white puffs, and the snow on the ground glistened. 

“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kanas anymore.” Karkat joked; John pushed Karkat gently at the reference.

“I know, right? You should see it in the summer! There’s tulip trees all over, and when they bloom its beautiful!” John sighed a bit, nostalgia washing over him.

“We used to live in the suburbs before… well you know, but I never actually… ever saw anyone else living there. I mean, the only time I ever saw my neighbors was the night my mom died. My father knew Rose’s mom for a really long time, she lives out around here, so when the accident happened, she told Dad about a house up here… You might like it, Karkat, it’s beautiful.” 

They were ahead of schedule when they turned down the long, long winding path that would lead to John’s home. Karkat was stunned silent; the house was 3 stories, old plantation style. The roof had an open flat with a telescope set up, there was a small lake in the distance, and thick woods sprouted around it with a path from the house to its insides.

“J-J-Joh?” Karkat stuttered, unable to form tangible sentences. He’d never expected something like this. 

A man stood on the porch, white shirt, black tie and pants, a pipe and fedora adorning him. He had a wide smile on his face, and as soon as John parked, he sprinted from the car and hugged his father tightly. 

Karkat stayed in the car, nervous of getting out. The man seemed friendly; he hugged his son, and ruffled his messy hair and smiled happily. 

This was too foreign for Karkat. John split off, looking to the car, to his father, and said something before running back, and flinging open the car door.

Before Karkat could protest, John had unbuckled his seat belt, and scooped him up like a princess, turning to rush back to his father while the skinnier boy squirmed. Halfway between John’s dad, who was laughing hysterically, and the car, Karkat squirmed free.

“No fucking way am I meeting your father with you carrying me!” He hissed, but his knees still shook a bit. John bumped their foreheads, and laced their hands together, mouth and eyes smiling at him.

“Karkat, it’s okay, Dad’s really excited to meet you! I’ll be there every step of the way, okay?” Karkat nodded, and they set off slowly, approaching the black haired, blue eyed man at an even pace.

“So you’re Karkat?” John’s dad’s eyebrows quirked as he studied him. “Welcome home, son.” He greeted, pulling Karkat into a hug. He smelled like shaving cream and fresh baking and Karkat stood frozen before hugging back, almost desperately, absorbing the love radiating off of the older man.

When they parted, they all went to the car and got their things, heading in to get comfortable. 

John showed Karkat his bedroom while Dad started making dinner, and they sat on the bed and John listened as Karkat told him more about his past.

“Karl used to smack me if I did something wrong, eventually mom made him stop, but I started noticing the bruises on her instead, so I tried to beat him up. I ended up in the hospital. Karl said I was beat up by a neighborhood punk. After a while he started to ignore me, he went on longer trips, and my mom enrolled me in a dance class with her. It was ballroom, it was fun. See, I love dancing, but not what normal people are used to. Fox trot, tango, waltz, cha-cha, Viennese waltz, tap, ballet, routine dancing, I love that. Karl didn’t. He called me faggot instead of my name after that.” Karkat quietly poured out his fatherly issues, and how radically different John’s dad was, and it seemed like a dream. John leaned in a kissed Karkat slowly, both falling into a rhythm.

Then John pinched Karkat and orange eyes flared into pained anger. “What the fuck was that for?!” 

“You’re not dreaming after all.” John kissed him again.

 

The two of them changed into fresher clothes, and went down the stairs to the kitchen, where Dad Egbert stood over a cutting board.

“John, can you hel—“

“Sorry, dad, you know I can’t cook!” John protested, knowing what his dad was about to ask.

“I can.” Karkat offered, and Dad raised an eyebrow.

“You can cook?”

“I love to cook, Mr. Egbert!” Karkat nodded eagerly, and an apron was thrown at him. Karkat tugged it on and rolled up his sleeves, cleaning his hands before quietly listening to directions. 

Karkat chopped, peeled, and basted, Dad eventually leaning back and watching the young teenager dart about his kitchen like he owned the place, taste testing and adding things he never would have thought to add to his own dishes. 

He was impressed. Dad pulled John off to the side with a bit of a smirk. 

“Cute, smart, and he can cook? Better save for the engagement ring now or you’re going to be living off ramen noodles again.” He teased, John’s blue eyes widening and face turning beet red. Dad laughed and ruffled his hair again, and Karkat looked back quizzically.

“What’s so funny?” He asked.

“Nothing, nothing, just reminding John of something.” Dad passed off. 

“Oh, well dinner’s ready!” Karkat said pulling the ham and potatoes from the oven, and plating them elegantly. Dad was very impressed now.

They ate dinner, Karkat revealing little about himself, but learning a lot about childhood John, much to his absolute embarrassment.

“And he used to come home from school, and wrap himself up in a sheet and hide until I got home, then he’d pop out and follow me around making ghost noises. I swear I threatened to call Ghostbusters so many times, I can’t tell if it condoned the behavior or scared him out of his pants.” 

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!” John whined, sinking down in his chair.

“Speaking of no pants, for about a year he’d refused to wear anything but green leggings-“

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!” John wailed, thunking to the ground under the table. Karkat was delighted to hear all the old childhood stories.

“Did you do anything interesting as a child, Karkat?” 

Karkat gulped a bit.

“I… Well… No, not really. I… actually don’t remember a lot of it,” he lied smoothly, rubbing the back of his neck. Dad could see through the lie clearly, but didn’t push him any farther.

They finished dinner, John and Karkat washing the dishes and singing a quiet duet together, Dad listened as he chewed the end of his pipe.

It was comforting, to hear not just John’s voice. It brought back memories of the woman he loved, and still did. Pearls, and blue dress, long lashes and small, skinny fingers that would bake and play piano. A voice that would croon lullabies to a colicky baby who fussed in the fuzzy bathrobe she would wear. Soft pink cheeks that made her eyes squint when she smiled, and smile she often did. The woman he’d been too shy to talk to for the first two of his high school years. The one that he opened his car door for when he took her to the movies on their first date, and he tried to pull the old yawn-reach-around move. The woman that kissed him first. The woman that had fire in her heart, and made him feel alive. The woman that would sing, and play, and love like no other.

_The woman he loved_. His dark blue eyes blinked back the sudden onslaught of tears that threatened to escape.

_Yes,_ it was good to have two voices again.


	29. Chapter 29

A few days passed, Karkat becoming more comfortable in Dad's presence. He had started helping more and more in the kitchen and around the house. It was pleasant to have a sort of family.

"Now boys, I have to go to a party tonight. I trust you both to behave." Dad Egbert sat with his newspaper folded neatly, Karkat frying bacon and flipping pancakes on the stove. John was still half asleep, hair even messier than usual. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses, and watched as Karkat served up heaping plates of sweet breakfast foods.

"Wow, Karkat! You sure know your way around the stove!" Dad chirped cheerfully. "Baking was always more my forte!" Karkat quirked an eyebrow and switched off the stove.

"I like baking," he mumbled, removing his apron and washing his hands before settling down at the table. Dad set down his knife and fork, smiling brighter than before.

"Then maybe you'd like to help me later? I always make cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, and I'd love an extra hand." Karkat mulled it over, corners of his mouth switching up.

"I'd like that, Mr. Egbert." He nodded happily. The older man was doing nothing to make him feel unwelcome. In fact, it was practically like he was welcoming Karkat into the family.

"I'd prefer you call me dad, if you feel comfortable with it. You're part of our family now!" The older man smiled and Karkat nodded. Of course, it would take some getting used to.

He had slept well, snuggled up to John in the giant bed they shared. Dad saw no reason why the two couldn't share a room, and just asked the two not stay up to late. 

"What do you wanna do today, Karkat?" John asked between heaping mouthfuls of food.

"I-uh actually was going to asking we could walk around your property. I mean, you have all this... Well THIS and is love to see it up close," Karkat stuttered, a little shocked at the sudden question from the sleepy Egbert. 

The few inches of snow on the ground crunched under their boots as Karkat and John took an early morning walk. They wore the matching mittens Rose had knitted, Karkat's scarf wrapped around his pale face and neck snugly. They breathed in the cold air, not saying much at all, instead listening to the birds twittering, and headed toward the wood that had zigzagging paths through it.

The temperature was quite a few degrees warmer in the canopy of trees, and Karkat was instantly swept into a classical winter wonderland. Evergreens perfumed the air with cool freshness, and the brown, red, and blue birds that darted to and fro, tweeting at the two boys.

They walked with little talk, Karkat's eyes wide with wonder. Breaking into a clearing that bordered the half frozen lake, a stone bench sat stoically, alone under a covering of a tall evergreen. 

"It's like a fairy tail..." Karkat whispered, dusting the snow off of the bench and gazing over the shimmery lake. His head turned to John suddenly.

"Hey, Egbert, come here," he beckoned, John coming closer. Karkat took his hands, and placed them accordingly on his shoulder and in his other hand. 

"Karkat?" John asked a big confused. Karkat just smirked a bit and shook his head, placing his own hands. 

"Shut up and follow my lead." With a small pressure to John's palms, Karkat lead him backwards. Their footsteps here slow, Karkat's confident, John's more unsure.

"One two three," Karkat chimed off, leading John in a slow waltz. Gradually John became more confident in Karkat's lead, and they sped up the tempo a bit. 

In a few minutes Karkat was twirling around with John, spinning and dipping him. John didn't have the stamina of Karkat, though, and had to stop him, winded. Jet streamed clouds of white puffed from their mouths. Karkat took John's chin and brought him into a soft kiss.

They sat on the bench, hands clasping each other in mittens. They talked about nothing in particular, just random things that came to mind. Karkat made a contented purr in the back of his throat, and this was the first in a long time he felt any sort of resemblance of normal.

 

After about an hour of lounging in the cold by the lake, John lead Karkat back into the house, where Karkat finally noticed the giant Christmas tree in the living room. A polished grand piano stood like a silent, sentient being near the evergreen's fragrant needles.

"Oh, welcome back, boys! How was your walk?" Dad asked as he appeared from the kitchen, the two teens shrugging off coats and mittens, but still standing extremely close. 

"It went great, dad. The lake patio is really pretty right now," John explained while Karkat stood quietly beside him. John had noticed something about his boyfriend.

Karkat no longer was loud and quick to shout, he'd become more reserved than ever. John finally understood what Karkat meant when they had spoken on the swings, about becoming distant. It wasn't an extreme emotional distance, but a change in behavior. Karkat was tired eyed, and less than talkative. He was broken. And it broke John to see him like that. 

Dad seemed to notice the tension Karkat held, and spoke up. "Karkat, how would you like to help me in the kitchen? I'm making the dough for cinnamon rolls, and I'd love an extra hand." Karkat blinked a few times, and nodded shortly. 

"Egbert," Karkat started, and both raven haired males looked at him, "John," he corrected, "Will you check on Kida and make sure she had water? She drinks a lot, and I know you're going to go play with Casey." Karkat smiled faintly, and John returned the grin. 

"Of course I will, Karkat. I can't cook at all, so I'll leave that to you and dad!" The younger Egbert scampered off toward the stairs. Karkat turned to Dad, following him into the kitchen. 

"You know, I never thought my son would end up with another boy," Dad started as they kneaded the thick dough. "He never expressed interest in anything, really. He was a fanatic about movies, or magic, or his little Casey. Maybe it's because he didn't have a mother, and I never gave him any sort of talk. I just tried to be supportive." 

"Mr. Eg- I mean- D-Dad, see, that's the best thing you could have done. My.. My dad didn't really ever stick around, or... He... He was a bad man - is a bad man, I mean," Karkat said pausing his floured hands. 

"If you support your child in what he does, he won't turn out like me. He'll turn out like John, and that's good." 

"Karkat? What do you mean?" Dad pulled away from the dough and made Karkat face him. 

"I'm not a good kid. I get in fights, I cuss, I get bad grades and I'm a pathetic excuse for a friend and a boyfriend. I can't even be close to John without being scared I'll end up breaking his heart."

"Karkat Vantas." Dad's tone was stern, and orange eyes found compassionate blue ones. 

"Grades, or language, or who you love doesn't make up who you are. You're a lot more than that. You're your favorite books, your hobbies, the way you express your emotions. You're not a grade, or a bruise, or any sort of misfit, because you're human. Karkat Vantas you're a great person, a great boyfriend, and I can think of no one I'd rather my son have brought home, regardless of gender or past. You're made up of what you believe in, and nothing physical can change who you are. You are a good person, and you deserve to be happy." 

Karkat trembled a bit under the hand on his shoulder, gulping at the thick knot in his throat. Dad pulled him in a tight hug; this was more than he'd expected from the cinnamon roll session, but he was still happy he could reach out and communicate with the distant, ghostly person John loved so dearly. 

After a few short minutes they were already covering dough in plastic wrap and shoving it the double doored refrigerator. John came bumbling down the stairs the second Karkat finished brewing a pot of coffee. 

Dad took his black with one sugar, John took his black with 8 sugars, while Karkat blended cream and sugar into his. They sipped in near silence, idle conversation in the air. Karkat was busy examining the small wall behind the kitchen table. Prizes from contests of piano and vocals lined the wall, all addressed to John, or two names he could only presume were his mom and dad. 

John helped mix the cinnamon sugar in preparation for baking the next morning, and Karkat worked the dough for second rising. Dad hung back and watched the two work in a silent communication. An unseen link ran between them, and their small hums synchronized into a different melody. 

Dad saw a spark that he hadn't seen in his life since John was a toddler. He was massive potential, and he knew that they didn't realize it. 

"Karkat will you play violin for us when you're done?" Dad asked, the humming broke as did their sync. 

"I'd be happy to, Dad." Karkat smiled, and they went back to work. 

A while later Karkat stood by John at the piano, violin in the crook of his neck. Dad sat on the sofa, pipe protruding from his mouth. Karkat nodded at John and they began. Karkat pulled the now across the strings in a sweeping motion, something different than what they'd always played toned out. 

Dad's mouth fell open at them, pipe falling into his lap. This was something he'd never expected from his son. And before he knew it they were done.

"And we can sing it too." Karkat shrugged.

"I-I have to get ready for the party." Dad stuttered, awestruck as he went into his room to get ready for the Party at the Lalonde's. 

His mind was still in the two when he started his car and drove off.  
  
 **BR/N: Party at the Lalonde's is the name of the party. I have decided this just now. A/N: I agree with this above statement. Also, Chapter 30 should hopefully be out by spring break! Shutocon in Lansing is coming up soon, and I’ll be there with a bunch of friends! Please come up and find me, I’ll be pretty recognizable as Fem!Equius, and Karkat!! Love, Katy.**


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shhhh only smut now

Comics » Homestuck » Private Schoolstuck  
Author: Izzileia  
Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Reviews: 324 - Published: 06-27-12 - Updated: 03-28-13 id:8262970  
 **A/n: I REALLY HOPE I SEE SOME OF YOU AT SHUTOCON I'LL BE KARKAT WITH FRECKLES ON SATURDAY. Now shhhh, only smut now.**

BR/N: SMUT!

They sat on the cleared roof, Karkat bundled in a sweater and red scarf. John curled up to him as Karkat vaguely pointed out where constellations bloomed in the countryside sky.

"Sagittarius, and you can still kinda see Scorpio," Karkat whispered.

"Can you see cancer?" John asked. Karkat took a breath, and shook his head.

"Not this time of year. I mean, if I had a telescope I could, but it would have to be pretty fucking powerful. More powerful than the one you have." They looked at each other with soft smiles. The house below them sat still and warm, but their bodies swatted away the frigid air.

They didn't even know what had happened but their mouths were clashing, tongues battling and pants rushing in white clouds around them. The noises Karkat was making, a medley of squeaks and half moans, were music to John's ears, and he wanted more.

John wanted to make Karkat let loose those noises, give him the loving touches he grew up without. He wanted to make Karkat feel good, and wanted to feel good doing it.

Somehow John managed to scoop up the wriggling bundle underneath him, lips parting for a second and they panted. He reconnected the kiss, this time it was more intimate, deep, and caressing. No tongue was administered, but the way their lips moved together was strictly erotic beyond any other touch.

John charged back into the house, carefully carrying Karkat down the flight of stairs to the bedroom floor. He set Karkat on the bed, and looked down at the flushed milky skin, ruffled hair, and kiss-stained mouth that framed vibrant orange eyes, mused clothes exposed bits of toned stomach, and jutted collarbone. John suddenly felt his self restraint leaving, what little was left had flown away.

Instead of charging in, John excused himself, rushing to the bathroom adjoining saying he wanted to get something. He closed the door, and whipped out his phone, clicking the mobile Internet speedily.

Google popped up, and for lack of a better terminology, John typed the first sentence that sprang to his head.

"how to have homo sex"

The majority of answers gave joke responses, but one left John biting his thumb, a detailed written tutorial explained the basic concepts. He shut his phone off after a few minutes, grabbing the bottle of lube in his cabinet he kept from his dad, and returned to the bedroom, where Karkat hadn't moved an inch. He dipped the bed, straddling Karkat and bringing soft kisses down his jaw as he untied the scarf, discarding the bottle somewhere along the blankets.

They touched and brushed, losing clothes until boxers only covered the hardened bulges brushing against each other as hips were grinding together, moans coming between pants and whispered words. A hand trailed down to Karkat's boxers and paused as Karkat's hand gently curled around John's wrist in a nervous manner.

John backed off, and hooked his thumbs into his own underwear, sliding them down to reveal the erection he had developed. John blushed as Karkat took him in, gnawing his lip before sliding up, hand wrapping around the thick shaft John sported.

"What are you doing, Kark- _ohhhhhhhh."_ John had his question cut off as Karkat's tongue dragged along his length. Mouth encircling the head, Karkat slowly bobbed his head, hollowing his cheeks, and pulling off with a loud _POP!_ John was reduced to nothing, and hands made their way into thick black locks. Karkat moaned on his cock, vibrations penetrating John deeply.

"Oh fuck, Karkat," John whined, giving a shallow thrust into his boyfriend's mouth, causing another moan from both. Karkat pulled off and began rubbing his hand up and down, smoothing the drops of precum beading at his tip. Karkat's other hand reached down and palmed himself through his boxers.

"Please, Karkat... Please, can we do more?" John was moaning, thrusting lightly, which encouraged Karkat to pant out his agreement. He slipped away, getting off the bed, and fidgeting lightly before whisking off his boxers. He gulped loudly, and John kept his eyes on Karkat's for a long moment, before slowly slipping down.

His body scar ended at the hip, and the coil around his leg bulged up along his thigh. A faint happy trail was some of the only body hair, and it led down his belly. Around his groin was cut and lacerated, small scars littering around his near-hairless member. It wasn't the injuries that made John's eyes widen, but the huge cock Karkat had managed to hide all this time.

John got up without a word and laced his fingers in Karkat's, his other hand wrapping around his waist and drawing him in, squeezing a butt cheek in the process. Karkat looked up and attacked John's mouth with his own, hungrily taking control and leading them both back to the bed.

This time the smaller boy got on top, kissing down John's soft skin. He rubbed their throbbing members together, one big hand encircling both as they pushed against each other. John placed his hands on Karkat's hips, rolling over so he was underneath him, and grabbing the lubricant he had tossed away earlier.

"You know what you're doing, John?" Karkat asked curiously. John nodded.

"Pretty sure. I mean, it can't be that hard." He smiled reassuringly. Karkat relaxed and spread his legs out a little bit. John popped open the cap of the lube, and the sound echoed through pants and shifts of the covers.

The gel was excruciatingly cold when it touched Karkat's entrance, and a sharp intake of breath braced him as John's finger slowly pushed inside.

"OHHHH! Fuck, John," Karkat moaned loudly, shifting on the blankets. The cold of the lube but the heat now coursing through his body made a contrast of pleasure Karkat had never felt before. It was pain, it was joy, it had him seeing white.

John slowly pumped his finger, Karkat's heavy breathing and small noises all the encouragement he needed. John then removing his single digit, and prodding gently with two, sliding inside.

Karkat's hips arched up a bit, hot breath panting from his lips, the sensation filling him entirely. More... more... He wanted more. His hips plunged downward, getting John deeper inside of him.

John was shocked at first, but realized this was a cue to advance. One more finger was inserted, John paused to let him adjust, then moved his fingers, lightly curving to reach that hardened lump he had felt earlier that made Karkat moan and writhe more than he'd ever seen.

Karkat was going insane, shots of pure joy shot through him with every finger thrust. "P-please John... oh f-fuck me, please...!" That was all John needed, his erection twitched as he slicked it with lube, and got on top of Karkat. John wrapped their fingers together, and leaned down, kissing Karkat as he slowly pushed his cock inside of him.

John let Karkat adjust, and with dual cries of pleasure, slowly thrusted in and out. It was slow, and when Karkat clenched up John stopped instantly.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" John asked worriedly. Karkat shook his head.

"I-I... No, I'm just not used to it," Karkat breathed, voice high pitched and whiny.

"Okay, tell me when to go, okay?" John whispered, kissing Karkat again.

After a few moments Karkat nodded. "Okay, just... Go slowly," Karkat panted. John gently pushed into the better adjusted warmth. It took a few shallow thrusts before Karkat lifted his hips up, moaning out for John to go faster.

John gladly obliged, hips rolling, cock sliding easily in the over-lubed area. He wasn't the biggest, he was average with a substantial girth, but he was just big enough to brush against Karkat's prostate.

Karkat had rolling pleasure slap over him over and over as John buried himself deeply, grazing the spot that made him feel close to coming again and again.

Karkat cried out John's name, clawing carefully at his lovers back.

"K-Karkat...! Oh fuck... Karkat I'm so close!" John moaned, squeezing their hands together tightly. Karkat pulled their lips together, heat washing over both of them.

With one final thrust, John came hard, shaking, and so did Karkat, John's hand rubbing Karkat's cock with feathery strokes.

John rolled off Karkat and pulled him close to his chest, kissing him deeply.

"I love you so much, Karkat," John panted. Karkat nodded, kissing him again and again.

"I love you too," he whispered before they both fell into a deep sleep.

John awoke first, naked and entwined with Karkat, and realized he was still naked too. He bit his lip, smiling and blushing hard in remembrance of the night before. John slumped back over hiding his face in his pillow, he'd just lost his virginity. On Christmas Eve. To the boy of his dreams.

Karkat mumbled something and cuddled up closer to John, leg wrapping tightly around John's thigh as he awoke slowly.

Karkat looked up at John with dewy eyes, and they smiled at each other slowly.

"Good morning, John," Karkat whispered, hand brushing the bed head from his boyfriend's forehead and kissing between black eyebrows.

"Merry Christmas, Karkat." John took Karkat's hand and pressed a kiss into his palm.

They rock paper scissored to see who would get to shower first; John won and Karkat jokingly whistled at his boyfriend's naked ass while he scurried to the bathroom.

Karkat was sore, there was no question there. Sore, and sticky, but he felt happier. Euphoric, even. True, last night had been a bit awkward, but Karkat wouldn't change anything about it. It was perfect to him.

John got out of the shower and toweled off, wrapping the blue cloth around his hips he reentered the bedroom to find Karkat still sitting under the covers, stretching his arms up and down.

"You sore?" John asked, swooping in for a delicate kiss. Karkat cupped his cheeks, and when their lips parted, rubbed their noses together.

"It's worth it," he whispered, causing John to blush hard. "Can I shower now? I'm sticky and I smell like cheese." Karkat crinkled his nose with a smile and John gave a love tap to Karkat's bare butt as he made the trek to the bathroom.

John got dressed in pajama pants and a tee shirt with Nic Cage's face on it. True, Con Air kind of sucked, but John still loved it after many years of proclaiming how bad it was.

He went downstairs, leaving Karkat in peace to shower and change, and on his way down he heard the faint tune of some song coming from the shower. It made John smile with familiarity.

Cinnamon rolls being pulled out of the oven, and a casually dressed Dad met John in the kitchen. Dad shooed him away when he dipped his fingers in the frosting, so he made himself comfortable on the oversized chair by the staircase.

Dad hummed in the kitchen and John lounged on the chair when a creak make the bespectacled boy glance at the stairs. Karkat froze with one foot in the air, and he stared at John, who was smiling widely at Karkat's outfit.

Baggy blue plaid pajama pants, obviously John's, were covered with a huge red sweater. Printed in the center of the sweater was a white crab, and it hung off his shoulder revealing a light pink tank top underneath.

Karkat was flustered and bright pink from being observed.

"What?!" he asked, voice squeaking as he hurried down the stairs. John chuckled and grabbed Karkat's sweater, pulling him back to the chair as he tried to rush by.

"Nothing. You look cute!" John tugged again, pulling Karkat over the arm of the chair and into his lap. Administering a kiss, Karkat wriggled around so they were laying next to each other tightly, John holding Karkat tightly. Dad peeked out, looking at the two who were distracted by each other. He grinned a bit, and put cinnamon rolls on a huge platter.

John and Karkat perked up. Both sat up quickly, sliding a bit away from each other when Dad came out of the kitchen with the sweet buns. Dad laughed and shook his head.

"I don't mind, but these will get cold if we don't eat them soon." He set the platter down and handed the two boys plates. Karkat's stomach gurgled loudly and he grimaced at it angrily. John plopped buns on both their plates. Karkat wasted no time to take a big bite of the gooey pastry.

It wasn't long before all of the cinnamon rolls were devoured by the hungry teens and father.

The two lounged and Dad quirked a brow.

"Not interested in presents? Either of you?" John laughed and linked his fingers with Karkat's at his Dad's words.

"C'mon! Let's open presents." John was sparkling, over the moon. Karkat simply nodded and followed - more like was dragged - to the huge tree. Presents were piled underneath addressed to everybody, even Karkat.

John and Karkat distributed the presents into big piles around the tree, taking their seats once all were dispersed.

Bows were torn off, and one was plopped on Karkat's head by John. Karkat unwrapped a set or fancy chopsticks from John, and a set of pans from Dad, which shocked him.

"John told me you loved cooking." Dad winked when brows furrowed at him.

Books, movies, games, and new clothes were unwrapped, paper crumpled into tight balls, and thrown in a war between the misfit family. Karkat only had two presents left, both from John. He unwrapped the smaller one, and found a small red phone case in the shape of a rilakuma bear. He quirked a brow and set the case on his knee, and opened the second package, which contained a new iPhone.

"No. No, no, no you didn't."

"Oh yes I did."

"Why?!"

"You needed a phone."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Karkat."

Dad smiled at the two, who still were holding hands after everything.

"Hey, Karkat, John, I think you have a lot of potential... And, well I'd love to hear you both sing, but there's potential there. And, well I'd like to help you. We have two weeks before a competition for vocals and instrumental, and there's classes for both. Would you like to enter?" Orange and blue eyes met each other and they nodded swiftly.

"Yeah we would!" Karkat chirped. Dad laughed.

"Then we'll start practice tomorrow."  
 **  
BR/N: Dudes I'm moving to California.**

**A/N: no move to Michigan and be with me instead.**


	31. Chapter 31

They all sang Christmas carols that night. 

John and Karkat took another walk, this one moonlit and quiet. They didn't speak, but kissed chastely next to the lake in the snowfall. It was quiet, it was peaceful. This was something confusing, befuddling, and too sweet for Karkat, but he was on a sugar high and didn't care if his stomach got upset. 

They spent the night cuddled under a blanket by the fireplace, Karkat downloading apps and playing with his smartphone. 

"Come here," he whispered, bringing their faces together, and holding up the camera on the phone. They smiled while Karkat snapped the picture. 

"What was that for?" John giggled; it did so much more justice than the annoying typed laughter. Karkat pressed his thumb a few times to the phone screen, and then turned it in sleep mode. 

"Look." He pressed the bottom button again and this time the picture appeared below the clock. 

"You made us your lock screen?" John asked with a smile. Karkat nodded happily and snuggled into John's side. The boy in the Con Air shirt wrapped his arm around Karkat and exhaled with a content sigh. They sat by the fire until late past when Dad had gone to bed. Deciding it was time for sleep, they trudged up the stairs with tired bodies and collapsed onto the king sized bed.

They awoke warm and cuddled together. Smiling, they kissed each other softly again. It was early, barely 7 am, so they did something they hadn’t done in a long time: they talked about their feelings. Making a makeshift blanket fort, they curled into each other.

“Sometimes I wonder where I’d be if I hadn’t met you my first day. I mean, I’d probably not even have any other friends besides Gamzee, and he’s already drifted so far,” Karkat whispered.

“I’d be missing one of my best friends, and my boyfriend, Karkat. Not to mention probably a few teeth if you hadn’t saved me.” They both laughed at John’s backhanded comment. When they got too hot under the blankets, they slipped out and got dressed, plodding down the stairs to meet Dad for breakfast.

Waffles were on the menu this morning. Dad sipped his coffee and read his newspaper while the two teenagers joyfully shoveled down the fluffy circles with gusto. When they had their fill, they dunked their plates in the sink to soak off the syrup. Dad beckoned them back to the table.

“Well, we have two weeks to prepare you for this competition, and I have some music I think might be perfect for you.” Dad smiled, pulling out two pamphlets of sheet music and handing them over.

“ _Stray Italian Greyhound?_ ” Karkat asked, flipping through the instrumental. John had received the vocal.

“Karkat should sing it," John stated instantly, reading over the words and gnawing on his lip absentmindedly. “The lyrics suit him better.” They swapped sheets and read it over while Dad went to get another copy of the instrumental.

They went over it, John plinking out the notes gracefully at his piano. Karkat had his brows knit, frustrated. He wasn’t used to fast, sliding motions. Sure, he could play it, but it just didn’t sound right to him. Dad heard the cursing and the run of the same three chords over and over again before silence.

Then the door slammed.

“Karkat!” John yelled. The shorter one had all but thrown down his instrument in frustration and stormed from the house without a word. John rushed outside into the snow, watching his boyfriend trek off in nothing more than a tee shirt into the snow.

“Karkat!” John yelled again, running after him. He caught up by the entrance of the wooded path and grabbed his boyfriend's pale, freezing arms. He could see the tears shining in orange eyes that averted their gaze from John’s. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do it, John. Fuck, I just can’t do it! I can’t do the chords; I can’t play it right at all. You’re fucking there on your piano like a fucking champ and I’m trying my hardest to get the chorus line!” Karkat started at a whisper but it escalated to angry yelling. He wasn’t angry at anyone but himself. Tears continued to trickle down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut in frustration.

John studied his face for a long second, then grabbed him into a tight hug. “Shut up, Karkat. You’re better than this, and you know it! So shut it! Karkat, your violin playing was superb. Even if you think it sucks, it doesn’t! You have to believe in yourself. I know you don’t, but I do. I believe in you Karkat, and you I know you can do this.” Karkat looked up at John and sniffed, nodding a bit. John leaned in slowly, catching his lips.

It echoed their first kiss, alone together, soft, innocent, and momentary. They parted and Karkat quickly cleaned his face, finally shivering from the cold. Rushing back in the house, they ditched their shoes, Karkat picking up the vocal piece instead of going back to his violin.

Dad hadn’t heard Karkat sing yet to his full potential, so when the softer, slightly rasped voice echoed out beautifully through the quiet house, accompanied by John’s piano, he felt goosebumps rise on his arms.

The lyrics did suit Karkat, just as John said. It suited them both very well. He was happy in his choice, and although the accompaniment called for drums and a guitar, the vocals and piano sounded haunting in their refrains.

They spent a few hours on practice, then took a break. Popcorn and sodas joined them on the couch for a marathon of classic Christmas movies starting with Jack Frost.

“Why _Jack Frost_?” John had asked.

“Because it’s cute. You get next pick," Karkat grumbled, flicking a piece of popcorn at him.

“Hey!” John chuckled, throwing some back. They ended up picking more popcorn off the blanket than inside bowl.

After dinner and showers they decided to stargaze again, bundled up against the cold they sat on the roof, positive no _distractions_ would happen again.

Karkat’s eyes shined as he pointed out the different stars. John loved the way he spoke when he got passion ate about something. More often than not it was ranting, but on rare occasions like this, it was a glorious thing. Soft spoken and kindly worded, the descriptions Karkat painted with his sentences were beautiful.

“I love you,” John said quietly. Karkat froze in the middle of his word, eyebrows furrowing, registering the words that had been said.

Of all the 'I love you’s' they had shared, this one was the most genuine. “I love you, too," Karkat whispered. They both sat in a comfortable silence until their consciousness faded.

That night, stars made their blanket, and that sentence was their bed.


	32. Chapter 32

Karkat had the vocals down in a matter of days, having spent countless hours studying the sheet music, and having John play out the piano part. With only 10 days until the competition, he took his violin upstairs and rehearsed nonstop for hours.

When he finally lowered his violin after all that practice, he had a knot on his shoulder and a crick in his neck that were absurdly painful. Stiff, he went downstairs for dinner, where Dad commented on how much he improved over the course of the day. With idle chitchat, and a delicious dinner, Karkat forgot about the dull ache in his bones.

With the obligatory socialization out of the way, Karkat trudged upstairs, John following curiously at an inconspicuous distance. He found Karkat sitting on the edge of the bed, rolling his shoulder with puffed cheeks.

"Hey, Karkat," John crooned. Karkat looked up stiffly, with a slightly pained expression, nodding a greeting. John took a few steps, closing the door, crossing to the bed, and placed his hand on the one holding Karkat's shoulder.

"Take off your shirt and lay down," John prompted. Karkat raised a brow. "Trust me?" The small boy sighed and shrugged off his shirt, rolling over to his belly. John cracked his fingers and bent over Karkat, running his hands down the toned, scarred back, finding the knots, and slowly starting to knead out the lumps.

Karkat groaned softly into the mattress as John worked. It felt fantastic. The slow pressure and warm friction between their skin was soothing. John warned Karkat before he pressed hard onto a pressure point. It hurt, but then felt amazing. John leaned down and kissed where he had pressed lightly, repeating the process over and over upon Karkat's pale back.

Karkat balled his fists in the sheets as John worked. _Where the fuck did he learn to do this?_ he thought with clouded judgement. John's hands danced for almost an hour, pianist fingers pushing Karkat past the point of relaxation. When he finished, he kissed Karkat's neck softly. The shirtless boy rolled over and kissed John softly.

Karkat's arms wrapped around John, which led to his hips being straddled, with John running his weary fingers of Karkat's torso. They nipped at each other's necks lightly, leaving small love bites on collar bones, a hidden tag that claimed, "You're mine."

Karkat was drowsy, and left messy kisses on John's face and neck.

"You're sleepy," John cooed. Karkat nodded slightly, his mind fuzzled with sleep.

"Fuck yeah I am. You and your god damn massage skills." Karkat smiled, eyes squinted. John couldn't help but melt; he hadn't heard the snarky side of Karkat in a while, and realized that maybe he just needed something to help him unwind every so often.

They shimmed into bed, Karkat kicking off his pants so he was just in his boxers, John doing the same. They tangled themselves together, and Karkat was already half asleep.

"Sing to me." The command came in the dark, and was returned with a bit of a growl.

"Fuck you, John," Karkat sighed, but took in a breath.

_"To lose my life, or lose my love._

_That's the nightmare I've been running from._

_So let me hold you in my arms a while._

_I was always careless as a child."_

_The beat was slow, methodical, and the pitch remained a constant low._

_"And there's a part of me that still believes._

_My soul with soar above the trees._

_But a desperate fear flows through my blood,_

_That our dead loves buried beneath the mud."_

_Karkat paused for a second, taking another deep breath._

_"Let's grow old together_

_And die at the same time._

_Let's grow old together,_

_And die at the same time."_

He finished off the rest of the song, quietly chirping out the tune. Moments after, both of them fell into a thick blanketed slumber, wrapped up in each other, and perfectly content.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: hey everyone! Wow, 33 chapters already! This is crazy! Anyway, if you have a tumblr, and don't already follow privateschoolstuck (the url) on it, then you might not know there's actually a giveaway for all of the PSS readers! The entire post is on our tumblr, privateschoolstuck, and if you don't have a tumblr and would like to enter, shoot me a message really quickly with your username, and I'll enter you into the competition! Good luck ladies and gentletrolls!**

**Love- Katy**

**BR/N: Hey guys. I am really super emotional right now mostly because I'm graduating and all that and it's making me realize for some odd reason that i am a big loser and all that. Hurts really.**

**But anyways, here's Chapter 33!**

The days after that were busy, nights grew fitful, and before they knew it, the eve of the competition was at hand. Karkat didn't eat, couldn't eat, and instead took to pacing while singing the lyrics slowly. Of course he had them memorized, and he knew his violin part. He had practiced all day with John under the strict critique of the elder Egbert.

John watched from his swivel chair, chin rested in open palms. "Hey, Karkat. Calm the fuck down, man," he said quietly. Karkat paused in mid stride, eyes blinking back to life for a second. "You're pacing a trail in my carpeting." Karkat looked down, indeed noticing the flattened path in the tan carpeting.

"I can't help it. I always pace when I'm nervous…" Karkat huffed loudly. He had a long forgotten cup of tea on the dresser next to Kida's temporary case.

"Can I help you relax?" John smirked mischievously. Karkat blinked back a few times, raising an eyebrow. John got up and grasped the edges of the sweater adorning Karkat's skinny frame. Pulling it over his head, Karkat instinctively crossed his arms over his chest. John kissed him gently, and told him to go lay on the bed.

John's fingers began to work the kinks and bumps from the milky skin bellow him. Karkat groaned softly into the bed, eyes half lidded, and John soon felt his self restraint leaving at an alarmingly faster rate than usual. He bit his lip roughly, but Karkat was slowly ebbing toward something different as well. With a sudden flip, Karkat was facing John, who was now sitting directly on the abdomen of his lust filled boyfriend.

Karkat sat up, John sliding onto Karkat's crotch, and slender fingers encased either cheek, bringing the wide eyed one into a soft, yet hot kiss. John threaded his fingers in Karkat's hair, pulling their faces closer, and slid their tongues together. Karkat worked off John's shirt, sliding his hands over his stomach, nails grazing the hypersensitive skin with their short edges.

John could feel Karkat getting harder from his perfect position. Karkat was too busy leaving faint marks on John's chest and collarbone to care about the embarrassing tent forming. John was having the same problem, however, and with all the extra attention he was getting, he was a lot more eager. Karkat sucked on a hollow part of John's neck, sliding both hands into the back of John's pants and grabbing two full palms of asscheek.

_Fuck, he has a great ass..._ Karkat thought, stifling a small moan. John raised himself up a bit, giving Karkat better access to his posterior. They clashed mouths again and struggled to rid themselves of the binding pants. Freed of clothing burdens they sat back for a moment, John still on top of Karkat, but both still insecure of their bodies.

Karkat was the first to tough, not John, but himself. Orange eyes never left blue ones, and John could feel his cock stiffening rapidly. Karkat's cheeks were flushed, eyes swimming, and mouth hanging open, short raggedy pants escaping like almost visible puffs of steam.

"Stop," John whispered, pleaded. Karkat simply slowed. "Karkat stop please I want you so badly." John was whining in high pitches, tugging at his own dick now. Karkat got the lube from the bedside table, and began slicking his fingers, and spreading his legs difficultly with John perched on his thighs. John shook his head.

"No, me." Oh. OH. Karkat took one hand and spread John's ass carefully, inserting a slicked finger slowly. He used too much lube, better to not need it later. John kissed Karkat between soft cries and thrusts of his hips.

John couldn't tell if he liked, or hated the feeling as Karkat's fingers slowly worked inside of him. They had talked about this. Sex meant more to them than just raging hormones and something to do to feel good. It was a connection, physical and mental, trusting the other entirely to be gentle, or be firm. To move inside someone, or have them move inside you was the closest the two could possibly manage to sync together. Their breaths matched, thrusts in time, and kisses perfectly in tune.

Karkat let John tell him when he was ready, it seemed like an eternity. John decided he liked being fingered, but he wanted to feel Karkat moving in time with his body like they had done before.

Karkat slicked his hardened cock, guiding John's hips over it, and gently helping him down. Warmth, and tightness enveloped him, and he tilted his head back a bit in pleasure as John stabilized himself by gripping his shoulders. John took it slow, sliding Karkat in and out only a few inches at a time, rolling his hips like some sort of amateur porn star. Eventually he had all of Karkat inside him, and gave Karkat the okay to move.

The soft smack of skin against skin was mingled with a stifled cry. Karkat had to lie back, holding John's hips as he rocked up into him, moving slowly.

John had fireworks behind his tightly shut eyelids. He felt Karkat's pace quicken a bit, fingers squeezing tighter on his hips, and John managed to time his rolling movements with Karkat's thrusts.

It wasn't long before Karkat had to bite his own lip, while John bit his own knuckles to keep from being loud in their endeavors. Their pace had escalated, and decelerated multiple times until they had found a good, even pace. Karkat's hand found John's bobbing cock when his face started flushing hot. With a few erratic thrusts, paired with equally frantic strokes, both were cumming hard.

They knew not to sleep in the sticky mess and after catching their breaths, they trudged to the shower, climbing in together and soaping their bodies. It was still early when they collapsed into bed, towel dried and damp, kicking off the messy comforter in favor of a smaller blanket, and each others body heat.

They were both blessed by pleasant dreams; ones of soft kisses and silly dates. Normally nightmare ridden, or dreamless, Karkat's face twisted into a tiny smile as the dreams soothed him that night.

**BR/N: Short, yeah. But at least it's smut to make up for it.**

**A/N: Filler, bitches.**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Wow guys I’m almost done with school, which means this fanfic is coming to it’s year anniversary! Wow wow holy butts! Thank you so much, all of you readers, new and old, who decided to partake in this strange roller coaster of emotions! I love all of you, and your support means so much to me! This is the longest I’ve done any sort of project thing, and it’s turned into something great. So thank you!!!  
Love, Katy**

**BR/N: Dudes I graduate on the 6th.**

Upon awakening, the boys found themselves scrambling into clothes and packing up Karkat's violin. They dressed neatly; Karkat in a grey dress shirt, red tie, and black slacks, John's outfit only differing in his choice of green tie. 

Dad gave them each a piece of toast and coffee when they thumped down the stairs, and they ate in a hurried caution. 

"What kind of piano are they going to have, Dad?" John asked ask they headed to the car. 

"A Seiler. Top quality, a bit more expensive then we have here," Dad joked, opening the trunk for Karkat to heft his case into. That much was the extreme truth, the show hall sported a 50,000 dollar piano, but also was one of the highest rating halls in the country. 

Karkat still hadn't said a word, looking nervous. John, who picked up on the fidgeting fingers, opted to to sit in the backseat and hold Karkat's hand. The fidgeting calmed, and a small smile was offered to John. 

The drive was quiet. "Are you nervous?" John asked. Karkat nodded. "You shouldn't be. You've worked your ass off to get it perfect." 

"I'm just afraid perfect won't be enough," Karkat huffed, puffing out his cheeks then releasing the breath he was holding. 

"Don't be nervous, Karkat!" John shushed, leaning over to press a soft kiss onto his temple. He giggled a bit when he felt Karkat's cheeks grow warmer. 

It was, indeed, a quiet ride.

The show house was crowded with teens and young adults, solo and with groups. They waited in line for almost a half hour before getting their numbers and their estimated time slot. They provided a copy of the sheet music for the judges and went to the communal hall where all the contestants waited. 

John settled Karkat in a back corner where he could polish his bow in peace, and went to go wait in line for the piano. He caught whiff of names and instruments, but the contest was over 100 strong. 

With the availability of ten minutes at the piano, John hurried through warm ups, learning the gracefulness of the expensive piano, the tune and note strength. He was able to run through the song once, and was relieved to find he made no mistakes. The timer chimed and he was booted off the bench for the next piano player. 

"So far I've only seen four other violin players," Karkat said on John's return. "A lot of piano, a lot of cello, and a lot of guitar." John looked around and noticed his boyfriend was right, then sank down on the ground next to him. Karkat worked on his bow and plucked the tune of their song absently before bringing the gleaming instrument up under his chin. 

John had never seen Karkat do a full warm up, so to hear small, classic bits strewn out in rapid succession was a bit odd. Karkat closed his eyes and ran through the song twice, first without singing and the second with the lyrics. They waited, not holding hands, but sitting with their pinkies locked. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, performers, this is your ten minute warning! Please finish your warm ups, and find your corresponding places." The loud announcement jolted Karkat with adrenaline, and he immediately got up to warm up his voice. He came back minutes later shaking visibly with nerves. 

"I don't think I can do it," he muttered. John cupped his face, squeezing a bit and forcing orange eyes to blue ones. 

"Shut up." Karkat's eyes widened at the demand. "You're gonna do fantastic." They found their place; they were close to last performance, so they got to stay backstage for the majority of the contest. 

Karkat hummed to himself and paced, John continuously trying to calm him. One by one the contestants were called, until four groups remained. It had been well over 3 hours. 

"John and Karkat!" the stage hand called. Karkat grabbed his violin before they headed to the stage. He was equipped with his microphone, and they took their places, spotlights aimed precisely. 

_"Oh no not now..."_

Karkat's voice was soft, barely there, and after those few words, the piano struck up in the background.

_"Please not now..._

_I just settled in to this glass half empty, made myself at home.  
And so why now?"_

The piano continued as Karkat pitched his voice even quieter.

_"Oh please not now..."_

With an inhale he came back with more force. 

_"I just stopped believing in happy endings, harbors of my own."_

The piano changed in melody, and Karkat felt himself starting to relax. He slid his bow across the strings of his violin lightly, each note a sweet crescendo of sound. 

_"But you had to come along, didn't you?_

_Break down the doors, throw open windows._

_Oh, if you knew just what a fool you have made me."_

The soft voice brought itself even more power.

_"So what do I do with this?_

_This stray Italian greyhound, these inconvenient fireworks?_

_This ice cream covered screaming hyperactive thoughts?_

_God I just want to lay down, these colors make my eyes hurt._

_This feeling calls for everything that I am not."_

Karkat's eyebrows released their tense position. 

_"I'm not that kind._

_I'm so good at shooting down any notion,_

_This tired world could change._

_It's all been bought,_

_Or at least that was my line._

_No use in spending all that emotion,_

_When there's someone else to blame._

_But you had to come along didn't you?_

_Rev up the crowd, rewrite the rule book._

_Where do I go when every 'no' turns into 'maybe'?_

_So what do I do with this?"_

The duo increased, progressively getting louder as they went. 

_"This sudden burst of sunlight,_

_And me with my umbrella,_

_Cross-indexing every weatherman's report._

_I was ready for the down slide,_

_But not for spring to well up._

_This feeling calls for everything I can't afford,_

_To know,_

_Is possible now..."_

Karkat hushed to the point the audience was dead silent to hear him. 

_"What do I do, do I do with a love that won't,  
That wont sit still, won't do what it's told?_

_What do I do, do I do,_

_With a love that won't sit still?”_

Karkat and John continued to go strong with the instrumental break, the piano and violin mixing together in a beautiful melody.

_“Please not now..._

_Please not now..._

_Please not now, please not..._

_What do I do, do I do with a love that won't sit still,_

_With a love that won't sit still?_

_What do I do, do I do with a love that won't,_

_With a love that won't sit still?_

_What do I do, do I do with a love that won't, that won't sit still?_

_Won't do what it's told?_

_What do I do, do I do with a love that won't sit still?"_

With one final inhale the final crescendo appeared out if the skinny frame. 

_"Everything that I am, everything that I am,_

_Everything that I am, everything that I am..."_

The hushed whispers of the audience turned into a shouting applause, and the judges marked down on a scare card that was handed to some invisible announcer.

"A 9.7 across the board, folks! I think we can all see why, too!"

When they rushed off stage in a whirlwind of adrenaline, a stage hand pulled them away.

"You two made it to the finals. I hope you have another song ready."

" _Another song?_ " They asked in unison.

"Nobody said anything about another song!" Karkat said, pitch rising.

"We'll you have to have one."

They were rushed backstage again.

"Another song?" Karkat wheezed.

"I think I know what we can do." John smirked, leaning over and kissing Karkat's cheek.

"I know exactly what we can do."

 

**BR/N: SCREAMS INTENSELY**


	35. Chapter 35

Karkat and John sat patiently during the break. Other musicians filed through, collecting their stuff and leaving. A few stopped to congratulate them and the other finalists. When this happened Karkat tended to grow a bit paler in the face, looking slightly nervous.

Dad arrived with food; food that Karkat turned his nose up at.

"I don't want to puke it up," he explained, "I'm really nervous."

"You're going puke if you don't eat, Karkat!" John reasoned, holding a few of his French fries out. Karkat growled and bit them off close to John's fingers, causing him to yelp in surprise.

"Can I ask what song you're doing?" John grinned smugly and shook his head at his father.

"It's something we've been working on at school." John smirked, and Karkat nodded, finally shoving the food into his mouth.

Dad dropped it after that, and was shooed out of the back area by stagehands. The 2 other groups of finalists each claimed a corner, leaving John and Karkat sitting close together, pinkies linked again.

"You have the melody of this down pat, I have the vocals, and backup is easy enough!" John soothed. Karkat nodded, they'd be the last to go on. Then came the judging period.

The first group was called, a girl with a guitar and a boy who sang. They were out on stage for a short amount of time before they slipped back in, applause following through the doors.

Two girls holding violins went next, they had managed a feat of dub step violin, and it had rocked the entire audience.

Five minutes went by, and then the two boyfriends were called. John led the way, and the stage lights were dimmed as a request.

Karkat sat down at the piano, and John took his place at the microphone.

Karkat began playing slowly, a simple, repetitive tune. After a few seconds, John took a small breath and began to sing.

_"When all the world is spinning round,_  
Like a red balloon way up in the clouds,  
And my feet will not stay on the ground,  
You anchor me back down." 

His voice was soft, the melody was soft, and the hush that went through the audience was breathtaking.

Karkat thought the same about John, sneaking glances, the lights made his hair shine, his body language was confident, and Karkat could tell by his voice he had a small, cheeky smile plastered on his face.

Karkat leaned forward into the small microphone planted on the piano, and quietly began the background "oo's" that added just a touch of complexity and dimension to the song as the piano changed.

_"I am nearly world renowned,_  
As a restless soul who always skips town,  
But I look for you to come around, and anchor me back down." 

John heard the slight change in Karkat's pitch as his next cue, and with another, deeper breath he let his voice rise in volume.

_"There are those who think that I'm strange._  
They would box me up and tell me to change,  
But you hold me close and softly say.  
That you wouldn't have me any other way." 

The piano paused here, along with the vocals, for just a second, but it was a second to tone down and it fit in perfectly.

_"When people pin me as a clown,  
You behave as though I'm wearing a crown."_

Karkat joined in for the next line, only one, but their blend of voices, soft and light, sent a shiver down Dad's spine.

_"When I'm lost I feel so very found,"_

It was brief, and soon it was just John singing again.

_"When you anchor me back Down."_

The piano grew a tad stronger, more force behind the notes. As John began singing, Karkat began his complex, scale climbing backup.

_"There are those who think that I'm strange!"_

Karkat joined in for the next line, another goosebump inducing mix.

_"They would box me up and tell me to change,"_

John took over as Karkat faded out in the middle of the next line.

_"But you hold me close and softly say,_

_That you wouldn't have me any other way."_

The piano reverted back to its simple tune, barely there.

_"When all the world is spinning round,_

_Like a red balloon way up in the clouds,_  
And my feet will not stay on the ground,  
You anchor me back down." 

The piano kept tinkling on, fading fast, however. When the last note was played, the lights dimmed, and there was a few seconds of silence.

It started slow, the clapping that broke the silence hadn't even come from Dad, but he was the first to stand. There was no cheering or whistling. Only long, appreciative clapping, and a standing ovation. Karkat and John bowed in the near darkness, and hurried off stage.

Now came the waiting game.

John watched Karkat pluck out a familiar, haunting tune, that he couldn't quite place. Nobody was allowed to see them, so they sat away from the rest of the group.

"It wasn't bad that time."

"It was for me..." John whispered. Karkat looked up shocked.

"But you looked so confident!" he muttered incredulously.

John smiled and chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's a facade. I mean, being front and center is pretty nerve racking; you took it so well."

"I used to do dance performances." Karkat laughed.

"True, dancing like a total loser," John teased, raising his brows.

"Put those back down," Karkat growled, flicking John right between his eyebrows. John grunted and snorted, holding back laughter. It was good to see the regular Karkat again.

"I love you," John said quietly, lowering his lids and giving Karkat a soft stare.

Karkat blushed hard at the look, and nodded. "I love you, too."

They were sitting cross legged in front of each other. John smiled softly. "I wish I could kiss you right now."

Karkat's face turned even redder, PDA was still hard for him to accept. "But I can't. So it'll have to wait until we get home." Karkat gulped. He didn't want another night of sex, but he certainly could do with some heavy kissing. This was unlike John, however, he was normally such a goober, but Karkat didn't question it.

"We're going to fucking be here forever aren't we? Fuck, I'm bored, John," Karkat grumbled after nearly an hour had passed.

"I'm bored as shit too, Karkat. We can only wait around and see what place we got," John sighed in response, letting Karkat lay his head on his legs, and absentmindedly playing with the fluffy black locks. They talked about trivial things, like classes and what they were looking forward to in the coming semester of school.

"We're not in gym anymore!" John said enthusiastically.

Karkat grinned, nodding. "No offense to Dave, but the Strider family is a bit eccentric."

"You haven't met their oldest Brother; he takes care of them all. They just call him Bro, never a name. He's even crazier than Dave," John cautioned, smoothing Karkat's bangs off his forehead. They both laughed, Karkat sighing comfortably.

It was more mindless discussion; they talked about Karkat's love for cooking, and how his mother taught him almost everything he knew. Eventually, the stage hands came in to round up the 6 kids.

Escorted onto the stage, spotlights illuminated them. The judges sat at the table off stage, smiling at the contestants, and their decisions. The MC came on stage as he had done in the beginning, and shook everyone's hand. He paused to give a short speech congratulating everyone, before pulling an envelope from the breast pocket of his suit.

"And now, ladies and gentleman. Third place in this year's Festival of Sound, The Doberman's!" It was the girl with the guitar and the boy who sang. John and Karkat looked at each other anxiously. They hadn't been last.

"Second place…" He paused for a long time, looking back to both set of teenagers, who sweat nervously before him.

"Lydia Wenterson, and Josephine Bucholtz!" Karkat's eyes tunneled a bit. "First place to Karkat Vantas and John Egbert!"

John snapped Karkat back from his zoned out state by hugging him tightly, confetti rained down on them, and Karkat started laughing hysterically.

"We won!" John shouted, holding Karkat's face. Orange eyes pooled happy tears which John gladly wiped away. They hugged again, and accepted the large trophy handed to them.

They bowed, over and over, and had their photos taken for the newspaper; them holding the trophy up proudly. An interviewer caught them and asked them pointless questions.

"What inspired the songs you sang? They all seemed pretty romantic!" he had commented. Karkat flushed and John shrugged.

"Well, Karkat here's a big sappy romantic. I try, but this guy takes the cake," John spouted off.

"You two are relatively unknown! John, you're an Egbert, so it's in your blood, but Karkat we've never heard of you."

"Talent can be found anywhere; I don't even think I'm that fucking great, I rely on John here to keep me centered. He's my anchor, why the hell do you think we sang that song? I never used music for a fucking profit before, and I don't really want to. If I ever join a band or sell music or whatever it's because I want to make the people happy. Competitions were never my style. Music should be fucking free and admired, not judged," Karkat said. His face was exhausted, and the newspaperman seemed shocked at the blatant curses spouting from the pale one's lips.

After about a half hour of being trapped by media officials, Dad stepped up in his intimidating way and ushered the boys wordlessly to the car. They strapped the trophy in the front seat and sank down onto each other in the back as Dad started the car.

"Think you guys are up for dinner out?" Dad asked, the mutual, tired groan from the back seat made him chuckle to himself. "All right then, are you going to eat at all tonight?" he asked.

_"Noooooooooooooooooooooo,"_ they both whined. They were tired, and food didn't sound very appealing.

John and Karkat both dozed off on the long drive home, slumped on each other like a pile of kittens. Dad shook their shoulders when they got home, and the two trudged through the snow, up into the house. They shed their shoes and coats, and slunk up the stairs sleepily.

John and Karkat lazily stripped down to their boxers, and John fell back on the bed. Karkat closed the door and approached John, who had his eyes closed. He wormed his way on top of John, who opened his eyes and stared at Karkat with a small smile.

"Hi, Karkat," he said quietly, Karkat grinning softly in response. "What are you doing?"

"You said you wanted to kiss me," Karkat answered. John nodded, fogginess in both their eyes. John reached up slowly, cupping the back of Karkat's neck, and leaning up on his elbow, bringing their lips together softly.

They stayed in their kiss for a long moment before Karkat gently nipped John's lower lip. The receiving end smiled a bit, and he opened his mouth slightly, letting Karkat take control.

It was a sleepy smooch fest, with slight tongue touches, and hands that wandered backs and chests and stomachs. They were locked in their odd position, heads tilted together, and bodies close for a long time before drowsiness got the better of them. They shimmied up the bed and under the blankets quickly, John shutting off the lights, and both of them falling asleep instantaneously.

It had been a long day, and they deserved a good night's sleep.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> huh...

**A/N: It's been a while guys... hasn't it...**

The rest of their vacation was spent relaxing, watching anime, and eating. They watched the stars and took walks around the lake. Mitten hands clasping each other tight, sweaters and scarves keeping the cold at bay. They were over the moon from their win. Karkat blossomed in front of John, smiling wider, laughing louder, and opening up more and more to him. 

As soon as it began, it seemed to end. They were packing their bags, Kida and Casey were placed securely in the back seat. They'd burnt countless new CDs, and hugged Dad Egbert goodbye. He handed over a basket of fresh baked muffins and scones, and wiped a small tear from his eye when he kissed John's head. 

He leaned down a bit to talk to Karkat in a hushed voice, careful to place his hands on either of his shoulders. 

"Take care of yourself and my John, Karkat. You're always welcome here - at home. I'm so proud of you." Karkat's shining eyes grew wide, and he lurched into Dad's arms, hugging him tightly, smiling. 

"I promise, Dad," he said, and they parted. Dad waved them off, pipe billowing and hat obscuring his eyes as they drove down the snowy driveway. The music playing was soft. Though they were no longer Christmas carols, they still had the same feeling. Their trophy was buckled in the back seat, and a warm basket of bread rested on Karkat's lap. 

There was no snow or traffic problems through their drive. Halfway through, they pulled into a small diner and took a booth in the back. They split a milkshake and each got a cheeseburger, leaving a big tip out of the money they won in the competition. 

Karkat took over driving, switching CDs as he went, the GPS softly telling him where to turn. John had his head resting on a pillow. The window was cold, but the atmosphere was warm enough for him to fall into a nap. Their trip stretched over six hours of open highway, nearly abandoned in the post-New Year's weekend. They were heading back a day early, hoping for a chance to rest and help friends get back into their dorm rooms. 

"Thank you, for this," Karkat whispered to his sleeping boyfriend. "This was better than I could have hoped for. I'd been... alone... for so many holidays. It was nice to have someone like your dad care about me." 

John didn't stir. His glasses were shoved up, lopsided on his face. Karkat smiled affectionately at the sight. It seemed like it had been such a short time since he'd transferred here, the fights he'd gotten in fading into the background. He was still Karkat, but he felt different. One year felt like five. It’d feel like seven before this schooling would be over. 

John stirred as they drove into town, sitting up and yawning, rubbing his eyes before he adjusted his glasses. "Are we almost there?" he asked, glancing out the window at the familiar surroundings. 

"We'll be back in a few minutes," Karkat answered. "Have a nice nap, Egdork?" 

John laughed. It'd been awhile since they'd exchange casual insults. "Yeah, Truckdog." 

Karkat's smile was reward enough. John counted the freckles high on his fair cheeks, losing track of the number each time they passed down a dark street. 

The gates of their school loomed high as they pulled up to them. Karkat pulled out his identification card, letting the arms swing open for them to drive inside. They parked by John's dorm room. Karkat would have to see if Gamzee had been reassigned so he could move back into 612. 

Karkat and John let out shrill screams in the parking lot as they opened the car doors to the blistering cold. Rushing through the motions of grabbing their bags, holding small cages to their chests, and stumbling through the snow. 

"The key! The _key_ , John!" Karkat shrieked as he shivered outside the door. 

"I'm _trying_!" John whined back, streams of fod fuming from his nose and mouth. The keys jingled in his hand as he struggled to shove open the door. They ran inside to find an equally cold space. 

"We forgot to keep the heat on!" Karkat wailed, for once feeling terrible about the apartment-style dorms the school had. He rushed to set Kida down safely and switched the heating on, still shivering in his coat as they adjusted themselves. 

"I need to get Casey under her heat lamp," John said, excusing himself.

"I'm going to take a hot shower," Karkat called. He switched on all the christmas lights as he went, creating a soft glowing ambiance. Het let the shower heat up once he got to the bathroom and stripped down, avoiding eye contact with himself in the mirror. His body still made him upset, but he was getting better. 

The hot water sent a shudder down his spine, the heat seeming to almost burn his skin. He hummed as he looked over the items in John's shower, having forgotten to take his toiletries with him. Old Spice, Barbasol, basic razors, and Irish Spring soap. Karkat felt himself holding back a laugh as he thought about how old fashioned these were. 

Karkat jumped in surprise when the door opened and the cold air from outside rushed in. He peeked around the curtain, seeing John taking off his shirt. 

_"What are you doing_?" Karkat hissed. _"I'm in here!!"_

"I _know_ that, Karkat. I'm not stupid, but it's my shower and I'm cold and stinky too!" John whined, finishing stripping. 

"No, John," Karkat growled as he approached the shower. 

"Karkat, move over," John warned. They struggled with the shower curtain until John eventually wrenched it free and slid into the cramped shower next to Karkat. 

"I really hate you, you know that, John?" Karkat sighed in defeat as he went back to scrubbing his arms. John only laughed and took the shower gel, lathering his hands and rubbing Karkat's hunched shoulders. A soft, content hum escaped Karkat’s throat, shoulders relaxing as his back was to John. John kissed Karkat's wet hair. 

"I know you hate me, but I love you, so I don't care." 

"Shut up... I love you too." Karkat turned around and kissed John's jaw gently. They showered together, singing a soft duet of a song they'd discovered. 

_"Well give yourself a reason To start a brand new season Well it's time we got a new start To show them how different we are So why can't we go from the start this year?"_

They hopped out and toweled off. John had been smart enough to bring warm pajamas for the both of them. They both pulled them on before going to the living room. Neither of them were quite tired enough to head to bed. With the lights off, the Christmas tree and twinkling lights made the room just bright enough. 

"We can watch movies," Karkat suggested.

John made a noise of affirmation in the back of his throat. "I'll make hot chocolate." The night passed in a bundle of blankets and mugs, movies and musical numbers flashing on the screen until they fell asleep, curled together on the couch. 

Dave jolted them awake as he quite literally kicked in the door.

"Yo, Karkat! John! I’m home!" he called out, not knowing the two of them were less that seven feet away. The look of panic on both their faces made Dave clam up.

"Yo, my guys, I'm so fucking sorry," he apologized. John burst out laughing. Karkat's shock wore off, and he, too, melted into a puddle of giggles. Dave was wearing a ridiculous sweater with Tom Cruise's face plastered all over it with tinsel and bells on the arms. A giant duffle bag had been swung over his shoulder. 

"Aren't you two comfy? You look warmer than two pecans in a pie," he said. His face was significantly tanner, and his Texan drawl was more pronounced than ever. 

"Did you go back with Bro?"

"Yeah, it was nice to see family in Texas. You go see Big Daddy Dearest?"

"Please don't call my father Daddy, Dave." 

"You'll have to kill me." 

Karkat and John made breakfast for the three of them. Rose and Kanaya dropped in to visit, bringing bagels, and a small bag of groceries they desperately needed. Jade showed up with a basket of tropical fruit from her vacation back home. 

They brought up the newspaper articles featuring their win, making John and Karkat blush as they plated eggs and pancakes. They explained the win, showed off the trophy, and knew that it was only just the beginning of it all. Kanaya and Karkat went outside for a little bit, the kitchen too warm, and they started talking. 

"You seem different, Karkat. More relaxed. Happier, maybe?" 

"The holidays went well," he offered, leaning against the railing. 

"I'm glad. We care about you, and it's nice to see you smiling more." 

"Thank you, Kanaya. Really, it means a fuck ton coming from you. You and Rose have always been so fucking nice to me for no goddamn reason. For a long time I was just thinking, ‘what the hell is wrong with these people? Why are they talking to me, or showing me around, or asking about me? What the fuck do they want from me?’" 

"The answer is nothing," Kanaya said. "We don't want anything from you. We're just happy to be in your company." 

"Thank you," he murmured, a smile pulling at his lips. After a few moments of content silence, they headed back inside to the warmth. 

The next week was a flurry of new information. Karkat and John were called out of class multiple times to meet with people, big men in business suits who were too stuffy, wanting to represent them in competitions. They turned them all down politely. Karkat and John were also approached and praised by tons of classmates. Even Terezi was impressed when they went for coffee. 

The next competition was in a month, on Valentine's Day. John told Karkat his dad wanted them to compete. It was much closer, in the city, but the date was very, very close to be learning a new performance piece. 

They set their jaws, cursing as they sifted through music, trying to find something. Finally, in the depths of morning on a Friday, they pulled a set of sheet music from the boxes the teachers had allowed them to take. 

"This is fucking it," Karkat breathed.

"I couldn't agree more." 

"So we're going to do this? Be stupid singers who compete?"

"It's not selling out like American Idol," John justified. 

"But it's still something."

"It's still something." 

**A/N: I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVENT UPLOADED IN 2 GOD DAMN YEARS. I've been super busy with my life. I moved across the country to Los Angeles, went to SFX makeup school, and am working on finishing and publishing my debut novel!! For anyone interested in following my blog, where I post a lot more original creations, my tumblr is 2srooky!! I've missed writing this so much, I can't believe Homestuck is ending... I'm so sad about it. Here's to one last Hurrah!! Maybe a sequel in the future??**

BR/N:MAN OH MAN i missed all you guys so much thank you for having so much patience with us ily. Me and Kat were talking about it, and this fanfic is literally old enough that if it were a child it would be potty trained and speaking and going to kindergarten like. Can you imagine?? This fanfic is basically our child and I’m so happy to be seeing it through. Again, thank you for all of your support, reviews, kudos, favs and follows, etc. I’m also really sad to see Homestuck go. It’s literally the end of an era. If you guys are ever interested in hitting me up too, my URL is bruhkomaeda on the tumblr dot com.


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